**Claire**

Right folks I'd like your opinion on this please.

Kai was at his dads last weekend and when his dad brought him home he told me that his step dad had taken Kai out on his Hayabusa. I didn't exactly greet this with any kind of approval but Kai was bounding round the kitchen obviously still high on adrenalin so I didn't force the issue at the time. When his dad left Kai was full of it and telling me how much he enjoyed being on the back of the bike.

I'm not happy with it at all infact I'm totally against it but how do I broach the subject with his dad and granda. I don't want to act like the over protective mother but I don't want him going on the back of a road bike on the open road. After reading what happened to Paul (Godzilla) I'm shitting myself.

Is there a legal age limit for when you can be a pillion passenger? He rides mini motos and he's got the full leather gear and helmet but that isn't the point.

What would you do if you were me and how would you approach the subject? Do you think I'm being too overprotective?

Cheers for any advice you've got to give

as355f1

not a hope in hell would i let one of my kids on the back of a motorbike, and i ride them !

**Claire**

See that's exactly how I feel!! I didn't know that he was going to go on it, I just got to find out when he got home on Sunday night

BigErn

Depends where he went I suppose. Was it a run round the block or was he out riding all over?

At that age a slow ride round the estate, just to let him say he's been on one, is ok IMO but anything further is just asking for trouble.

**Claire**

I'm sure they went on the open road around where they live.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

As above, it depends on how its ridden if its safe or not, I wouldnt think twice about taking a kid out on a sports bike as I know I would be responsible doing so, but at the same time, I totally and utterly appreciate your concern.

I suspect that there is NO legal way you can stop him going out on a motorbike, as his father is his guardian too and can therefore allow it.

Pardeep

I am pretty sure 11 is too young to be sitting on the back of a bike let alone a Hayabusa. To be honest i think you should go in all guns blazing. If he was 15/16 then fair enough BUT 11???? Hell No.

**Claire**

He doesn't have parental responsibility so legally I can stop him. Isn't there an age limit though on when you can ride pillion??

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Im not aware of any minimum age, there probably is one, but I very much doubt it is younger than 11.

Its probably 7/8 or similar I expect.

**Claire**

I know this doesn't make it any better but he's big for his age, he's as tall as me and I'm 5'7". I know that his granda wouldn't go daft with him on the back but accidents can happen no matter how fast you are going

Chip

iTrader: (3)

I was wrong when I guessed it would be 7 or 8, there isnt a minimum age at all:

http://www.biker247.com/news/505.asp

Compeling points about the number of pedestrians and car passengers killed etc versus pillion but obviously they have ignored how many more kids are pedestrians than pillions.

**Claire**

Really, I had no idea it was it would be that young!

Edited to say just read your other post, I find that very strange but then again the stats seem to suggest that it's no more dangerous being pillion than it is crossing the road :s

Pardeep

I just looked it up for you and according to british law, there isn't a age limit set in the UK for bike passengers.

I know what you mean. You can be the safest driver/rider in the world. It'll always be some asshole that isn't paying attention, as i learned from my accident.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Full breakdown per european country here.

The OLDEST minimum age in europe anywhere is only 12

http://www.bmf.co.uk/pages/briefing_...?fullstory=418

BigErn

Is it going to be a one off ride or all the time. If its a one off then its not so bad, all the time would be a no no at his age.

Can you not say to his dad you arent overly keen on the idea and see what he says? No need to go in all guns blazing, just mention it at first.

**Claire**

Well in that case I don't really know what I can do about it. If he wants to do it I guess I'll just have to let him, I'm really not happy about it though, it scares the shit out of me if I'm honest.

cozzfather

iTrader: (1)

what does your ex ride like claire ??? i have mates who ride like they are on a hot lap of the tt and you know to be worried if they start racing.

if he is responsible and safe i still would not be happy on that thing. i used to go on my old mans bike when i was a nipper and i loved it but i remember his words clearly "let go of me and you'll fucking fall off,got it!"

**Claire**

He's going to his grandas on Thursday to work on his mini moto so I guess I can mention it then. I had a text message from his granda the other night to ask if he'd enjoyed it and I text back saying yes he had and he's now got the bug.

Yes I think it could become a regular thing, but I don't want to be the wicked over protective mother by telling him that no he can't. I trust his granda whole heartedly and I know that he would never put Kai in danger intentionally but like I said accidents can happen.

I guess I just have to bite the bullet and say something to his granda on Thursday. I just have to figure out how to word it right without causing a fuss.

**Claire**

It's not my ex's bike, it's his step dads (Kai's step granda) bike. He took me out on his GSXR 750 once and I shat myself big style, first time pillion passenger and last time!! I know he was like that with me and wouldn't be like that with Kai though.

Pardeep

I know its totally off topic but 'Kai' is a darn cool name lol

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Claire, one thing in defence of him doing it (easy for me to do so as he isnt my kid) I will say is this.

When I was 7 I fell off a pushbike and smashed my face in very badly and ended up in a coma and nearly died.

When I was 17 I fell off a motorbike that my mother HATED me riding, I had some minor injuries due to the full leathers and crash helment.

I suspect that your lad is more at risk riding like a twat around the roads on his pushbike (which he WILL do im sure, as I didnt know a single 11 year old kid who didnt when i was that age, me included), than he is on the back of a motorbike driven by a responsible old man who loves him dearly and would probably defend him with his life, rather than put him at risk.

**Claire**

Cheers I like it too

BigErn

Id just mention it in conversation and express your concerns. No harm in that. Rather than trying to stop it all together just say you would prefer if it was only now and again they went out as long as he was super careful.

I loved being on the back of bikes when I was a young 'un. I think I was around 12 when I started going to Westgate Rd on the back.

**Claire**

So do you think I'm just being over protective then? I don't want to stop him from doing stuff that he will enjoy, I know that his granda will look after him but I'm still very uneasy about it.

doctor stavros

Why not try the approach of telling your sons grandad how scared you are, instead of playing the overprotective role... Showing some emotion instead of coming across as harsh could work wonders.

I completely agree with your concerns, I wouldnt let me son on the back of a bike, im scared to let him out of my sight, let alone near a road, although he is only 4

In fact I even banned myself off bikes a few years back, just so that my son has a daddy and not just a memory......

Chip

iTrader: (3)

I think you are being a mum, a good one, and that its natural for you to worry, but generally old blokes who have been riding bikes all their lives are extremely aware of their surroundings, and not prone to showing off, especially with such a precious cargo on the back, so I think you need to thinnk of who he is with rather than concentrate on the hyabusa word, as I bet it is NOT being driven like some idiot like me would do without a pillion when his grandad has him on the back, even if he gives a little squirt in a straight line to show him what acceleration feels like, I bet he isnt taking blind bends stupidly quick or overtaking parked cars near a right turning, or any of the other things that normally kills bikers.

**Claire**

Kai loves motorbikes, I know that he's going to get one when he gets older. Maybe by riding pillion it will make him respect them more and the younger he does it the more respect he will have.

Like I've said though I don't want to be a kill joy, he's still just my little boy and I want to protect him as much as I can

Pardeep

Its others you have to worry about. I won't take anyone on my Bike. Not even Sinead. If anyone is going to get hurt, i rather it'd be me than anyone else.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

He will be FAR more at risk on a bike with himself as a 17 year old rider than he will be now with a 55 year old one or whatever.
Save your worrying for then, you're going to need it


I think that him experiencing bikes in the hands of someone responsible who cares about him is a good way to protect him if you accept that he WILL be on bikes anyway, as you say, its probably a good way for him to learn respect, being pillion on a bike you tend to take quite a lot in about what is happening, im sure he will be a better rider because of it.

yappstar

I always wanted a bike, ever since I went out on the back of my uncles when I was a kid (my mum went mad when she found out). After the tears and tantrums I accepted it wasnt going to happen so I waited until I could buy my own (bought a YZ250 motocross bike), then went mental on it, because it was the release and rebellion I was after. I had a few smashes but nothing major. Could have been alot worse for me though, I rode it like I stole it.
Maybe allow it on your terms, remind him that he has his own bike and will have to prove he's a good rider on that before he can go on bigger bikes, when he shows improvement on the mini moto, he gets a (short) ride on the Busa.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

If you ride inteligently, you can avoid most of the accidents that other people would have otherwise got you into, and an experienced rider will be relatively good at knowing how to treat all other road users like idiots.

Look how rarely you here of a motorcycle copper getting killed comapred to the number of miles they do, and that includes pursuits, not just sunday rides.

**Claire**

Point taken and I think I'll try that thank you

No, your probably right. I don't think it was so much that it's the Hayabusa thing, it would be the same if he was on any bike. His granda used to do trials bike stuff so I know he has an abundance of skill on a motorbike. I guess I'm just being a mum and worrying too much.

When he came home he was mega impressed with the bike and he was so full of it that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was worried or that I didn't want him doing it again. I'll just have to let go of the apron strings a little bit I guess.

BigErn

Theres nothing wrong with bein a mother Claire, its perfectly natural you will be concerned.

Maybe get him a field bike now, if funds will allow it, and he will learn a lot more respect from riding himself.

**Claire**

Cheers for the input guys it's much appreciated

Chip

iTrader: (3)

What an awesome mix of caring and love, with understanding and realism.

You sound like a TOP mum

**Claire**

He has two bikes at his dads, a mini moto and one of those bikes that you ride in the dirt, sorry I don't know what you call them. He's been around bikes since he was little and I know that he can ride them, he seems to have a talent for it.

Maybe it's a bit of my prejudice against bikes that is coming out as I don't feel safe on one so I don't think that he will be on one either.

I think when his granda comes I'll sit him down with a cuppa and some hobnobs and have a proper chat about my concerns, I'm sure he'll put me straight.

I remember when his granda took me out on the bike, we went chasing the hot air balloon over in Durham and he slowed down a little bit, little did I know that one of his mates was behind us and I got such a shock when he smacked my arse!!

I'll always remember what Brian told me before I got on the bike, 'just sit still and don't lean into the corners'. I think I took him a little bit too seriously as I sat rigid on the back of the bike and I hated every minute of it. I had jeans on and every time he stopped I just kept sliding forward and having to bunch my way to the back of the bike again. When he started going really fast I just gripped with my knees and clung on for dear life, I absolutely positively shat myself and I vowed I would never be pillion again!!

**Claire**

Awww I'm touched, cheer Chip

BigErn

If he already rides and has been around bikes a lot he will already be more clued up than you probably think. That combined with his granda being a very experienced rider and both wearing all the proper safety gear Id say he is in good hands tbh. Still no harm in expressing your concerns with him and Im sure he will put your mind at ease. I suspect a lot of your concern comes from when he took you out, Im 110% sure he is super careful with Kai on the back.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Agreed, Id certainly ride totally different with a fit bird on the back, to my step grandson if I had one.

Pardeep