My life - advice ?
02-01-2009, 07:48 PM
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My life - advice ?
try and keep this sensible please.
Im in a bit of a pickle at uni, and depending what decisions are taken by the standing Dean for my department (which is a shambles, but more on that later) it could change both my life and career.
Basically i went to uni and year 1 was fine, i had lots of fun, made a best friend, called Mark. We told each other everything, including all our secrets about our past and what not. Being straight my friendship with him was close, but obviously nothing sexual (because people seem to think it was/is, im saying it now). As for him, im not sure if he is Gay or not, but looking at it now, theres lots of signs that he is.
The situation is that he started to cause background trouble, stirring, making stuff up, telling people about my past, which if you know it, well it was to do with me being bullied, and he told people that its cool to take the piss out of me, and even hit me, because I wouldnt do anything about it. (wrong, but i havent done anything yet). Slowly but surely shit happened and friendships broke up, to the point where theres now me and another friend, Aidan, and 2 others, Deng and Elton, and everyone else in a 20 person class i cant trust. Aidan is my best friend, he has never done anything to me wrong or unjust.
So now theres a rift between everyone, i sit down one night and i get pissed on vodka. And i send a rather pleasant message to Mark via facebook. I do this because the alternative is to go round to his flat and belt seven shades of shit out of him, which whilst being highly pleasing, might be unrelistic and also probably foolish.
I basically said im sick of him, blah blah, tell people what you want because you dont know me. I signed it with the word "cunt" as it just summed everything up perfectly.
Then i get suspended from uni and have been for 2 months now, because hes reported this. He has also used someone elses facebook accounts to take screenshots of my status updates throughout the 2 months and keeps reporting me further about 3 times a week. Ive since deleted everyone from Facebook, which is a pain in the arse, who goes to uni, and the reports have stopped. He reported me for harrassment. All clearly written out, and his friend who happens to be our course leader / lecturer also reported me on Marks behalf.
So basically im up shit creek with neither a paddle or a boat.
So i have a few options:
Wait to see if i can go back to uni. Now im on an IDT course (IT) but they keep putting me on Media modules as the IT staff 80% of the staff quit on redundancy pay. So is it worth doing another 2 years of a course to finish with no IT module skills ?
Go into a normal job (read, cashier etc), at £6.50 an hour, 37 hours a week. Pay off my 19k of debt and generally have no flash car, or house for 10 years. be a nobody, be unhappy.
Go do 3rd tier IT support, on 18k a year. But i have to move to Essex way to do so, I live with family in Cornwall. Big daunting move, need a job, my credit rating is fucked so cant move on a loan, etc etc. Would also need to do CISCO and MCSE's at same time, more workload, spending more money.
Or ???????????????????
Note : I also fucked up a few friendships in the last few months, I think reading the above they might understand why now, but ive been depressed since being suspended and fucked everyone off in my own self pity. But 2009 has just started and im determined to make the best of a bad situation. I do apologise for being a cunt, especially to Chip, but at the time I didnt care about anything as it had all gone down the pan. I must thank my parents, without their support id be major league fucked now!!
thanks in advance for any advice people are willing to give me!!!
Im in a bit of a pickle at uni, and depending what decisions are taken by the standing Dean for my department (which is a shambles, but more on that later) it could change both my life and career.
Basically i went to uni and year 1 was fine, i had lots of fun, made a best friend, called Mark. We told each other everything, including all our secrets about our past and what not. Being straight my friendship with him was close, but obviously nothing sexual (because people seem to think it was/is, im saying it now). As for him, im not sure if he is Gay or not, but looking at it now, theres lots of signs that he is.
The situation is that he started to cause background trouble, stirring, making stuff up, telling people about my past, which if you know it, well it was to do with me being bullied, and he told people that its cool to take the piss out of me, and even hit me, because I wouldnt do anything about it. (wrong, but i havent done anything yet). Slowly but surely shit happened and friendships broke up, to the point where theres now me and another friend, Aidan, and 2 others, Deng and Elton, and everyone else in a 20 person class i cant trust. Aidan is my best friend, he has never done anything to me wrong or unjust.
So now theres a rift between everyone, i sit down one night and i get pissed on vodka. And i send a rather pleasant message to Mark via facebook. I do this because the alternative is to go round to his flat and belt seven shades of shit out of him, which whilst being highly pleasing, might be unrelistic and also probably foolish.
I basically said im sick of him, blah blah, tell people what you want because you dont know me. I signed it with the word "cunt" as it just summed everything up perfectly.
Then i get suspended from uni and have been for 2 months now, because hes reported this. He has also used someone elses facebook accounts to take screenshots of my status updates throughout the 2 months and keeps reporting me further about 3 times a week. Ive since deleted everyone from Facebook, which is a pain in the arse, who goes to uni, and the reports have stopped. He reported me for harrassment. All clearly written out, and his friend who happens to be our course leader / lecturer also reported me on Marks behalf.
So basically im up shit creek with neither a paddle or a boat.
So i have a few options:
Wait to see if i can go back to uni. Now im on an IDT course (IT) but they keep putting me on Media modules as the IT staff 80% of the staff quit on redundancy pay. So is it worth doing another 2 years of a course to finish with no IT module skills ?
Go into a normal job (read, cashier etc), at £6.50 an hour, 37 hours a week. Pay off my 19k of debt and generally have no flash car, or house for 10 years. be a nobody, be unhappy.
Go do 3rd tier IT support, on 18k a year. But i have to move to Essex way to do so, I live with family in Cornwall. Big daunting move, need a job, my credit rating is fucked so cant move on a loan, etc etc. Would also need to do CISCO and MCSE's at same time, more workload, spending more money.
Or ???????????????????
Note : I also fucked up a few friendships in the last few months, I think reading the above they might understand why now, but ive been depressed since being suspended and fucked everyone off in my own self pity. But 2009 has just started and im determined to make the best of a bad situation. I do apologise for being a cunt, especially to Chip, but at the time I didnt care about anything as it had all gone down the pan. I must thank my parents, without their support id be major league fucked now!!
thanks in advance for any advice people are willing to give me!!!
02-01-2009, 07:59 PM
#2
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If you're not going to get any qualifications at uni get out and get earning. You're already in enough debt.
What about going to college instead, then you can earn and learn.
What about going to college instead, then you can earn and learn.
02-01-2009, 08:01 PM
#3
Wait and see what the outcome at Uni is... because that rules out one of your options straight away, also, not sure how that would have a knock on effect if you were to try and enrole in further courses or modules somewhere else?? I presume that if you get expelled then it'll be on your record??
Regarding your debt, surely its Student Debt, so you only have to pay it back if/when you break through a certain income level... IIRC its about 20k p/annum isnt it??
My initial reaction, providing you are kept on at uni, would be to see out your course because its not worth having written off 2 years and 19k for nothing... and if you do try and do another course, look into it properly and try to pick something that has a decent structure to it.
Cheers,
Grant
Regarding your debt, surely its Student Debt, so you only have to pay it back if/when you break through a certain income level... IIRC its about 20k p/annum isnt it??
My initial reaction, providing you are kept on at uni, would be to see out your course because its not worth having written off 2 years and 19k for nothing... and if you do try and do another course, look into it properly and try to pick something that has a decent structure to it.
Cheers,
Grant
02-01-2009, 08:05 PM
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Its a tough one mate. I would ask the uni one thing though: what the fuck has facebook messaging got to do with university? If you were actually harrassing him regularly then fair play, but seeing as you sent one message, (whilst pissed) i think thats very unfair.
I would say try with every ounce of energy to keep yourself in uni, there are few jobs around at the moment but I would be inclined to try to weather the economics storm so to speak, and spend that time getting an education that will potentially take you much further in life. Dont sell yourself short just because of a drunken message.
Steve
I would say try with every ounce of energy to keep yourself in uni, there are few jobs around at the moment but I would be inclined to try to weather the economics storm so to speak, and spend that time getting an education that will potentially take you much further in life. Dont sell yourself short just because of a drunken message.
Steve
02-01-2009, 08:07 PM
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my advice is grow up a bit and change your attitude to people, no wonder you've got no mates left when you say things like people in "normal jobs are nobodys" and why should you have a flash car and house when you owe 19 grand
02-01-2009, 08:10 PM
#7
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erm tbh it's the cunt who's started all this need's sorting.
Tbh i cant really help anymore as my advice would probably not help(but make you feel better)
If he's done it to you how long till somebody else get's it?
Ah fuck it what i'd do is kidnap the cunt stick him in the back of a motor take him to the back of beyond then tell him once there that you are a family friend(while clavered up) and you will not be happy if it continues, strip him naked leave him to find his own way home, dont hurt him in anyway.
End of day you can alway's be somewhere your not
I wouldnt let this prick take your future away from you.
Tbh i cant really help anymore as my advice would probably not help(but make you feel better
)If he's done it to you how long till somebody else get's it?
Ah fuck it what i'd do is kidnap the cunt stick him in the back of a motor take him to the back of beyond then tell him once there that you are a family friend(while clavered up) and you will not be happy if it continues, strip him naked leave him to find his own way home, dont hurt him in anyway.
End of day you can alway's be somewhere your not
I wouldnt let this prick take your future away from you.
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02-01-2009, 08:14 PM
#8
Ah fuck it what i'd do is kidnap the cunt stick him in the back of a motor take him to the back of beyond then tell him once there that you are a family friend(while clavered up) and you will not be happy if it continues, strip him naked leave him to find his own way home, dont hurt him in anyway.
End of day you can alway's be somewhere your not
End of day you can alway's be somewhere your not
Its Tony isn't it?? ...........Tony Soprano??
Cheers,
Grant
02-01-2009, 08:32 PM
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02-01-2009, 08:46 PM
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"As for him, im not sure if he is Gay or not, but looking at it now, theres lots of signs that he is"
what gave it away then? looking back on it was it the naked wrestling or the bath together afterwards?
what gave it away then? looking back on it was it the naked wrestling or the bath together afterwards?
02-01-2009, 08:52 PM
#14
They suspended you for abusing someone over facebook????? is that how petty unis are getting now for banning people?? the uni is lame.
Id say fight tooth and nail to stay at uni. Also if they arent providing the modules required to complete the degree properly then surely theyve failed thier duty???
the uni is lame.Id say fight tooth and nail to stay at uni. Also if they arent providing the modules required to complete the degree properly then surely theyve failed thier duty???
02-01-2009, 08:52 PM
#15
They suspended you for abusing someone over facebook????? is that how petty unis are getting now for banning people?? the uni is lame.
Id say fight tooth and nail to stay at uni. Also if they arent providing the modules required to complete the degree properly then surely theyve failed thier duty???
the uni is lame.Id say fight tooth and nail to stay at uni. Also if they arent providing the modules required to complete the degree properly then surely theyve failed thier duty???
02-01-2009, 09:04 PM
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completely avoiding the very gay start to this story, where u shud have just gone windmillin in on the whole crowd of 'em you have fallen out with....
it isnt worth dropping out of uni after 2 years, not for anybody
and i should know, 'cos i did this. my reasons were different. i did it because my parents got divorced and towards the end of my 2nd year i noticed how tight things were gettin at home money wise for my mom, so i wanted an income so i could put in to help. over the summer i got used to the income, and so did the family, so when it came to my 3rd year i tried doin uni aswel as working every spare hour. then the inevitable, i failed a module, then another.....
i was offered the chance to take the remainder of my 3rd year out, and then retake, but again havin a steady job and earning meant i didnt want to go back to study and poorness, so i simply didnt
and yes it was very helpful to have my income for the household
but looking back, i regret every damn thing i did. my uni were nice enough to let me take my existing credit as a HND level qualification, and agree to let me go back for a 3rd year at my discretion, but its not possible now financially
i dont like to look at it as i had to miss out due to a family financial implication, but thats what it boils down to, i left in order to keep others happy
and just to really hit home as to what them 2 years of study will mean to companies that see your CV in future...
im now a really overqualified Van driver, with a HND in engineering design lol
stick out your course dude, and even if the uni try and stop you going back, as stated before, you could and should fight their decision as facebook isnt exactly life threatening, unless your part of a suicide cult or something
it isnt worth dropping out of uni after 2 years, not for anybody
and i should know, 'cos i did this. my reasons were different. i did it because my parents got divorced and towards the end of my 2nd year i noticed how tight things were gettin at home money wise for my mom, so i wanted an income so i could put in to help. over the summer i got used to the income, and so did the family, so when it came to my 3rd year i tried doin uni aswel as working every spare hour. then the inevitable, i failed a module, then another.....
i was offered the chance to take the remainder of my 3rd year out, and then retake, but again havin a steady job and earning meant i didnt want to go back to study and poorness, so i simply didnt
and yes it was very helpful to have my income for the household
but looking back, i regret every damn thing i did. my uni were nice enough to let me take my existing credit as a HND level qualification, and agree to let me go back for a 3rd year at my discretion, but its not possible now financially
i dont like to look at it as i had to miss out due to a family financial implication, but thats what it boils down to, i left in order to keep others happy
and just to really hit home as to what them 2 years of study will mean to companies that see your CV in future...
im now a really overqualified Van driver, with a HND in engineering design
lolstick out your course dude, and even if the uni try and stop you going back, as stated before, you could and should fight their decision as facebook isnt exactly life threatening, unless your part of a suicide cult or something
02-01-2009, 09:06 PM
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the uni has a pretty extensive terms and conditions.
a mate there went out IN THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS, got drunk, got in a fight, got arrested, and when he went back the uni kicked him out of the halls and suspended him untill his court date with the police!
It even says in their regulations that its an offense to IGNORE someone and that constitutes harrasment. WTF ?
"Please note that the University College’s interest in misconduct is not limited to the time you are on its premises and that you should, therefore, consider yourself as a student of the University College at all times and in all media, including electronic transmission of information and publishing to the internet."
Thats how they are doing this, i sent the msg on facebook over xmas holidays....... nothing to do with uni at all!
Whats more funny is the guy hasnt been going to lectures and blames me, says thats why he has reported me, cos hes scared etc and now im suspended and cant step foot on campus he still doesnt come to uni LOL. yet they dont care!
a mate there went out IN THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS, got drunk, got in a fight, got arrested, and when he went back the uni kicked him out of the halls and suspended him untill his court date with the police!
It even says in their regulations that its an offense to IGNORE someone and that constitutes harrasment. WTF ?
"Please note that the University College’s interest in misconduct is not limited to the time you are on its premises and that you should, therefore, consider yourself as a student of the University College at all times and in all media, including electronic transmission of information and publishing to the internet."
Thats how they are doing this, i sent the msg on facebook over xmas holidays....... nothing to do with uni at all!
Whats more funny is the guy hasnt been going to lectures and blames me, says thats why he has reported me, cos hes scared etc and now im suspended and cant step foot on campus he still doesnt come to uni LOL. yet they dont care!
Last edited by twoblacklines; 02-01-2009 at 09:09 PM.
02-01-2009, 09:14 PM
#18
which uni is this?? this sounds like some "red brick" upperclass unis trick to get rid of the "outsiders" or people who dont have daddys money.
does seem all a bit harsh to me for what youve supposedly done. get him done for bullying as well just to spite him.
does seem all a bit harsh to me for what youve supposedly done. get him done for bullying as well just to spite him.
02-01-2009, 09:14 PM
#19
which uni is this?? this sounds like some "red brick" upperclass unis trick to get rid of the "outsiders" or people who dont have daddys money.
does seem all a bit harsh to me for what youve supposedly done. get him done for bullying as well just to spite him.
does seem all a bit harsh to me for what youve supposedly done. get him done for bullying as well just to spite him.
02-01-2009, 09:21 PM
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does seem all a bit harsh to me for what youve supposedly done. get him done for bullying as well just to spite him.[/quote
more grassing? two wrongs dont make a right.
more grassing? two wrongs dont make a right.
Last edited by mk1escoz4x4; 02-01-2009 at 09:24 PM.
02-01-2009, 09:28 PM
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to be honest, I reckon you should get a fucking job mate and start earning.. No you dont have to work on a till. You can start an apprenticeship, trainee manager etc. I think you need a reality check though, saying that nobodys have a job like cashier etc, for fuck sake mate if you think thats going to make you unhappy wait till the reality of life hits you in the face! Try loosing a job, having a mortgage to pay and mouths to feed... God if you think that the hardest part of your life is going to be getting a job and paying your 19k off then blimey you have got an easy life!
My advice is to just stop getting involved with all the bullshit, i mean you are there to study and get qualifications and then get a well paid job, so just stick to what you went in there for and fuck the rest of the people.
If on the other hand, your going to just cruise through and meander from here to there then id just bin uni and get a real job...... christ you aint going to be able to run a nice car and have a nice house with 19k and no job so get over yourself and get earning, pay the 19k off or carry on studying!
My advice is to just stop getting involved with all the bullshit, i mean you are there to study and get qualifications and then get a well paid job, so just stick to what you went in there for and fuck the rest of the people.
If on the other hand, your going to just cruise through and meander from here to there then id just bin uni and get a real job...... christ you aint going to be able to run a nice car and have a nice house with 19k and no job so get over yourself and get earning, pay the 19k off or carry on studying!
02-01-2009, 09:29 PM
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Those terms etc are all well and good, but if you've paid tuition fees for a certain course which they are not providing the core modules of, then they have breached their side of the contract. So if it does come down to them not letting you back, make sure you at LEAST get a refund of all your fees paid to date, including accomodation and all associated expenses. A good solicitor would get you this.
Also, fight back at this guy - respond in writing to the allegations and involve the police on the basis of harassment and defamation of character.
As far as what you should do for the future - a degree will stand you in stronger stead for a good and well-paid career. Most unis will allow you to bring unit credits earned on other courses to them and have them count towards your degree. I would therefore suggest finding a different uni, talking to the admissions tutor and applying through UCAS asap (deadline is feb isn't it??). This also gives you the opportunity to potentially change to a slightly different course if you'd like to. Are you at UCL? Imperial would probably love the chance to rob one of their students
Chris
Also, fight back at this guy - respond in writing to the allegations and involve the police on the basis of harassment and defamation of character.
As far as what you should do for the future - a degree will stand you in stronger stead for a good and well-paid career. Most unis will allow you to bring unit credits earned on other courses to them and have them count towards your degree. I would therefore suggest finding a different uni, talking to the admissions tutor and applying through UCAS asap (deadline is feb isn't it??). This also gives you the opportunity to potentially change to a slightly different course if you'd like to. Are you at UCL? Imperial would probably love the chance to rob one of their students
Chris
02-01-2009, 09:30 PM
#25
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Infact i recently got a job part time doing pot cleaning in a pub, i lasted 3 days before quitting out of sheer boredom. Wether or not that makes me a loser or not I dont know !?
As for him being gay, him and the head tutor have what Mark calls a "close relationship", as well as Mark was with this girl called Holly and went on and on at her about wanting to shag her, when she gave in he didnt want to all of a sudden and dumped her, (she told me this, i know her, nice girl), and some things he has said in the past, make me think hes gay. Which is worrying as ive slept on his doorm floor a few times!
02-01-2009, 09:35 PM
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to be honest, I reckon you should get a fucking job mate and start earning.. No you dont have to work on a till. You can start an apprenticeship, trainee manager etc. I think you need a reality check though, saying that nobodys have a job like cashier etc, for fuck sake mate if you think thats going to make you unhappy wait till the reality of life hits you in the face! Try loosing a job, having a mortgage to pay and mouths to feed... God if you think that the hardest part of your life is going to be getting a job and paying your 19k off then blimey you have got an easy life!
My advice is to just stop getting involved with all the bullshit, i mean you are there to study and get qualifications and then get a well paid job, so just stick to what you went in there for and fuck the rest of the people.
If on the other hand, your going to just cruise through and meander from here to there then id just bin uni and get a real job...... christ you aint going to be able to run a nice car and have a nice house with 19k and no job so get over yourself and get earning, pay the 19k off or carry on studying!
My advice is to just stop getting involved with all the bullshit, i mean you are there to study and get qualifications and then get a well paid job, so just stick to what you went in there for and fuck the rest of the people.
If on the other hand, your going to just cruise through and meander from here to there then id just bin uni and get a real job...... christ you aint going to be able to run a nice car and have a nice house with 19k and no job so get over yourself and get earning, pay the 19k off or carry on studying!
02-01-2009, 09:36 PM
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02-01-2009, 09:38 PM
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i agree with everything apart from the bullying thing, i don't think anyone should look down there nose at people though, and yes by the sounds of it he does have a rude awakening, a massively rude awakening!
02-01-2009, 09:40 PM
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Benni.
Last edited by Benni; 02-01-2009 at 09:41 PM.
02-01-2009, 09:45 PM
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Stop talking through your arse with stupidty. What it is clear to everyone else he is saying is, he will have done two years of University and be no better off for it. Would you want to do a Mechanical Apprentice course for 34 months the 36 and end up as the workshop cleaner? I thought not. He's not looking down at anyone, he's just trying to better himself and rightly so.
Benni.
Benni.
"Go into a normal job (read, cashier etc), at £6.50 an hour, 37 hours a week. Pay off my 19k of debt and generally have no flash car, or house for 10 years. be a nobody, be unhappy"
and thats not looking down your nose, stop talking out of your arse
02-01-2009, 09:47 PM
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its also a lot harder to get into an apprenticeship once you are past 18, as companies want to pay 16-18yr old apprentice minimum wages, not the higher rate, so.....
i stil vote for 'windmilling in' in some way, shape or form
i stil vote for 'windmilling in' in some way, shape or form
02-01-2009, 09:50 PM
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defo go in the arms swinging, there are apprenticeships with companies in the aviation industry..... recommended!
I work as a metal fabricator and no day is the same, i make and fit different things for aircraft, day in day out but it still gets boring.... These university types are all fucking high if they think that there is a perfect job out there... its just a means to pay bills and live off... if you have excess then great!
I work as a metal fabricator and no day is the same, i make and fit different things for aircraft, day in day out but it still gets boring.... These university types are all fucking high if they think that there is a perfect job out there... its just a means to pay bills and live off... if you have excess then great!