My Mrs is thick as F**K (part two)
22-07-2008, 10:15 PM
#42
Monte 087
I was sat in the pub the other week having something to eat with a few mates including 2 thick as fuck lasses we know sat opposite me, talking about how we dont like fish and the convo went something like this,
Thick lass 1 "urrgghh i hate fish"
Thick lass 2 "so do I, i only like those things you get at christmas"
Me " what things you get at christmas? "
Thick lass 2 " you know those things in the glass"
Me " a prawn cocktail???? "
Thick lass 2 " yeah thats them
"
Me " you dont just get them at christmas you silly bint there a starter! "
Thick lass 2 " well we only get them at christmas in our house "
Thick lass 1 " urrgghh i hate those too, so me mum used to make me them but without the prawns "
Me " am i surrounded by fucking idiots here or something? "
Thick lass 1 " what??? "
Thick lass 2 " what??? "
Thick lass 1 "urrgghh i hate fish"
Thick lass 2 "so do I, i only like those things you get at christmas"
Me " what things you get at christmas? "
Thick lass 2 " you know those things in the glass"
Me " a prawn cocktail???? "
Thick lass 2 " yeah thats them
"Me " you dont just get them at christmas you silly bint there a starter! "
Thick lass 2 " well we only get them at christmas in our house "
Thick lass 1 " urrgghh i hate those too, so me mum used to make me them but without the prawns "
Me " am i surrounded by fucking idiots here or something? "
Thick lass 1 " what??? "
Thick lass 2 " what??? "
Last edited by paul16v; 22-07-2008 at 10:20 PM.
23-07-2008, 11:53 AM
#44
PassionFord Post Whore!!
my ex missus has come out with a few classics.
we were once watching a program on a stunt biker, who decided he would try and beat a jumping record, by jumping 4 25 feet wide blow fans! he set off hit the ramp, into the air, f*cked it up, and the commentator said: "oh no, he's hit the fans"!
to which my missus gasps "i hope they are ok?"
blondes
we were once watching a program on a stunt biker, who decided he would try and beat a jumping record, by jumping 4 25 feet wide blow fans! he set off hit the ramp, into the air, f*cked it up, and the commentator said: "oh no, he's hit the fans"!
to which my missus gasps "i hope they are ok?"
blondes
23-07-2008, 06:05 PM
#45
Wahay!! I've lost my Virginity!!
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my ex missus has come out with a few classics.
we were once watching a program on a stunt biker, who decided he would try and beat a jumping record, by jumping 4 25 feet wide blow fans! he set off hit the ramp, into the air, f*cked it up, and the commentator said: "oh no, he's hit the fans"!
to which my missus gasps "i hope they are ok?"
blondes
we were once watching a program on a stunt biker, who decided he would try and beat a jumping record, by jumping 4 25 feet wide blow fans! he set off hit the ramp, into the air, f*cked it up, and the commentator said: "oh no, he's hit the fans"!
to which my missus gasps "i hope they are ok?"
blondes
24-07-2008, 12:51 AM
#46
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
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My missus allways gets me special biccys when she goes shopping 
mind you she drive like a fricking loon and they allways end up in bits
Every birthday i get a new bit for me car
This year i got 2 NOS Mk3 cortina front indicators
My wifes a veggitarian so she don''t eat meat, fortunatly she still sucks it
mind you she drive like a fricking loon and they allways end up in bits
Every birthday i get a new bit for me car
This year i got 2 NOS Mk3 cortina front indicators
My wifes a veggitarian so she don''t eat meat, fortunatly she still sucks it
24-07-2008, 01:01 AM
#47
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
A mate from work was watching Pearl Harbour the film with his other half when about halfway through she turned to him and said " yeh, as if this would happen"
My fiancee is normally quite sharp but she does let it slip a little sometimes
Her: you want oat from the shop?
Me: a paper, sun or daily star
Her: doest daily star only come out on a saturday?
Me: WTF?????????
My fiancee is normally quite sharp but she does let it slip a little sometimes
Her: you want oat from the shop?
Me: a paper, sun or daily star
Her: doest daily star only come out on a saturday?
Me: WTF?????????
24-07-2008, 10:33 AM
#49
PassionFord Post Whore!!
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I've had a couple of classic's.
Once while flying home from gran canaria going past portugal looking out window we were chatting about a bridge she knew in the area we were looking at. " I said that one down there with the bloke with red cap on walking " She lean't over and said " where " we were 35000 ft up in the air
Another was at xmas time walking through the town centre. Noticed some nice xmas lights strung across the strret above us and she piped up with " wot the fook have camels got to do with xmas "
Once while flying home from gran canaria going past portugal looking out window we were chatting about a bridge she knew in the area we were looking at. " I said that one down there with the bloke with red cap on walking " She lean't over and said " where " we were 35000 ft up in the air
Another was at xmas time walking through the town centre. Noticed some nice xmas lights strung across the strret above us and she piped up with " wot the fook have camels got to do with xmas "
24-07-2008, 11:33 AM
#52
she feels guilty she has bought herself yet another pair of foookin shoes yet another foookin handbag and a new frock in the sales,
to justify her guilt she buys him something ,cross wired the lot of them
oh look dear I have saved 50 pounds
hows that love
it was in the sales and it was reduced from 80 to 30 so i have saved 50
no you haven't dear you have wasted 30
NO i have saved 50
oh fook off you dumb thick bint
to justify her guilt she buys him something ,cross wired the lot of them
oh look dear I have saved 50 pounds
hows that love
it was in the sales and it was reduced from 80 to 30 so i have saved 50
no you haven't dear you have wasted 30
NO i have saved 50
oh fook off you dumb thick bint
24-07-2008, 12:46 PM
#53
between my mrs and my 3 sisters, there are sooo many stupid stories to remember, but one night me and the mrs where round my sisters house:
my mrs: so what did you do last night?
my sister: stayed in and watched a film
my mrs: any good?
my sister: yeah , real good, it was that one with Tom Hanks in
my mrs: oh yeah, which one?
my sister: think it was called paedophilia
my mrs: ooow not heard of that one
me: are you sure its not called philadelphia
my mrs: so what did you do last night?
my sister: stayed in and watched a film
my mrs: any good?
my sister: yeah , real good, it was that one with Tom Hanks in
my mrs: oh yeah, which one?
my sister: think it was called paedophilia
my mrs: ooow not heard of that one
me: are you sure its not called philadelphia
24-07-2008, 12:52 PM
#54
For Sale..Apply within.
My sister comes out with some classics...Whe we were on holiday she was only about 12 at the time and was spending a lot of time in those kid clubs...one of the "entertainers" twisted her neck and her muscles were spasming.
Later on at dinner...Katie told the whole restaurant that Heike (the entertainer) was not here tonight cause she was having orgasms.
Oh, and now shes 19...she asked the other day if Spain was in europe.
Later on at dinner...Katie told the whole restaurant that Heike (the entertainer) was not here tonight cause she was having orgasms.
Oh, and now shes 19...she asked the other day if Spain was in europe.
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