Chavs and a £400 pussy
01-03-2008, 12:02 PM
#1
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Chavs and a £400 pussy
i took my misses, my best mate and her hubby out to a pink floyd tribute concert last night, then we got a chinky. had a good time.
my mate was driving us, as they had to go home anyway (so i could drink.)
i live on a side road off of a busy bypass A road, so its a fast 60mph road. it was 11pm we were doing 50, and indicated at 100yds to turn right.
there was this c£@k right up our asre for about a mile. i assumed it was a bmw (sorry bm owners but you know the sort of person i mean) and when we slowed to turn right he tried to over take, nearly got level but there was an oncoming car.
so my mate had to put his foot down to enable the T"*t to get back in behind us, or we would have all been fooked.
as we pulled into the next lay by to turn around he accererated past us, beeping his horn flashing main beam, giving it the w@$ker sign.
AND TO OUR ABSOLUTE AMAZEMENT AND A MOMENT OF PURE COMEDY GENIUS. SLOWLY "ACCELERATING"/FARTING PAST US WAS A................
1999 1.3 SILVER VAUXHALL VECTRA, WITH BLACKED BUBBLED WINDOWS AN IRONING BOARD ON THE BOOT AND SOME SNOW PLOUGHS FOR BUMPERS.
MY MATE DRIVING TURNED TO US, PAUSED AND SAID VERY SERIOUSLY "THAT EXPLAINS IT".
chavs hey!?
Oh and Em if your reading this, im glad you like my misses pussy, it cost me a lot of money, but its what she wanted.
Thanks for teaching me how to control it properly. It wouldnt do anything i told it to do, untill you explained i had to put more effort and patience in to it.
heres a pic before......................
and after
my mate was driving us, as they had to go home anyway (so i could drink.)
i live on a side road off of a busy bypass A road, so its a fast 60mph road. it was 11pm we were doing 50, and indicated at 100yds to turn right.
there was this c£@k right up our asre for about a mile. i assumed it was a bmw (sorry bm owners but you know the sort of person i mean) and when we slowed to turn right he tried to over take, nearly got level but there was an oncoming car.
so my mate had to put his foot down to enable the T"*t to get back in behind us, or we would have all been fooked.
as we pulled into the next lay by to turn around he accererated past us, beeping his horn flashing main beam, giving it the w@$ker sign.
AND TO OUR ABSOLUTE AMAZEMENT AND A MOMENT OF PURE COMEDY GENIUS. SLOWLY "ACCELERATING"/FARTING PAST US WAS A................
1999 1.3 SILVER VAUXHALL VECTRA, WITH BLACKED BUBBLED WINDOWS AN IRONING BOARD ON THE BOOT AND SOME SNOW PLOUGHS FOR BUMPERS.
MY MATE DRIVING TURNED TO US, PAUSED AND SAID VERY SERIOUSLY "THAT EXPLAINS IT".
chavs hey!?
Oh and Em if your reading this, im glad you like my misses pussy, it cost me a lot of money, but its what she wanted.
Thanks for teaching me how to control it properly. It wouldnt do anything i told it to do, untill you explained i had to put more effort and patience in to it.
heres a pic before......................
and after
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01-03-2008, 02:38 PM
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Shizzle My Nizzle
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well my mate driving is a mechanic and he thought it was a 1.3. it deffo wernt anything more than 1.4. i could run faster whilst making the same farting noise.
cheers glad you like my misses pussy, it cost enough. i had to buy it for her to justifiy buying my escort cosworth!
cheers glad you like my misses pussy, it cost enough. i had to buy it for her to justifiy buying my escort cosworth!
Last edited by Lee Ivatt; 01-03-2008 at 04:21 PM.
01-03-2008, 03:13 PM
#10
3dr Cosworth owner
You sure it was a vectra, I used to work at a vauxhall main dealer and the smallest engine vectra they did was a 1.6 8 valve.
Just saying
Cheers
Just saying
Cheers
Last edited by CosworthGuy; 01-03-2008 at 03:13 PM. Reason: spelling
01-03-2008, 04:18 PM
#14
Shizzle My Nizzle
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No hes an essex ford technition, anyway who cares its was a shitty vaxuhall anyway
duno, it was a late ninties vauxhall of some sort, vectra, or astra, all the same to me? i dont like vaxuhalls, so never paid intrest to them, i have a mate who has a nova hes spent thousands on it, and as im a ford man weve alyaws had this banter war.
as for pussy its a Maine Coon, its dad is the same size as my mates staff bull terrier!!! so im a bit wary of it, imagine it in the first pic the size of a staff!!!
11 month old cat with some bloke
another evil maine coon kitten
duno, it was a late ninties vauxhall of some sort, vectra, or astra, all the same to me? i dont like vaxuhalls, so never paid intrest to them, i have a mate who has a nova hes spent thousands on it, and as im a ford man weve alyaws had this banter war.
as for pussy its a Maine Coon, its dad is the same size as my mates staff bull terrier!!! so im a bit wary of it, imagine it in the first pic the size of a staff!!!
11 month old cat with some bloke
another evil maine coon kitten
Last edited by Lee Ivatt; 01-03-2008 at 04:23 PM.
01-03-2008, 04:52 PM
#18
Maine Coons and Norgegians evolved from the same breed in the arctic allegedly - one went south to Maine, one south to Norway.
Mines pretty big too:
Leo is the worlds biggest cat and a maine coon:
http://www.verismocat.com/htmscripts/leo-guinness.htm
Mines pretty big too:
Leo is the worlds biggest cat and a maine coon:
http://www.verismocat.com/htmscripts/leo-guinness.htm
01-03-2008, 05:01 PM
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I've got a maine coon and he's pretty big, very long! Looks similar to that white one but with some beige patches. Will try find some pics.
He was quite unfriendly as a kitten but I think it's down to shyness, as he's really comfortable with my dad now (as he's 'his' cat), curls up on his lap and always wanting attention etc - although still quite hostile with strangers.
He was quite unfriendly as a kitten but I think it's down to shyness, as he's really comfortable with my dad now (as he's 'his' cat), curls up on his lap and always wanting attention etc - although still quite hostile with strangers.
01-03-2008, 06:50 PM
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at you Ged! 
01-03-2008, 08:24 PM
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He's lovely!
It'd be a nightmare if Zen had a brother lol, it's a mission trying to move him off the sofa/bed as he's so bloody heavy and strong! If he doesn't want to move he certainly makes it difficult lol. I'm sure you know what I mean!
It'd be a nightmare if Zen had a brother lol, it's a mission trying to move him off the sofa/bed as he's so bloody heavy and strong! If he doesn't want to move he certainly makes it difficult lol. I'm sure you know what I mean!
Luckily though, Ollie is a gentle giant. He may be the size of a dog (and behaves like it often) but the only one he bullies is his sister.
01-03-2008, 08:39 PM
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Ahh, that's sweet! Zen is very gentle too, don't think I've ever seen him with his claws out (except when he's out catching rabbits, crazy cat!) and also a mans cat, only really affectionate with my Dad.
We had 2 other cats (one recently died) both 'normal' breeds thus much smaller than Zen, the one that's still alive is always taunting him and trying to fight but Zen never rises to it, just gives him a look that says "I'm far too dignified for childish play" and bats him away with his giant paw! Quite sweet really lol.
How old is Ollie?
We had 2 other cats (one recently died) both 'normal' breeds thus much smaller than Zen, the one that's still alive is always taunting him and trying to fight but Zen never rises to it, just gives him a look that says "I'm far too dignified for childish play" and bats him away with his giant paw! Quite sweet really lol.
How old is Ollie?
01-03-2008, 08:45 PM
#29
Ollie is 5 now and his sister is 4. They do the "That's beneath me" look very well don't they. Don't think Ollie has ever scratched me really - just bats with his fluffy paws.
My ex was going to give them to the cats protection league when she got her dogs, but I happened to move out of renting into my own place so could have my cats back after having to leave them behind when I left her.
My ex was going to give them to the cats protection league when she got her dogs, but I happened to move out of renting into my own place so could have my cats back after having to leave them behind when I left her.
01-03-2008, 08:49 PM
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They are a bit bigger than norm cats. I got a fairly big ginger tom, but hes just a std moggy so not as big as those. What are their temperments like, what type of colours to they come in? mainly white i presume?
They go out like normal cats ok?
They go out like normal cats ok?
01-03-2008, 09:00 PM
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He's very independent (I know all cats are, but he's more so than other ones we've had), pretty quiet and keeps himself to himself. Like I said, he was quite shy as a kitten but never scared or skittish, and has become much more confident as he's got older (I think he's about 7 or 8 now.) He's fine with going out out, probably more so than our other cats.
Although he's not usually overly affectionate he does have his moments where he'll want to be stroked, and is very loyal and loving towards my dad who's the only one he sees all the time (we've all moved out lol). I think it's a case of building up trust with them.
Also, he's got a fairly 'superior' attitude a lot of the time! If the other cats or the dog annoy him, or when you want him to move, he manages a great look of disgust lol.
Not sure about colours, think it's fairly varied.
01-03-2008, 09:11 PM
#32
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i think they were quite right to give you abuse as you were obviously holding their faster superior car up by driving below the speed limit.
and im offended by your suggestion that bmw drivers are cocks.well not all of them . ive met one or 2 that are actually quite decent. no really i have.
and im offended by your suggestion that bmw drivers are cocks.well not all of them . ive met one or 2 that are actually quite decent. no really i have.
01-03-2008, 10:00 PM
#37
^^ Scruffy bugger!!!
Yeah, normal cat food. Wet meaty stuff from a tin and go-cat dry stuff is always out too. He does eat anything you give him though (or he steals) including chips, curry sauce, pork pie pastry, and the odd biscuit. Cat dustbin basically lol
It can be annoying in the kitchen as he can stand on his back legs and reach onto the worktop to nab things. Have to keep it away from the edge..lol
Yeah, normal cat food. Wet meaty stuff from a tin and go-cat dry stuff is always out too. He does eat anything you give him though (or he steals) including chips, curry sauce, pork pie pastry, and the odd biscuit. Cat dustbin basically lol
It can be annoying in the kitchen as he can stand on his back legs and reach onto the worktop to nab things. Have to keep it away from the edge..lol
01-03-2008, 11:45 PM
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cool cats the maine coon, grow huge around 10kg!!
they sell special cat food for the maine coon as they are such a big breed and could do with the extra nutrition.
btw that cat looks really ill, lol
they sell special cat food for the maine coon as they are such a big breed and could do with the extra nutrition.
btw that cat looks really ill, lol
