joke...
A woman takes an innocent boy home for sex as asks him for a 69, "What's that?" says the boy, she tells him "you put your head between my legs and I do the same to you". Whilst doing it she farts, she says "sorry, let's try again", she farts again, he gets up and starts to dress, she asks "what are you doing?" He replies......
"I'm not hanging around for another 67 of them"!
"I'm not hanging around for another 67 of them"!
That was in an old song by the macc lads, called "bloik"
Along with some other classics, like the chat up line
"Do you fancy going halves on a bastard?"
Along with some other classics, like the chat up line
"Do you fancy going halves on a bastard?"

Yaaaaaaaaaw!
Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on,
Always dickin' prattin',
Looked like a reuseable tampon.
Tried to chat the birds up,
He'd always end up bleedin',
It's tough when you come from Bollington,
It's all the interbreeding.
Sunglasses in the evening,
Umbrellas in his bitter.
"Excuse me Mrs. Woman, do you take it up the sh*tter?"
Guess what in the pint pot?
Size ten in the dick,
It's best to take those glasses off when your chatting up Stez Styx.
Do you fancy going halves on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
So Dick Head went to Soho,
And he paid for a 69,
"Gissus the beads up front love,
You'd better not waste me time."
The wh*re had had beans for dinner,
She farted up his nose,
He said, "I'm not payin' knacker's head for sixty-nine of those!"
Do you fancy going havels on a bastard,
Do you want another packet of crisps?
Or what about a bag of pork scatchings?
Do you mind if I just weigh up your tits...
Whheey!
Heavy Metal.
Do you fancy going havles on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on,
Always dickin' prattin',
Looked like a reuseable tampon.
Tried to chat the birds up,
He'd always end up bleedin',
It's tough when you come from Bollington,
It's all the interbreeding.
Sunglasses in the evening,
Umbrellas in his bitter.
"Excuse me Mrs. Woman, do you take it up the sh*tter?"
Guess what in the pint pot?
Size ten in the dick,
It's best to take those glasses off when your chatting up Stez Styx.
Do you fancy going halves on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
So Dick Head went to Soho,
And he paid for a 69,
"Gissus the beads up front love,
You'd better not waste me time."
The wh*re had had beans for dinner,
She farted up his nose,
He said, "I'm not payin' knacker's head for sixty-nine of those!"
Do you fancy going havels on a bastard,
Do you want another packet of crisps?
Or what about a bag of pork scatchings?
Do you mind if I just weigh up your tits...
Whheey!
Heavy Metal.
Do you fancy going havles on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
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Originally Posted by Chip-3Door
That was in an old song by the macc lads, called "bloik"
Along with some other classics, like the chat up line
"Do you fancy going halves on a bastard?"
Along with some other classics, like the chat up line
"Do you fancy going halves on a bastard?"

Yaaaaaaaaaw!
Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on,
Always dickin' prattin',
Looked like a reuseable tampon.
Tried to chat the birds up,
He'd always end up bleedin',
It's tough when you come from Bollington,
It's all the interbreeding.
Sunglasses in the evening,
Umbrellas in his bitter.
"Excuse me Mrs. Woman, do you take it up the sh*tter?"
Guess what in the pint pot?
Size ten in the dick,
It's best to take those glasses off when your chatting up Stez Styx.
Do you fancy going halves on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
So Dick Head went to Soho,
And he paid for a 69,
"Gissus the beads up front love,
You'd better not waste me time."
The wh*re had had beans for dinner,
She farted up his nose,
He said, "I'm not payin' knacker's head for sixty-nine of those!"
Do you fancy going havels on a bastard,
Do you want another packet of crisps?
Or what about a bag of pork scatchings?
Do you mind if I just weigh up your tits...
Whheey!
Heavy Metal.
Do you fancy going havles on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on,
Always dickin' prattin',
Looked like a reuseable tampon.
Tried to chat the birds up,
He'd always end up bleedin',
It's tough when you come from Bollington,
It's all the interbreeding.
Sunglasses in the evening,
Umbrellas in his bitter.
"Excuse me Mrs. Woman, do you take it up the sh*tter?"
Guess what in the pint pot?
Size ten in the dick,
It's best to take those glasses off when your chatting up Stez Styx.
Do you fancy going halves on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
So Dick Head went to Soho,
And he paid for a 69,
"Gissus the beads up front love,
You'd better not waste me time."
The wh*re had had beans for dinner,
She farted up his nose,
He said, "I'm not payin' knacker's head for sixty-nine of those!"
Do you fancy going havels on a bastard,
Do you want another packet of crisps?
Or what about a bag of pork scatchings?
Do you mind if I just weigh up your tits...
Whheey!
Heavy Metal.
Do you fancy going havles on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
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