combi van man

more prick than a second hand dartboard.

she will have to put a bra on b4 her tights or she'll tuck her tits in.

Stu.H

face like the back end of a bus

combi van man

look at the monkey's fore head on that

dave_20

i have a turtles head sticking out

am touching cloth

your as much use as a fart in a space suit

i carnt think of any more but i do call every one i know jim inc my girl friend and every one call me jim too bit confusing when theres a few of you lol

percybigun

she had a clout like a glove, i tell a lie you can only get 5 fingers in a glove

clowns pocket

face like a pirates flag

face like a pound of smacked twat

go and take your face for a shit

Bullett

iTrader: (2)

lol at some of these.


to go with the usual left handed screwdriver etc,

you have the good old bag of sky hooks
a bag of grinding sparks



and you have , she had a cunt like a bulldog eating custard


more cheek than a cow's got arse
more sauce than hp


many more but ive gone brain dead

arch

"I've got a bungles finger"

"The tips dry"

"Dryer than a nuns c@@t"

biglee

your bird is so fat you had to roll her in flour and look for a wet patch

mercury grey minter

She's so ugly that when she goes out drinking,she spikes her own drink.

coco16i

She had a face like a welders bench !!

Her face was like a german's wallet.... full of marks !!

She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle !!!

Porkie

iTrader: (1)

She's dirtier than a rallycars wheelarch

she's as game as a Pheasant pate sandwhich

She goes over like bamby or ice (or a puppy on lino)

Luca

iTrader: (2)

She is gonna have a hissie fit

She looks like a unmade bed

The face that launch a thousand ships

fish99

He's more camp then a row of pink tents


He's not gay but his husband is

As much use as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear

About as useful as a handbrake on a canoe

About as useful as a helicopter ejector seat

neilm

I think I know her !!

dvid

As much use as a pork chop at a jewish wedding

As much use as a crutch on casters

Minge / Arse like a wizards sleeve

Minge / Arse like a Hippos yawn

Minge / Arse like a welly top

Minge / Arse like a miners sock

gkandr4ch

Now this is a good one, Graceland will like this.

Chernobyl Hilton!

Lo@der

iTrader: (8)

real tears at this thread.

Cunt like a clown's pocket.

Face like a melted welly.

She'd make an onion cry.

She's got a face like two pigs fuckin.

charlie luciano

iTrader: (3)

The best thing since sliced cheese

He/she's so skinny, there's more cusioning on a gnat's pillow,

as dead as Dillinger,

flat as a pancake

harded than a coffin nail,

He/she's so fat, by the times he/she's turned around its her birthday again


Luciano

smitsturbo

she's that fat her belt size is the equater

she's so fat she fell in the grand canyon & got stuck

tell your mum to stop changing her lipstick cos my cocks starting to look like a rainbow

foreigneRS

when your mouth is all dry - my gob is like ghandi's flip-flop

i made one up the other day. when your arse hair is all clagged up - it's like shitting through a doormat

pollocks

its like throwing a welly down the side of a house .........

xr-stu

bet she has to run around in the shower to get wet

(copyright doug sterling 2007 )

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Funnier still cause he said it directly to her

smitsturbo

when somebody breaks things all the time there called prossie fingers cos everything they touch, fucks

Stu.H

cunt like a wizards sleeve

"its like throwing a sausage into merry hill" (a big shopping centre by me)

filthyrichie

as thick as 2 short planks

TURBOGAZ

more time off than john wayne's safty catch

madder than a bottle of chips

madder than a ships cat drinking sea water.

charlie luciano

iTrader: (3)

Its like trying to piss in the wind and not get it on ya leg

Couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo

Luciano

AndyShep

As bent as an arabs dagger.

AWK-53

What on earth are you going to do for a face when Jabba the Hutt wants his arse back?

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given worse advice!

Save your breath....you'll need it to blow up your date!

Which village is missing it's idiot?

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

You're as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar!

Too many freaks, not enough circuses!

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce!

Were you delivered with a sorry note from Durex?

I've seen better teeth on a worn out gearbox!

BRIGSPORT

iTrader: (2)

Good for this time of year;
It's like pearl harbour out side......................theres a fookin nip in the air!

AndyShep

She has seen more action than rambo

she has seen more cockends than weekends

she has seen more gerry helmets than hitler

you have a face lester piggot could,nt stop hitting

last time you pulled money out your pocket the queen was rubbing her eyes she was in there that long.

cheeky dog

solar powered tourch if it hasn't been said

combi van man

more mouth than cow's got

your in me boat race (face)

put me nanny goat on (coat)

its in me sky rocket (Pocket)

looks like she's bin hit with a axe

she got a wizards beard growing there

AndyShep

As queer as a bottle of crisps

Sweating like a pedo teacher on parents night

your that big your photo was took from a heilcopter

focus 4x4

Her minge was so big , it was like throwing a sausage up the high street !

focus 4x4

She was so fat she used a boomerang to put a belt on!

AndyShep

Her fanny was that big i had to tie my arse to the back end of the house.

AndyShep

Some of the stuff posted is great you would have to be as hard as a whores heart to get away with these