Chip

iTrader: (3)

Being caught not speeding

just had an interesting chat with one of East Sussex's finest police officers - let's call him officer Dibble

The discussion went something like this

Dibble "good afternoon sir, is this your car"

me "yes, why have you stopped me?"

Dibble "How fast were you driving just before we stopped you?"

me "about 55/60mph"

Dibble "Actually it was 58mph, are you aware of the speed limit?

me "yes"

Dibble "then why were you going nearly 20 mph over the limit?" (at which point a lecture about the danger of speeding, failing to respond to road signs, how it was a country road etc etc etc)

me "sorry but are you aware that this section of the road is national speed limit?"

Dibble "no it's not. It is a 40 mph zone, the signs are back there"

me "so what about that sign I passed saying it was no longer a 40 zone but national limit?"

Dibble "there is no sign"

me "let's go back and have a look shall we?"

Dibble "there's no need, we clearly saw the 40 mph signs"

me "you are not local are you?"

Dibble, "no we are from Heathfield (about 20 miles away) but that doesn't
make any difference. You were still exceeding the speed limit"

me "If you were local you would know about the national limit sign on the post which is kind of hard to see since the council put a sign up which almost hides it"

Dibble "well we didn't see it"

me "does that mean it's not there then?"

Dibble "no, but it does mean that in our opinion you were speeding"

me "so you are going to give me a ticket for doing 58mph in a 60 mph zone because you didn't see the sign? Who's going to ring the local papers - you or me?"

Dibble "don't get sarcastic with me"

me "shall we go back and have a look at that sign now?"

Dibble "no I'll wait here with you and my partner will go back and check"

me "I'll lock my car up and we can all go back together - I can show you where the sign is then"

Dibble "do you think we are incapable of seeing a sign at the side of the road?"

me "I'm not going to answer that one because you'll probably accuse me of being sarcastic.........but isn't that why you stopped me in the first place"

Dibble then went to his car and sent his mate off to have a look, 2 minutes later he's back and the two of them are having a bit of a chat

Dibble "You are half right, there is a sign there but because it's partly obscured by other signage and the hedge then it doesn't apply"

me "you've just made that up haven't you?"

Dibble "no that's how it works so although the sign is there because you can't see it then it doesn't apply so you were speeding"

me " I did see it, that's why I accelerated from 40 mph to 60 mph, it was you that didn't see it which is why you stopped me for not speeding"

Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"

me "so if I were going the other way and didn't slow down for the 40mph sign which is actually partly hidden in the hedge at the moment I could use this argument and quote you to avoid getting nicked - would you write it down for me along with your name and number?"

Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"

me "Look this is going nowhere, either give me a ticket for speeding or let me go home"

I then got a pen out of my car door pocket and started to write down his number

Dibble "what are you doing"

me "without wishing to sound even slightly sarcastic, I'm writing down your number so that I can report you"

Dibble "OK, go on then, carry on, go home or wherever you were going just don't do it again"

me "don't do what again?"

Dibble - no answer just got in his car and they drove off

TIFF

Nice one Chip........They fucking hate it when they are wrong

The Youth.

iTrader: (1)

quality answers

steve

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

I didn't read the title properly.., and as I was reading it I had Chip's voice in my head, in his sarcasitc manner

Sure it wasn't you Chip?

twinkle_2k86

made up or not, thats a funny read that

Rolls

iTrader: (2)

Superb!

Cawood

fuckin ell, what a grade A plank what an idiot

report the fucker anyway for being a tool

GARETH T

his numbers will be marked

Stephen_B

Its made Up. There is nothing to report.

Take it down a notch

Cawood

nope im the tool, dint read it properly, though you'd been pulled chip

Chip

iTrader: (3)

No mate, I dont even know if its real or not.


Although I did personally have a similar incident where I got told off for not having my hands on the wheel, and he hadnt noticed it was a LHD car

Cawood

lol yep just re-read it

Fudgey

iTrader: (4)

i once got accused of speeding when i was doing 30 in a 40

he asked how fast i was going, i say 30, he said yes i was and did i know the limit..

i reply with well i guess its 30 then, he says no its 40... so i say, your telling me im speeding for doing 30 in a 40?

cunt, told him to do one and drove off

dojj

iTrader: (3)

heard the one about driving dangerouly because the bonnet is black and the car is moonstone?

or

"your car sounds too loud, you must have been speeding" whilst stopped at a zebra crossing?

or

"is this your car sir?"
"why yes officer, don't you remember coming out last night to my house when i called you to report someone trying to steal it?"

cunts, the lot of them

1feathers

if true then what a twat

fish99

hhhmmmmm out comes the asp smash a headlight .. defective lighting there sonny... take that you sarcastic bstard...... haha only joking.

I had to cringe once when my mate tried to stick on a driver for going down a bus lane that wasnt in force... you should have seen his face when he looked at the sign... i laughed my tits off


I got pulled over once and got out of my car and they tried sticking me on for leaving my vehicle running whilst unattended.


There are some clowns out there

vroooom ptssssh

Belter either way!

Their must be so many cock ups what with all these new young recruits trying to get their first catch etc

addiction

i got stopped once for doing 15 in a 30 zone!! the copper said that i wasnt speeding but i should be aware that old people's perception of speed is different to that of younger people's!!
he then got quite arsey when i asked him to stop leaning on my 3/4 open window and told me he'd be watching me!!

dave cos4x4

iTrader: (5)

Moonie

I remember when i rolled my car a few years ago.

One of the Police officers that turned up said i had slid along way from the marks on the kerb to the point my car come to rest on its roof.

My reply was that my brakes didnt work too well when i was upside down.

matts1

dojj

iTrader: (3)

Moonie

quality reply

Series1Dry

Quality read that. Wish it happened to me, would fooking love that . The answers are exactly what i would give

smitsturbo

superb story but sounds just like the babylon nowadays

i remember a tv programme about traffic wardens & they done a lad for being on double yellow lines but let a guy off a bit up the road cos the lines where faided

Carlsworth

but let a guy off a bit up the road cos the lines where faided


myself, my old boss, and the van driver had parking tickets quashed after sending photographic evidence that yellow lines were faded

XRT_si

iTrader: (2)

Superb