Anonymous

if i and my dad (marine comando so trained killer in a courts POV ???) batter the fuck out of 3 people who last nite threw 2 fish (yes, fish) at our front windows and then later on threw 3 eggs at the rear ones, with enough force to make a big bang noise ???


we havent done it yet but we got the bats by the front door waiting for them to come back. or shall we just call the police ? the chances of the police coming for that on xmas is slim to none in a rural place like here...

SS1

iTrader: (3)

put the chip pan on

free fish is always a bonus

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

I know what i'd do


And if your dad is a marine, Why would he wanna use a bat

MadMac

Fuckers, just ring the cops, then if you happen to get in an argument and happen to have a fight then you can say, "we called, but the cops didn't arrive in time and you was acting in self defense"

Just dont kill em

timrud

Yes, calling the police is deffo a good idea. Nothing to stop them scum calling the police after you have paggered them, then your the bad guys.

morcheen

but why did they throw some fish fingers at your door?? did you bait them? are you the codfather ? report it to the old bill,just to cover yourselves.find out who they are and where they live,and repay them with a few tons of manure

pee vee

Because you have waited and planned it,

that gives you Malicious intent....
make no mistake, Jail is a definite possibility.. especially if you go at them with weapons





if you had done a john Prescott and lamped them just as they threw the Egg,
then it was heat of the moment and you'd get away with it

RST

iTrader: (3)

Kop2381

R5FORD

iTrader: (1)

call police n then smash them 1

ricky_3dr

Your old man should know better just grow the fuck up and let the Police do what we pay em to do

dave cos4x4

iTrader: (5)

i know what i would do.

turbo1973

Eagle

iTrader: (2)

what he said ..

Benni

Get some of the boys round... If there busy i'm always happy to come and see to the fish meself. But for the love of god dont let it go to waste. And if you call the police make sure they send round some coppers that haven't already eaten.

Altough if i'm honest the whole story sounds a bit 'Fishy' If you ask me.

crash_ash

is your dad steven segal?

timrud

I don't think it makes one jot of difference to the court if your a "trained killer" either.

If you duff somebody up, its hardly an aggrivating feature, unlike kicking somebody on the floor, which is bad.

dojj

iTrader: (3)

call police when they they return
capture them so that you can hand them over to the police
express your wishes to have them doen for breaking and entering with intent (they have obviously tested the waters to see if there was anyone at home and if they came back it's because they will think no one is at home)
if they happen to suffer an injury while you are trying to capture them then, as long as it's in self defence, there isn't a lot you can do about it

on the other hand, from the story my old man and those who knew my grandad used to tell, living in the sticks and on farmland meant that the crooks tended not to bother you again, with the benifits of producing exllecent fertiliser

stevieturbo

Until they actually threaten you with violence...capturing etc may not be a smart move. they could try and nab you for false imprisonment.

And aside from a possible Monty Python sketch, throwing fish at your house, while I'm sure its annoying, is hardly threatening your safety in any way, that would warrant self defence tactics.

Lee Reynolds

just go get them Secretly...Why announce its you?

dave cos4x4

iTrader: (5)

i'm sure your dad could sneak up on them.

Lee Reynolds

mince couldnt Dave, His leg caliper would squeek bless him

Zetec Andy

Buy one of these for the garden...






But personally id just put it down to pissed up kids walking home, doubt it will happen again, if it does wait for them and kick fuck out of em

Thrush

iTrader: (1)

Add to the fact that you opendly posted on a public internet forum that you have thought about it, planned it, and considered the legal rammifications - I'd say you'd get fucked

timrud

Infact there is already enough for a conspiracy charge, somebody phone the police quick

sedan man

fookin pmsl

geoffxr4

Sounds like just drunk kids messing around. Doubt beating them into a pulp wld be a wise career move

allsteel

Don't bother with bats or you could do time.Just give them a good old fashioned kicking instead.

Anonymous

if its kids why is our house the only one on a culdesac of 6 that face the mainroad, the only one to be targeted ?

the eggs seem to have been thrown from the main road, we live opposite the petrol station in east taphouse for those of you who know the place.

so they take the time to go to my house, lob 2 fish at the front window (im guessing they were gonna put it through the letterbox we just happened to turn the tv off at the right time?) then 3 hours later lobb 3 eggs at the back of the house ?

they aint come back yet.

gonna check if the petrol station has it on cctv tommorow.

KregRS

Guessing this was late night? Begs the question, why would anyone have 2 fish on them at that time of night? Hardly the usual going on the piss accesories is it? Got my fags, got my wallet, got my fish.... Time to party!

Katie

A marine armed with a weapon is unneccesary force..

I could hit somebody with a baseball bat and claim I was so small I needed that bat for reasonable force...but if a marine hits someone with a bat it's not going to cut it really is it.
''Yeh I was trained for front line combat but to be honest the guy was at least 5'6'' and he had both of his arms and legs so I wasn't sure if I'd have been able to commit pre-meditated GBH without this weapon''..



I wouldn't...just keep the fish a few weeks then send it back all wrapped up with bows on through their letterbox

''You lost these near our house, haven't had chance to bring them back thus far as we forgot about them. This morning though the smell reminded us, Hope you didn't miss them too much, Happy New Year!!''

Ginge !

the fuckers in pool are nutters,,,,, someone throws a fish and in return the other side throw granades through the window,,,,, unless they REALLY wanna get back at em and they just cut the foot off one of there youngest for a 5k randsom


dont take advice from that fucking mental place,,,,,


id say really fuck em of and NEXT time lob water bombs full of tartare sauce at em,,,,, confuse the shite out of em


i had a fight on the underground when i was 18 and i shite you not that the bloke who started on me and i overcame him retaliated buy opening a jar of mustard and throwing mustard on me,,,,,,,,, seriously aint got a clue where that came from but its hard to fight a person whos trying to do you over with colemans,,,,,

worst thing is i was off out for a night and explaining why my ben sherman has yellow stains over it and everyone one said i was making the story up

WHO THE FUCK COULD EVEN THINK OF MAKING UP A STORY ABOUT HAVING A FIGHT ON THE UNDERGROUND AND THE BLOKE THREW MUSTARD AT ME,,,,,,,, WHO WOULD FUCKING BE DUMB ENOUGH TO SAY THAT UNLESS IT REALLY HAPPNED FFS


just like fish at the windows

eggs are anyoying but maybe the fish was a smelly idea

stevieturbo

If you are carrying a weapon, ANY weapon, it is pre-meditated.

Otherwise you wouldnt be carrying that weapon in the first place. Doesnt matter how big or small you are.

Katie

An engineer with a heavy maglite in their hand is not carrying a weapon of ''pre-meditated'' status, if they needed that for their work whilst working. If you can argue you would otherwise have had that item were it not for the confrontation, you have an arguable defence...it was an item ''to hand'' reasonably at the sight of confrontation.

Many a hypothetical case has been argued where golfers have a fight in the clubhouse resulting in damage to property/injury by a golf club, often considered not as pre-meditated as the clubs would already have been there. Very interesting topic that nobody but me cares about so shutting up

Ginge !

katie does that mean i can carry a gun aslong as im on my way to my gun club,,,,,,, cool

got the sword as i got judo lessons after work too


but sorry officer buy ive no excuse for carrying them eggs,,,,,,its a fair cop gov

RS_Ant

Id tie them up and make them eat the fish, RAW of course

Katie

It's all a question of reasonability...it's never really going to be reasonable to stab or shoot someone unless it was some sort of car park stand off at the fencing club in the leisure centre

Ginge !

so katie what your sugesting is kill them then body dump,,,,,, ill remember that


if not ill tell them i slept with there dad so they chase me to the local judo class THEN chop them up into little peices

Katie

I wouldn't trust anything I say, I'm a student..I only learn from notes I write myself or copy from somebody next to me if they've used some long words or something latin

Ginge !

looks like my neighbour will live for a few extra weeks then