[Lets Talk] Birth To present day. Your Highs and Lows...
13-12-2006, 08:59 PM
#81
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Top thread 
Reassuring to hear that no matter what you're going through there are others out there who are fighting similar battles. When you sometime think you're alone you are in fact in the company of many other brave souls. Life can be hard but with friends it seems so much easier. Rock on peeps.
Reassuring to hear that no matter what you're going through there are others out there who are fighting similar battles. When you sometime think you're alone you are in fact in the company of many other brave souls. Life can be hard but with friends it seems so much easier. Rock on peeps.
26-12-2006, 03:43 PM
#84
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May 1985 - Born
I don't know the exact dates:
In my first year - rushed into hospital with possible brain damage due to a very violent allergic reaction to some of my vaccination jabs.
Dad diagnosed with heart problems.
Grandfather diagnosed with cancer.
September 1989 - Started school and got bullied pretty much from day 1.
January 1991 - Dad died from his heart problems - felt confused more than anything else, didn't know why this had happened - thought it was a mistake and that he'd come back soon...
Grandfather died from Cancer around the same time - my mum was totally devastated as she'd lost her dad and her husband and with me being an only child it was just 'us'.
September 1992 - Started 'proper school' - unfortunately the bullies followed me and life got no easier. They found that the death of my dad was a weak point and really used it on me. Ended up as a bit of geek hiding away from people...
Carried on through my school days and discovered that design and technology were a strong point but that sport wasn't...
September 1996 - Started 'big school' - again the bullies followed me...
Summer 1998 - Joined the Army Cadet Force - a completely fresh start, nobody knew me, nobody judged me and i made a whole new group of friends straight away. This became my escape and the hell i experienced at school was balanced by the happiness i found 2 nights a week and every other weekend with the cadets.
Mid 1999 - Realised that i was 14, i was a big lad for my age and that in the cadets people respected me and that at school they didn't. Decided to do something about it and the next time someone bullied me at school i kicked fuck out of them. Wasn't a particularly sensible idea as there was 1 of me and 4 of them... But i went for it and went down fighting...
Stupid a move as it was, it helped. The bullying slowed down and eventually stopped. Life started to get better. I still enjoyed my time in the cadets more than anything else and decided that i wanted to go into the Army. Made my application for Welbeck College, the Armys' 6th Form College and from 3000 applicants got down to the last 100. Attended the selection process for 3 days and having got through everything else, dislocated my shoulder on the assualt course, the final step.
My application was declined for that reason alone and i was gutted. All i'd wanted to do and it was all over.
September 2001 - Passed my GCSE's with 1 A, 6 B's, 1 C and 1 D - decided to go back for 6th form and then reapply for the Army once i'd done my A levels.
May 2002 - Diagnosed with Glandular Fever and had to leave school. Walked into the Army Careers Office and said i wanted to join, was told i couldn't because i needed to be clear for 18months after the fever...
Did a few odd jobs like labouring on a building site, working as a joiners mate etc.
July 2002 - Started working for an agency doing temp work to allow me more time in the gym to get my fitness back up... Started working for Abbey National doing mortgage stuff.
August 2002 - Really started to get into my cars and attended Ultimate Street Car at the pod - spent 90% of the weekend sat watching the drag racing being fascinated about how quick some of the cars were - real curiosity set in...
November 2002 - Passed my driving test first time
this new found independance was the single greatest thing that had happened to me yet!
Bought my first car - a Fiat Punto 55S - nothing special but was my learning ground and immediately set to modifying it
December 2002 - Met a girl in a nightclub, had an amazing evening with her and then got split up before i got her number - felt devastated.
January 2003 - Was telling a mate about this girl and told him her name, turns out he knew her and gave me her number, rang her, went out for a drink and ended up getting together with her. Everything seemed perfect, had my car, had a job, had a perfect girlfriend, good mates etc.
April 2003 - Split up with Hannah and hit a real low spot, she finished with me and never gave me a reason. That more than anything played with my head
May 2003 - My 18th - awesome night out that lasted 3 days and i remember thinking that things could only get better....
November 2003 - My first car was written off in a crash (not my fault!) and i bought a Focus and joined the Ford Focus Owners Club a short time later. Made a lot of really good mates through the FFOC and started to get more adventurous with my modding, both of my car and bits for other people...
Summer 2004 - Decided that i wanted to turn a hobby into a career and applied for the National College for Motorsport and was accepted. Left Abbey National and moved down south.
Autumn 2004 - Started at NCM and also working every Friday at Power Engineering with Chris Todd to get some experience under my belt.
January 2005 - Grandfather died of cancer - put a bit of a downer on what i thought were the start of some happy times...
Summer 2005 - Working for Power Engineering, ADR Engineering and WRC Technologies - all on a voluntary basis to get as much experience as i could as i finished my first year at college.
August 2005 - Found out i'd been successful in my application for an apprenticeship at BAR Honda F1. At the same time found out my gran who i was very close to was terminally ill.
September 2005 - Started apprenticeship in F1.
February 2006 - Apprenticeship starts to go wrong after problems with college course.
March 2006 - Gran died from cancer. Me and my mum totally gutted.
June 2006 - Grandmother died after being unwell for many years. Left me and my mum with two houses to clear and sort.
Complications with my apprenticeship left me only 8 days to do a years college work or i'd be dismissed.
Did a years work in 8 days
August 2006 - Met the guys from RC Developments while at TOTB V - after a long conversation a copy of my CV was sent.
September 2006 - Started at RC Developments as an apprentice technician and love it.
Now - Still at RC, still enjoying it but trying to bury the demons that i suffered from for the last 6 months of my time at Honda. Not sure i've got all the grieving out my system from my grandparents.
Trying to draw a line under everything and leave it all in 2006 and start 2007 with a positive attitude
I don't know the exact dates:
In my first year - rushed into hospital with possible brain damage due to a very violent allergic reaction to some of my vaccination jabs.
Dad diagnosed with heart problems.
Grandfather diagnosed with cancer.
September 1989 - Started school and got bullied pretty much from day 1.
January 1991 - Dad died from his heart problems - felt confused more than anything else, didn't know why this had happened - thought it was a mistake and that he'd come back soon...
Grandfather died from Cancer around the same time - my mum was totally devastated as she'd lost her dad and her husband and with me being an only child it was just 'us'.
September 1992 - Started 'proper school' - unfortunately the bullies followed me and life got no easier. They found that the death of my dad was a weak point and really used it on me. Ended up as a bit of geek hiding away from people...
Carried on through my school days and discovered that design and technology were a strong point but that sport wasn't...
September 1996 - Started 'big school' - again the bullies followed me...
Summer 1998 - Joined the Army Cadet Force - a completely fresh start, nobody knew me, nobody judged me and i made a whole new group of friends straight away. This became my escape and the hell i experienced at school was balanced by the happiness i found 2 nights a week and every other weekend with the cadets.
Mid 1999 - Realised that i was 14, i was a big lad for my age and that in the cadets people respected me and that at school they didn't. Decided to do something about it and the next time someone bullied me at school i kicked fuck out of them. Wasn't a particularly sensible idea as there was 1 of me and 4 of them... But i went for it and went down fighting...
Stupid a move as it was, it helped. The bullying slowed down and eventually stopped. Life started to get better. I still enjoyed my time in the cadets more than anything else and decided that i wanted to go into the Army. Made my application for Welbeck College, the Armys' 6th Form College and from 3000 applicants got down to the last 100. Attended the selection process for 3 days and having got through everything else, dislocated my shoulder on the assualt course, the final step.
My application was declined for that reason alone and i was gutted. All i'd wanted to do and it was all over.
September 2001 - Passed my GCSE's with 1 A, 6 B's, 1 C and 1 D - decided to go back for 6th form and then reapply for the Army once i'd done my A levels.
May 2002 - Diagnosed with Glandular Fever and had to leave school. Walked into the Army Careers Office and said i wanted to join, was told i couldn't because i needed to be clear for 18months after the fever...
Did a few odd jobs like labouring on a building site, working as a joiners mate etc.
July 2002 - Started working for an agency doing temp work to allow me more time in the gym to get my fitness back up... Started working for Abbey National doing mortgage stuff.
August 2002 - Really started to get into my cars and attended Ultimate Street Car at the pod - spent 90% of the weekend sat watching the drag racing being fascinated about how quick some of the cars were - real curiosity set in...
November 2002 - Passed my driving test first time
this new found independance was the single greatest thing that had happened to me yet! Bought my first car - a Fiat Punto 55S - nothing special but was my learning ground and immediately set to modifying it
December 2002 - Met a girl in a nightclub, had an amazing evening with her and then got split up before i got her number - felt devastated.
January 2003 - Was telling a mate about this girl and told him her name, turns out he knew her and gave me her number, rang her, went out for a drink and ended up getting together with her. Everything seemed perfect, had my car, had a job, had a perfect girlfriend, good mates etc.
April 2003 - Split up with Hannah and hit a real low spot, she finished with me and never gave me a reason. That more than anything played with my head
May 2003 - My 18th - awesome night out that lasted 3 days and i remember thinking that things could only get better....
November 2003 - My first car was written off in a crash (not my fault!) and i bought a Focus and joined the Ford Focus Owners Club a short time later. Made a lot of really good mates through the FFOC and started to get more adventurous with my modding, both of my car and bits for other people...
Summer 2004 - Decided that i wanted to turn a hobby into a career and applied for the National College for Motorsport and was accepted. Left Abbey National and moved down south.
Autumn 2004 - Started at NCM and also working every Friday at Power Engineering with Chris Todd to get some experience under my belt.
January 2005 - Grandfather died of cancer - put a bit of a downer on what i thought were the start of some happy times...
Summer 2005 - Working for Power Engineering, ADR Engineering and WRC Technologies - all on a voluntary basis to get as much experience as i could as i finished my first year at college.
August 2005 - Found out i'd been successful in my application for an apprenticeship at BAR Honda F1. At the same time found out my gran who i was very close to was terminally ill.
September 2005 - Started apprenticeship in F1.
February 2006 - Apprenticeship starts to go wrong after problems with college course.
March 2006 - Gran died from cancer. Me and my mum totally gutted.
June 2006 - Grandmother died after being unwell for many years. Left me and my mum with two houses to clear and sort.
Complications with my apprenticeship left me only 8 days to do a years college work or i'd be dismissed.
Did a years work in 8 days
August 2006 - Met the guys from RC Developments while at TOTB V - after a long conversation a copy of my CV was sent.
September 2006 - Started at RC Developments as an apprentice technician and love it.
Now - Still at RC, still enjoying it but trying to bury the demons that i suffered from for the last 6 months of my time at Honda. Not sure i've got all the grieving out my system from my grandparents.
Trying to draw a line under everything and leave it all in 2006 and start 2007 with a positive attitude
26-12-2006, 04:03 PM
#87
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Highs and lows, hmmmm
Born in 1975, can't remember much but I'm sure it must have been a high cos I'm still here
Broke my leg in 1992 which screwed my A levels up and I spent a year on crutches, that was pretty shit.
1999 I met Dawn who I've been with since. The longest 1 night stand of my life!!!
Highest day of my life, 26 September 2005 when my son was born. To this day nothing in my life has beaten that.
I'm not one for lows to be fair, I live everyday as it comes, enjoy it while it's hear and not worry about what's been and gone wrong
Born in 1975, can't remember much but I'm sure it must have been a high cos I'm still here
Broke my leg in 1992 which screwed my A levels up and I spent a year on crutches, that was pretty shit.
1999 I met Dawn who I've been with since. The longest 1 night stand of my life!!!
Highest day of my life, 26 September 2005 when my son was born. To this day nothing in my life has beaten that.
I'm not one for lows to be fair, I live everyday as it comes, enjoy it while it's hear and not worry about what's been and gone wrong
26-12-2006, 04:22 PM
#88
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Well i were a complete twat at school its got to be said.
Finished my apprenticeship to level 3 standards (i had to blag my way in lol)since then i have become a qualified MOT tester and start back next year as garage manager,i am now 24 and things are looking good,or at least as good as they can for a simple mechanic
Finished my apprenticeship to level 3 standards (i had to blag my way in lol)since then i have become a qualified MOT tester and start back next year as garage manager,i am now 24 and things are looking good,or at least as good as they can for a simple mechanic
26-12-2006, 05:07 PM
#90
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Originally Posted by Stu @ M Developments
Originally Posted by Big Will 85
I feel better for getting it all off my chest tho 
See you in the new year mate
26-12-2006, 05:25 PM
#91
PassionFord Post Troll
Dont want to bore you with the intricate details,
Born 1973
had a shit childhood, hated school, loved working at the local garage from the age of 10 though
Left school in 1988
Highest point, meeting my wife in 1992 who turned me around from a bit of a dosser into someone with a good job & good prospects.
Lowest point, 2004, loosing my wife after a long illness with a brain heamorage. i'm just starting to get my life back together but it still hurts real bad.
Born 1973
had a shit childhood, hated school, loved working at the local garage from the age of 10 though
Left school in 1988
Highest point, meeting my wife in 1992 who turned me around from a bit of a dosser into someone with a good job & good prospects.
Lowest point, 2004, loosing my wife after a long illness with a brain heamorage. i'm just starting to get my life back together but it still hurts real bad.
26-12-2006, 05:42 PM
#92
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i dont tend to post on here as much anymore but this subject interested me basically ive gone thru the last 25 yrs of my life with hang ups and issues about my parents divorce unbeknown to me until early this yr when my ex made a connection with my moods and fears etc and made me talk in detail with my dad at this toime i was sufferin with depression,was stuck in a un happy job which i hated and a bullying manager( soon shut him up but thats aonther story ) the downward spirral continued realised that yet again i was with someone i wasnt in love with and it was yet another disastorus relationship,i changed jobs and really settled,i looked forwrd to work went out and got another cossie joined the gym quit smokin everything was goin gret although still single i loved my life,respected myself for the first time ever and realised again prob for the first time i didnt need a g/f to share it with as i was content things were all great until just over a week ago when i lost a friend in a car crash he was a person who i had been spendin a lot of tme with and would of been counted as one of my best mates as over this yr ive realised there aint may people u cant trust and that are genuine but sam was deffo one of those and im not sure ill ever get over his death as ive taken it badly although its taught me live for today as u may not have tommorw i know next yr will be better and after a certain persons text on xmas day and what she said has made me look forward that aside i know this yr work wise i will be mnore succesful,i intend to save for a bigger home and rent this one out and my cossie will be finished to ar reasonable spec so roll on 2007 as i cant wait to close on 06
26-12-2006, 06:10 PM
#94
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
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Not a dig, just an honest opinion, ive always thought from reading some of your posts stu that youre a proper mardy wanker.
But from reading what you first posted there i can understand why, and relate to a lot of what you posted. not events that happened but just your outlook on life at the time, so maybe im also a mardy wanker
Ive been thinking, well 24/7 lately, im in a job i absolutely despise and really need to make a change. think im gonna retrain in something, get myself a trade. do something anyway. good thread, even if its just to see that someone has had the same thoughts in the past and its not just me.
But from reading what you first posted there i can understand why, and relate to a lot of what you posted. not events that happened but just your outlook on life at the time, so maybe im also a mardy wanker
Ive been thinking, well 24/7 lately, im in a job i absolutely despise and really need to make a change. think im gonna retrain in something, get myself a trade. do something anyway. good thread, even if its just to see that someone has had the same thoughts in the past and its not just me.
26-12-2006, 06:17 PM
#95
Originally Posted by XR-RS
Not a dig, just an honest opinion, ive always thought from reading some of your posts Stu that youre a proper mardy wanker.
26-12-2006, 06:26 PM
#96
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like i say no offence, just shooting from the hip. what you typed made me think though. i dont like talking to anyone about things generally, but some of what you said, was so similar i thought id reply. Maybe its a caffeine thing, i drink probably about 20 cups a day,lol.
Anyway, respect for how you turned your life around , just shows sometimes you form an opinion about people........and can be completely wrong 
Anyway, respect for how you turned your life around
, just shows sometimes you form an opinion about people........and can be completely wrong
26-12-2006, 06:36 PM
#98
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Originally Posted by The Diva
Originally Posted by Big Will 85
Trying to draw a line under everything and leave it all in 2006 and start 2007 with a positive attitude
Good lad Will...
Hope 2007 is a new start and an excellent year for you....
26-12-2006, 06:37 PM
#99
Originally Posted by XR-RS
like i say no offence, just shooting from the hip. what you typed made me think though. i dont like talking to anyone about things generally, but some of what you said, was so similar i thought id reply. Maybe its a caffeine thing, i drink probably about 20 cups a day,lol.
20cups a day eh? And when your out you buy Coke or Pepsi? Driving or in a pub and dont wanta drink you buy red bull perhaps?
That was me, you may well not be as bad, but its worth taking a quick look round teh net for evidence of what caffeine can do to some humans... heres a starter for anyone with "Restless Legs"
Restless legs is a syndrome whch may be associated with anxious - depressed as well as other clinical states. Dr. Lutz, in an article titled as above, suggest that this syndrome is primarily caused by caffeine. Anxiety is not a causative factor. Caffeine stimulates the nervous system and has a direct contractile ef. fect on striated muscle. This is reflected in anxiety, depression, insomnia: and the heightened proprioceptive awareness may result in restless legs. This manifestation consists.iof nervousness and movement of legs as a result of a distressing creeping sensation. Its symptoms are most obvious at night when the patient is trying to be still, and results in insomnia. Dr. Lutz describes cases of this disorder in detail and cites examples, all of which were alleviated when caffeine was removed from the diet. This condition has been attributed to many causes including psychiatric disturbinces, e.g. restless legs is a frequent symptom of hysteria, anxiety, depression. In periods of stress, "normal" persons are also afflicted. All of these states are associated with high central nervous system arousal. Also, rest. less legs syndrome, was first described in England at the time when coffee and tea first were introduced in the country. Thus, diagnosis of the restless legs syndrome, as has also been observed in certain psychological disorders, may simply be the result of overdosage of ubiquitous caffeine.
26-12-2006, 06:46 PM
#100
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
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Hmm
I didnt know caffeine could cause that, most nights my legs are so irritable i want to start punching them,lol. Maybe its a bloke thing, we dont talk so rarely ever encounter another male with similar experiences.
Anyway, dont wanna change the topic here.
I didnt know caffeine could cause that, most nights my legs are so irritable i want to start punching them,lol. Maybe its a bloke thing, we dont talk so rarely ever encounter another male with similar experiences.
Anyway, dont wanna change the topic here.
26-12-2006, 07:04 PM
#101
Originally Posted by XR-RS
most nights my legs are so irritable i want to start punching them,lol. Maybe its a bloke thing, we dont talk so rarely ever encounter another male with similar experiences.
Do some research fella, and 2007 could be a great year for you. I am only a PM away if you need any advice about it.
Back on topic.
26-12-2006, 07:12 PM
#102
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my life was cool up until:
1997 - age 17
Got into a lot of debt.
1998 - 99 - age 18/19
Battled with a serious smack addiction. I wont go into details but it wanst nice for anyone around me to deal with.
late 99 - 2000 - age 20
Met a lovely girl and beat my smack habit (never touched it since then! and never will do!)
2001 - age 21
That lovely girl turned out to be fucking psycho! Later in 2001 I met another lovely girl. I quit raving and any other dodgey drug taking shannigans and bought myself a 32k 16v xr2i and got into the car scene big time.
2004 - age 24
Splitup with my then girlfrend as she turned out to be a lying cheating slapper!!!! Still in a SHIT load of debt. This was to be a major turn around in my life and I never noticed until now... got back into raving at the start of 2004 after i split up with my gf.
Later in 2004 a good friend of mine (who ill admit i was in love with) died in a tragic accident.
2005 - 25
Battled with depression in the early part of 2005, also put a lot of time and effort into paying my debts off.
2006 - age 26/27
Still single but My debts are almost all paid off (only another year to go!) Im building a music studio in my room (see debts as my reason as not moving out yet!) and mentally am the strongest I have ever been in my life.
Life can be cruelly front loaded imo but I am a firm beleiver of "everything happens for a reason but it takes a while for these to show".
Life is what YOU make it.
1997 - age 17
Got into a lot of debt.
1998 - 99 - age 18/19
Battled with a serious smack addiction. I wont go into details but it wanst nice for anyone around me to deal with.
late 99 - 2000 - age 20
Met a lovely girl and beat my smack habit (never touched it since then! and never will do!)
2001 - age 21
That lovely girl turned out to be fucking psycho! Later in 2001 I met another lovely girl. I quit raving and any other dodgey drug taking shannigans and bought myself a 32k 16v xr2i and got into the car scene big time.
2004 - age 24
Splitup with my then girlfrend as she turned out to be a lying cheating slapper!!!! Still in a SHIT load of debt. This was to be a major turn around in my life and I never noticed until now... got back into raving at the start of 2004 after i split up with my gf.
Later in 2004 a good friend of mine (who ill admit i was in love with) died in a tragic accident.
2005 - 25
Battled with depression in the early part of 2005, also put a lot of time and effort into paying my debts off.
2006 - age 26/27
Still single but My debts are almost all paid off (only another year to go!) Im building a music studio in my room (see debts as my reason as not moving out yet!) and mentally am the strongest I have ever been in my life.
Life can be cruelly front loaded imo but I am a firm beleiver of "everything happens for a reason but it takes a while for these to show".
Life is what YOU make it.
26-12-2006, 08:00 PM
#103
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STU @MSD i think i drink too much caffine and sugary shit too
Born: Friday 13th Feb 1981 (yes, it starts bad and gets worse )
lived in Ash near Aldershot, did school and stuff there till i was 8.
moved to Colerne in Wilts.. went to school there, fell in with a couple of
pricks,, ended up nearly getting expelled
parents split up when i was 11.
secondary school, very ordinary (till i met fudge )
got average grades.
college- again average
Since the last year of secondary school i had been getting into
Downhill mountain bike riding.
got quite good, sponsored by 2 national Mountain bike related companies
appeared in magazines (MBUK, dirt), videos (sprung video magazine)
raced a bit,, was hoping to make a careear out of it,, sadly only finished 6th in Juniors... pretty much gave up there and then
worked in some Shit part time job while doing the bikes.
Got my first Real job when i was 21 in a local Fibreglass laminating place.
the managers there ALways asked me why i was there, why wasnt i doing something more. just got stuck in a rut... a 5 year rut
Found it SO hard to get motivation to get another job.
and i know myself i have aspirations and capabillities way above what i was achieving
only found the motivation when workmates started with the 'Lifer' jokes etc..
applied for a couple of jobs,,, and eventually got a letter back asking me for an interview for the first letter i sent out..
went along, 2 days later got asked to work there.
and im now training with a REALLY nice bunch of guys.
till i work on my own from home
As a side from that, I am most of the time a Very quiet person,
until im comfortable with the people i am around...
VERY nervous of women, and so dont really have a lot to do with them,
so that does get me down a good bit. the better lookin they are,, the more nervous i am of even being near em
never had anyone special or anything like that, so i think its probably a batchalors life for me!
Ive fallen out with a few people, one in particular i know uses this site.
in fairness it was his GF that caused all the trouble and things she did before she met him. and ive never said much about that, he just ignores me now..I dont care about falling out with her at all,, but he was always alright.
I do battle with my own mind a lot of the time. I KNOW im my own worst enemy. I find myself Happy one day, and massivly down the next..
some people have said i should see someone about it.. but that feels like a step beyond to me paranoia is a bit -part of my mind too.
Properly wanna get my head down and make some money in this new job, I'm never gonna make big money, i have always accepted that.. In my own head, just having 'enough' has always where ive wanted to be.
just need to battle my own mind, and i think i'll be ok.
In actual fact,, almost nothing has happened in my life lookin at it!! lol
Highs: sucessful in R/C car racing when i was younger
sucessful in D/h mountain biking
got my cossie (somethin i had always said i wanted)
Lows: generally being me, someone people generally think is a bit
arrogant until they get to know me, then realise im properly not!
putting myself down, saying im being realistic when im actually
knocking myself..
Born: Friday 13th Feb 1981 (yes, it starts bad and gets worse
)lived in Ash near Aldershot, did school and stuff there till i was 8.
moved to Colerne in Wilts.. went to school there, fell in with a couple of
pricks,, ended up nearly getting expelled
parents split up when i was 11.
secondary school, very ordinary (till i met fudge
)got average grades.
college- again average
Since the last year of secondary school i had been getting into
Downhill mountain bike riding.
got quite good, sponsored by 2 national Mountain bike related companies
appeared in magazines (MBUK, dirt), videos (sprung video magazine)
raced a bit,, was hoping to make a careear out of it,, sadly only finished 6th in Juniors... pretty much gave up there and then
worked in some Shit part time job while doing the bikes.
Got my first Real job when i was 21 in a local Fibreglass laminating place.
the managers there ALways asked me why i was there, why wasnt i doing something more. just got stuck in a rut... a 5 year rut
Found it SO hard to get motivation to get another job.
and i know myself i have aspirations and capabillities way above what i was achieving
only found the motivation when workmates started with the 'Lifer' jokes etc..
applied for a couple of jobs,,, and eventually got a letter back asking me for an interview for the first letter i sent out..
went along, 2 days later got asked to work there.
and im now training with a REALLY nice bunch of guys.
till i work on my own from home
As a side from that, I am most of the time a Very quiet person,
until im comfortable with the people i am around...
VERY nervous of women, and so dont really have a lot to do with them,
so that does get me down a good bit. the better lookin they are,, the more nervous i am of even being near em
never had anyone special or anything like that, so i think its probably a batchalors life for me!
Ive fallen out with a few people, one in particular i know uses this site.
in fairness it was his GF that caused all the trouble and things she did before she met him. and ive never said much about that, he just ignores me now..I dont care about falling out with her at all,, but he was always alright.
I do battle with my own mind a lot of the time. I KNOW im my own worst enemy. I find myself Happy one day, and massivly down the next..
some people have said i should see someone about it.. but that feels like a step beyond to me
paranoia is a bit -part of my mind too.Properly wanna get my head down and make some money in this new job, I'm never gonna make big money, i have always accepted that.. In my own head, just having 'enough' has always where ive wanted to be.
just need to battle my own mind, and i think i'll be ok.
In actual fact,, almost nothing has happened in my life lookin at it!! lol
Highs: sucessful in R/C car racing when i was younger
sucessful in D/h mountain biking
got my cossie (somethin i had always said i wanted)
Lows: generally being me, someone people generally think is a bit
arrogant until they get to know me, then realise im properly not!
putting myself down, saying im being realistic when im actually
knocking myself..
26-12-2006, 08:01 PM
#104
PassionFord Post Whore!!
Join Date: Aug 2004
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Born 21st December 1978
had a wicked childhood up until 1990 when i started secondry school i was bullied everyday for 4 years until a lad put me in hospital. When i went back to school i took a hunting knife with me,found him and as i tried to stab him i was stopped by the teachers.The last year i was there i was like a ghost the bullying stopped but no one not even my friends i did have would come near me cos they thought i was a pyscho.
Left school in 1995 and got my first job on a chicken farm but left after a couple of months cos i moved in with my dad which turned out to be a big mistake cos i found out what sort of man he was (alcoholic woman beater)
1997 i started working full time on the farm i'd worked on part time since i was 13 and im still there to this day
2000 after being a 'jack the lad' i settled down in my own house with my first serious GF but we split in 2003 so went back to shagging anything that moved til Xmas of that year when i met Natalie
2004 Nat moved in after 1 month of us meeting,she fell pregnant in May but left me in August and thats when i turned to cocaine,i was seriously depressed and tried to commit suicide twice.
2005 my daughter was born in February but i didn't get to see her much due to me and Nat hating each other
2006 everything going well then got better in October when me and Nat got back together and i kicked my cocaine habit and finally got over my depression
things ain't perfect with me and Nat but we're working through it. i have a problem trusting her cos of her leaving me for someone else in 2004 but in time im sure the trust will come back and she does understand this
Me and Nat both think 2007 will be 'our year' we'll finally iron out the problems in our relationship and become even better parents to our daughter
had a wicked childhood up until 1990 when i started secondry school i was bullied everyday for 4 years until a lad put me in hospital. When i went back to school i took a hunting knife with me,found him and as i tried to stab him i was stopped by the teachers.The last year i was there i was like a ghost the bullying stopped but no one not even my friends i did have would come near me cos they thought i was a pyscho.
Left school in 1995 and got my first job on a chicken farm but left after a couple of months cos i moved in with my dad which turned out to be a big mistake cos i found out what sort of man he was (alcoholic woman beater)
1997 i started working full time on the farm i'd worked on part time since i was 13 and im still there to this day
2000 after being a 'jack the lad' i settled down in my own house with my first serious GF but we split in 2003 so went back to shagging anything that moved til Xmas of that year when i met Natalie
2004 Nat moved in after 1 month of us meeting,she fell pregnant in May but left me in August and thats when i turned to cocaine,i was seriously depressed and tried to commit suicide twice.
2005 my daughter was born in February but i didn't get to see her much due to me and Nat hating each other
2006 everything going well then got better in October when me and Nat got back together and i kicked my cocaine habit and finally got over my depression
things ain't perfect with me and Nat but we're working through it. i have a problem trusting her cos of her leaving me for someone else in 2004 but in time im sure the trust will come back and she does understand this
Me and Nat both think 2007 will be 'our year' we'll finally iron out the problems in our relationship and become even better parents to our daughter
26-12-2006, 08:07 PM
#105
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
Join Date: Feb 2005
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awesome thread this and big respect to everyone thats posted, an insight into others lifes isnt somethink you get to read everyday.
well heres mine
born into a poor family and raised in a very racist area, through the years had many may battles sticking upfor myself even at a very very young age
moved to an even rougher area after my parents split, left my dad behind thinking he was the best dad in the world, sadly youth was blinding.
started school in new area and was picked on alittle, dad started teaching me to defend myself and taking me to boxing lessons, i beat the bullies and bacame to use my fighting in ways that spiralled out of control.
big brother and me have always fighted and not got on, seems to be getting worse now hes taking drugs, thank god its one thing ive never touched. still in poor life and at my young age see things that gave me nitemares, still my mom provided the best she could and always has done.
mom gets made redundant and things look bleak, mom decides to start he own business and to all of our surprise it does well, she works flat out for 4 years
i get expelled from school, i got to private school, i meet my first proper girlfriend, 2 years it lasted and we gave up, sad i was but soon got over it!!
went to college and did really well, moms business is now doing seriously well, we move to a new area an affluent area, i find the snobby people annoying but its so good now to be away from the hood.
i meet my first true love and we go and do everything together, shes a best friend and no one knows me like she does, 4 years later we split up, that was 6 months ago and i still miss her to this very day,
i buy my first home, its amazing, got my dream car to my beloved escort cossie at just 21, i never in a million years thought id ever get one
mom now owns 6 businesses in total, one being the largest of its type in the uk, over 1200 staff now, i work for the business now running it day today.
meet new girlfriend, feel like ive fallen in love again, sadly a drunken brall sees her taken at HMs pleasure, shes back in a few weeks, strange this time apart has been bad but not as bad as i expected.
sell cossie and get an EVO 8
so here i am today, thanking god everyday loving life as much as possible, try to use the negatives in my life to fuel a better life, luckily it seems to be doing me ok!! alot of ups and down for 22 years but its made me the person i am, i wouldnt change anythink of it.
well heres mine
born into a poor family and raised in a very racist area, through the years had many may battles sticking upfor myself even at a very very young age
moved to an even rougher area after my parents split, left my dad behind thinking he was the best dad in the world, sadly youth was blinding.
started school in new area and was picked on alittle, dad started teaching me to defend myself and taking me to boxing lessons, i beat the bullies and bacame to use my fighting in ways that spiralled out of control.
big brother and me have always fighted and not got on, seems to be getting worse now hes taking drugs, thank god its one thing ive never touched. still in poor life and at my young age see things that gave me nitemares, still my mom provided the best she could and always has done.
mom gets made redundant and things look bleak, mom decides to start he own business and to all of our surprise it does well, she works flat out for 4 years
i get expelled from school, i got to private school, i meet my first proper girlfriend, 2 years it lasted and we gave up, sad i was but soon got over it!!
went to college and did really well, moms business is now doing seriously well, we move to a new area an affluent area, i find the snobby people annoying but its so good now to be away from the hood.
i meet my first true love and we go and do everything together, shes a best friend and no one knows me like she does, 4 years later we split up, that was 6 months ago and i still miss her to this very day,
i buy my first home, its amazing, got my dream car to my beloved escort cossie at just 21, i never in a million years thought id ever get one
mom now owns 6 businesses in total, one being the largest of its type in the uk, over 1200 staff now, i work for the business now running it day today.
meet new girlfriend, feel like ive fallen in love again, sadly a drunken brall sees her taken at HMs pleasure, shes back in a few weeks, strange this time apart has been bad but not as bad as i expected.
sell cossie and get an EVO 8
so here i am today, thanking god everyday loving life as much as possible, try to use the negatives in my life to fuel a better life, luckily it seems to be doing me ok!! alot of ups and down for 22 years but its made me the person i am, i wouldnt change anythink of it.
26-12-2006, 08:35 PM
#106
PassionFord Post Whore!!
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Originally Posted by cahzz
left my dad behind thinking he was the best dad in the world, sadly youth was blinding.
this is a cracking thread Stu
26-12-2006, 08:54 PM
#107
PassionFord Post Whore!!
some very inspriing stories.
sorry mines sooo fucking long but i had alot to fit in ive missed alot out though lol.
dont know where to start with mine really, will try and put everything in roughly chronological order but dunno if itll work out.
was born in 1986, mum ruth, dad jim, 1/2 sister of my dads previous marrage cathy. cant remmber alot of our first house. i do remember a few rows between my parents but thats it.
moved in 1992 into a council house due to my dads business going under due to his severe drink problem.
my dads been the major influence in my life. hes a bit of a wanker. like said above hes always been a very heavy drinker. hes a decent bloke when sober but a cunt when hes pissed. can remember endless arguements and fights between my parents, him being physically and verbally abusive to my mum and us kids. my sister getting out and moving back down to surry with her grand parents leaving me as an only child.
like i said before, when my dad was sober he was alright, good dad and husband, but he was out every night getting pissed. this effected my childhood and i think me as an adult in a big way. i wasnt alowwed to be like normal kids, as soon as my dad came home from the pub i knew i had to be 100% perfect behavoir or itd kick him off. at the weekends i barely saw him, when he did promise to do things with me they never worked out. because of this i believe its really effected my ability to trust and connect with people. junior school i hated. wasnt a particularly good kid, was always in trouble for silly things, and was constantly bullied for my size, hair and my mums religion (jehovahs witness). was happy to leave junior school as hated every second of it, high school wasnt much different. i carried on battling the bullys at school, and putting up with my dads temper and drinking at home. didnt have many friends but the lad who lived next door dom became my best mate. spent everyday with him at school and at home. he had been through alot with his mother abondoning him, not knowing his dad and living with his very ill nan, we were like peas in a pod and helped each other through the shit.
january 1st 2000 was the worst day of my life.
came home pissed from the pub about 11.45pm to see the new millenium in with me and my mum. it started off a nice night, the neighbors were having a party so we ended up over there, around 2am all the adults went out to visit a few local friends and nieghbors, i stayed back with the 2 young kids of the neighbors, my mum returned about 20 mins later, my dad right behind her. as he stepped into the living room, he grabbed her, headbutted her and broke her nose infront of me. i had to hold him back until everyone else heard the screams and came back, shit hit the fan and i seemed to be right in the middle.
went down hill from there really. my parents split up a few months after because my dad had been cheating, he didnt pay my mum any maintenance so we struggled on her part time wages. she became very ill with manis depression and couldnt work anymore, i tried to support her emotionally, while put up with dealing with the experiences id suffered the past 6-1th months. my dad letting me down every weekend, or just picking me up to go to the pub. while at school i was still getting bullied relentlessly and getting into trouble with teachers etc.
life was shit but i seemed to just cope with it for my mums sake. i bottled all my feelng up because i knew itd upset her more.
in 2002 i was doing better at school, turned a bit of a corner. had been pushed over the line by a few of the wankers who bullied me and ended up cracking some skulls so to speak. had started to get more and more friends, and had gotten very close to a girl who dom my best mate went out with. she seemed to tag along with me and dom everywhere, so we got to know each other really well, when they broke up she came straight to me as her shoulder to cry on, after a few months we were inseperable.
life at home seemed a little better, after 18months or so of my mum being very ill, she started to pick up, i had vertually stopped seeing my dad, would go 3 months without seeing him, but didnt effect me that much, at least he wasnt hurting me. one day an old friend of my mums came to visit her, we were introduced and i thought nothing of it. about 10 mins later i was called into the kitchen and told they were getting married, and we were moving away. that was when my mum and dad finnally got divorced. he was living with a woman who owned a pub he used to drink in, they were getting married. he invited me a few times to go over there but having got to know her and her 2 kids it felt terrible now looking at them as his new family. he treated them better than he had ever treated my mum and me, and it made be sick. i went to his wedding to deliver a card, but left in tears after about 90seconds. i couldnt bare to see him happy with another woman, her kids, and the rest of our family. itd never been like that for us.
when it came to the move i was devestated, for the first time in my life things were on the up, i had friends, was doing well in school (but still the class clown ) had good mates, and also was totally infatuated with my first love, laura. i finished year 10 in school as my last, my mate threw a party at his house and we all got trashed, then away i went down to somerset, 170 miles away from everything and everyone.
the first 8 months or so were horrendous. i refused to go back into school, so applied at filton college in bristol to do aerospace engineering - the only thing that sounded anygood and worth bothering with. my mum vertually cut me off, i still lived wth her but she only ever paid any attention to me when i did somethign wrong. it was all about her and paul. i can understand why now, he treats her well and shes happier than shes ever been with him, but at the time, i needed support and it felt like she didnt care. about 2 or 3 weeks after we moved, i got a txt from my dad saying he was emegrating to america with his new family in 4 days time and would like to see me. this was the straw that broke the camels back i think. i lost the will to live, had nothing, nobody, and didnt feel like anyone gave a shit. laura stopped talking to me, wouldnt reply to my calls, txts or emails. went into a pretty bad state of depression for around 5 months or so, started hurting myself deliberatly, came close to ending my own life a couple of times, was reclusive and only came out of my room to eat and go to college. i managed to get upto stoke on the train once or twice to visit my mates, but made very little difference to my outlook on life.
christmas day 2002 i got a txt off laura saying "merry christmas, hope you have a great day, love you xx" my heart pounded and i got butterflies all over, that once sentence lifted my spirit no end. i went up to see my mates for new year and could say i felt happy again for the first time in a long time
in early 2003 i got a job in a home furnishings store, this is where i met a few good mates. gave me a bit of a social life, was earning a few quid and going out and getting lashed most weekends with my new mates.
somewhere along the line i was after a car to play around with, bought a mk2 xr2 for Ł250 which my mum used as a runabout, and i played with and ragged around our estate now and then! got me into the car scene properly and gave me something to work for.
2003 - that summer i went out to america to see my dad for the first time in a year. after no contact with him it was like the slate had been wiped clean and we could start again. was awkward to begin with but i had the time of my life, got on with my new family like id known them all my life, they took me in like one of their own. made no end of new friends out there and was totally gutted to have to come home after 6 weeks. my dad had totally changed, he still drank but only at home after work, a few beers in the back garden type thing. i went back that christmas and again, had the time of my life. this time i noticed my dads temper returning and the drinking was heavier.
went back again the next summer and things had got worse. he was back to his normal self again. had to put up with him and my stepmum argue, him getting pissed up, coming home to find hed hit her etc.
the following year was even worse, 1/2 way through the summer they had a big row, he hit knocked her about a bit and then left. i had to drive him to the airport for his flight back to england. this left them up shit creak financially as he made very good wage, and their mortgage was $3000 a month. this really effected me as they felt like family to me as much as my mum. was like it was happening all over again - it WAS happening all over again.
had a bit of a shit time of it when i got back, i broke up with my mrs from work, crashed my parents car, was unemployed as i packed in my job before i went to the usa. during this whole period things at home have changed slightly, my mum began to act like her old self towards me when i got back from america the first time. my stepdsds and ignorant tosser who i dont get on with, but do my best for my mums sake.
since the last trip to america ive been in a couple of jobs, one worse than the other. last one was security, earning Ł300+ quid a week but crap shifts which kills my social life. went out to america in july and had a great time with my adopted family. theyre back on their feet and was much better without my old man there. he looks at me as a traitor as ive never sided with him over any of this. i dont speak to him anymore and havnt seen him in over 18months.
recently packed in security and decided to go self employed doing ceramic tiling, im still waiting for work to come in but hopfully in the new year itll pick up.
i get back upto stoke alot more these days, my mates are all growing up and it feels good to be able to spend time with em again, go out and get shitfaced etc, feels like the good old days. saw laura on bonfire night this year for the first time in over 3 and 1/2 years. still feel the same for her, first love and all that. shes got a boyfriend and is happy though so good.
at the mo im fairly happy. few good mates, seeing a nice girl, building a quick car and home life is stable. all i could ask for really!
sorry that was such an essay i got carried away!
sorry mines sooo fucking long but i had alot to fit in
ive missed alot out though lol.dont know where to start with mine really, will try and put everything in roughly chronological order but dunno if itll work out.
was born in 1986, mum ruth, dad jim, 1/2 sister of my dads previous marrage cathy. cant remmber alot of our first house. i do remember a few rows between my parents but thats it.
moved in 1992 into a council house due to my dads business going under due to his severe drink problem.
my dads been the major influence in my life. hes a bit of a wanker. like said above hes always been a very heavy drinker. hes a decent bloke when sober but a cunt when hes pissed. can remember endless arguements and fights between my parents, him being physically and verbally abusive to my mum and us kids. my sister getting out and moving back down to surry with her grand parents leaving me as an only child.
like i said before, when my dad was sober he was alright, good dad and husband, but he was out every night getting pissed. this effected my childhood and i think me as an adult in a big way. i wasnt alowwed to be like normal kids, as soon as my dad came home from the pub i knew i had to be 100% perfect behavoir or itd kick him off. at the weekends i barely saw him, when he did promise to do things with me they never worked out. because of this i believe its really effected my ability to trust and connect with people. junior school i hated. wasnt a particularly good kid, was always in trouble for silly things, and was constantly bullied for my size, hair and my mums religion (jehovahs witness). was happy to leave junior school as hated every second of it, high school wasnt much different. i carried on battling the bullys at school, and putting up with my dads temper and drinking at home. didnt have many friends but the lad who lived next door dom became my best mate. spent everyday with him at school and at home. he had been through alot with his mother abondoning him, not knowing his dad and living with his very ill nan, we were like peas in a pod and helped each other through the shit.
january 1st 2000 was the worst day of my life.
came home pissed from the pub about 11.45pm to see the new millenium in with me and my mum. it started off a nice night, the neighbors were having a party so we ended up over there, around 2am all the adults went out to visit a few local friends and nieghbors, i stayed back with the 2 young kids of the neighbors, my mum returned about 20 mins later, my dad right behind her. as he stepped into the living room, he grabbed her, headbutted her and broke her nose infront of me. i had to hold him back until everyone else heard the screams and came back, shit hit the fan and i seemed to be right in the middle.
went down hill from there really. my parents split up a few months after because my dad had been cheating, he didnt pay my mum any maintenance so we struggled on her part time wages. she became very ill with manis depression and couldnt work anymore, i tried to support her emotionally, while put up with dealing with the experiences id suffered the past 6-1th months. my dad letting me down every weekend, or just picking me up to go to the pub. while at school i was still getting bullied relentlessly and getting into trouble with teachers etc.
life was shit but i seemed to just cope with it for my mums sake. i bottled all my feelng up because i knew itd upset her more.
in 2002 i was doing better at school, turned a bit of a corner. had been pushed over the line by a few of the wankers who bullied me and ended up cracking some skulls so to speak. had started to get more and more friends, and had gotten very close to a girl who dom my best mate went out with. she seemed to tag along with me and dom everywhere, so we got to know each other really well, when they broke up she came straight to me as her shoulder to cry on, after a few months we were inseperable.
life at home seemed a little better, after 18months or so of my mum being very ill, she started to pick up, i had vertually stopped seeing my dad, would go 3 months without seeing him, but didnt effect me that much, at least he wasnt hurting me. one day an old friend of my mums came to visit her, we were introduced and i thought nothing of it. about 10 mins later i was called into the kitchen and told they were getting married, and we were moving away. that was when my mum and dad finnally got divorced. he was living with a woman who owned a pub he used to drink in, they were getting married. he invited me a few times to go over there but having got to know her and her 2 kids it felt terrible now looking at them as his new family. he treated them better than he had ever treated my mum and me, and it made be sick. i went to his wedding to deliver a card, but left in tears after about 90seconds. i couldnt bare to see him happy with another woman, her kids, and the rest of our family. itd never been like that for us.
when it came to the move i was devestated, for the first time in my life things were on the up, i had friends, was doing well in school (but still the class clown
) had good mates, and also was totally infatuated with my first love, laura. i finished year 10 in school as my last, my mate threw a party at his house and we all got trashed, then away i went down to somerset, 170 miles away from everything and everyone. the first 8 months or so were horrendous. i refused to go back into school, so applied at filton college in bristol to do aerospace engineering - the only thing that sounded anygood and worth bothering with. my mum vertually cut me off, i still lived wth her but she only ever paid any attention to me when i did somethign wrong. it was all about her and paul. i can understand why now, he treats her well and shes happier than shes ever been with him, but at the time, i needed support and it felt like she didnt care. about 2 or 3 weeks after we moved, i got a txt from my dad saying he was emegrating to america with his new family in 4 days time and would like to see me. this was the straw that broke the camels back i think. i lost the will to live, had nothing, nobody, and didnt feel like anyone gave a shit. laura stopped talking to me, wouldnt reply to my calls, txts or emails. went into a pretty bad state of depression for around 5 months or so, started hurting myself deliberatly, came close to ending my own life a couple of times, was reclusive and only came out of my room to eat and go to college. i managed to get upto stoke on the train once or twice to visit my mates, but made very little difference to my outlook on life.
christmas day 2002 i got a txt off laura saying "merry christmas, hope you have a great day, love you xx" my heart pounded and i got butterflies all over, that once sentence lifted my spirit no end. i went up to see my mates for new year and could say i felt happy again for the first time in a long time
in early 2003 i got a job in a home furnishings store, this is where i met a few good mates. gave me a bit of a social life, was earning a few quid and going out and getting lashed most weekends with my new mates.
somewhere along the line i was after a car to play around with, bought a mk2 xr2 for Ł250 which my mum used as a runabout, and i played with and ragged around our estate now and then! got me into the car scene properly and gave me something to work for.
2003 - that summer i went out to america to see my dad for the first time in a year. after no contact with him it was like the slate had been wiped clean and we could start again. was awkward to begin with but i had the time of my life, got on with my new family like id known them all my life, they took me in like one of their own. made no end of new friends out there and was totally gutted to have to come home after 6 weeks. my dad had totally changed, he still drank but only at home after work, a few beers in the back garden type thing. i went back that christmas and again, had the time of my life. this time i noticed my dads temper returning and the drinking was heavier.
went back again the next summer and things had got worse. he was back to his normal self again. had to put up with him and my stepmum argue, him getting pissed up, coming home to find hed hit her etc.
the following year was even worse, 1/2 way through the summer they had a big row, he hit knocked her about a bit and then left. i had to drive him to the airport for his flight back to england. this left them up shit creak financially as he made very good wage, and their mortgage was $3000 a month. this really effected me as they felt like family to me as much as my mum. was like it was happening all over again - it WAS happening all over again.
had a bit of a shit time of it when i got back, i broke up with my mrs from work, crashed my parents car, was unemployed as i packed in my job before i went to the usa. during this whole period things at home have changed slightly, my mum began to act like her old self towards me when i got back from america the first time. my stepdsds and ignorant tosser who i dont get on with, but do my best for my mums sake.
since the last trip to america ive been in a couple of jobs, one worse than the other. last one was security, earning Ł300+ quid a week but crap shifts which kills my social life. went out to america in july and had a great time with my adopted family. theyre back on their feet and was much better without my old man there. he looks at me as a traitor as ive never sided with him over any of this. i dont speak to him anymore and havnt seen him in over 18months.
recently packed in security and decided to go self employed doing ceramic tiling, im still waiting for work to come in but hopfully in the new year itll pick up.
i get back upto stoke alot more these days, my mates are all growing up and it feels good to be able to spend time with em again, go out and get shitfaced etc, feels like the good old days. saw laura on bonfire night this year for the first time in over 3 and 1/2 years. still feel the same for her, first love and all that. shes got a boyfriend and is happy though so good.
at the mo im fairly happy. few good mates, seeing a nice girl, building a quick car and home life is stable. all i could ask for really!
sorry that was such an essay
i got carried away!
26-12-2006, 09:38 PM
#108
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally Posted by big bad al
Born 21st December 1978
had a wicked childhood up until 1990 when i started secondry school i was bullied everyday for 4 years until a lad put me in hospital. When i went back to school i took a hunting knife with me,found him and as i tried to stab him i was stopped by the teachers.The last year i was there i was like a ghost the bullying stopped but no one not even my friends i did have would come near me cos they thought i was a pyscho.
Left school in 1995 and got my first job on a chicken farm but left after a couple of months cos i moved in with my dad which turned out to be a big mistake cos i found out what sort of man he was (alcoholic woman beater)
1997 i started working full time on the farm i'd worked on part time since i was 13 and im still there to this day
2000 after being a 'jack the lad' i settled down in my own house with my first serious GF but we split in 2003 so went back to shagging anything that moved til Xmas of that year when i met Natalie
2004 Nat moved in after 1 month of us meeting,she fell pregnant in May but left me in August and thats when i turned to cocaine,i was seriously depressed and tried to commit suicide twice.
2005 my daughter was born in February but i didn't get to see her much due to me and Nat hating each other
2006 everything going well then got better in October when me and Nat got back together and i kicked my cocaine habit and finally got over my depression
things ain't perfect with me and Nat but we're working through it. i have a problem trusting her cos of her leaving me for someone else in 2004 but in time im sure the trust will come back and she does understand this
Me and Nat both think 2007 will be 'our year' we'll finally iron out the problems in our relationship and become even better parents to our daughter
had a wicked childhood up until 1990 when i started secondry school i was bullied everyday for 4 years until a lad put me in hospital. When i went back to school i took a hunting knife with me,found him and as i tried to stab him i was stopped by the teachers.The last year i was there i was like a ghost the bullying stopped but no one not even my friends i did have would come near me cos they thought i was a pyscho.
Left school in 1995 and got my first job on a chicken farm but left after a couple of months cos i moved in with my dad which turned out to be a big mistake cos i found out what sort of man he was (alcoholic woman beater)
1997 i started working full time on the farm i'd worked on part time since i was 13 and im still there to this day
2000 after being a 'jack the lad' i settled down in my own house with my first serious GF but we split in 2003 so went back to shagging anything that moved til Xmas of that year when i met Natalie
2004 Nat moved in after 1 month of us meeting,she fell pregnant in May but left me in August and thats when i turned to cocaine,i was seriously depressed and tried to commit suicide twice.
2005 my daughter was born in February but i didn't get to see her much due to me and Nat hating each other
2006 everything going well then got better in October when me and Nat got back together and i kicked my cocaine habit and finally got over my depression
things ain't perfect with me and Nat but we're working through it. i have a problem trusting her cos of her leaving me for someone else in 2004 but in time im sure the trust will come back and she does understand this
Me and Nat both think 2007 will be 'our year' we'll finally iron out the problems in our relationship and become even better parents to our daughter
you sound like a good man , what i have got to know you over the past months on PASSION FORD , and i would be honored to call you a friend if we ever met up in real life
26-12-2006, 10:25 PM
#109
good work here people
i think it must take alot ot air your personel lows to complete strangers
the only real major low i ahve in my life.....
is hitting my dad so hard, i put him in hospital for well over a month, he was in a real bad way apparently his heart stopped
funny thing is that sort of brought us closer, pleased to say i now consider him as my best mate (wouldnt go out on the lash with him but you get the idea )
too many highs to mention really but the best bit of my life is meeting my soul mate lisa
soppy mode off
i think it must take alot ot air your personel lows to complete strangers
the only real major low i ahve in my life.....
is hitting my dad so hard, i put him in hospital for well over a month, he was in a real bad way apparently his heart stopped
funny thing is that sort of brought us closer, pleased to say i now consider him as my best mate (wouldnt go out on the lash with him but you get the idea
)too many highs to mention really but the best bit of my life is meeting my soul mate lisa
soppy mode off
26-12-2006, 10:44 PM
#110
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What can i say, ive lead a straight and narrow life to be honest.
Born in June 1979, went to school and did well, was on the football team and loved it.
I don't really seem to remember anything until i was 16, I left school, fell in and out of various jobs that i hated, various driving jobs, warehouse work, all of which was shit.
In the end i didn't do anything for just over 6 years apart from live off savings and enjoy myself, I was out every night of the week spending over Ł200 a week on booze and clubbing and when i wasn't doing that id sit at home and drink, all of which gained me a lot of weight, i was touching 19st in that time i was not working i met a fantastic lady, lost 6 stone our 6th anniversary was last week and shes a very big part of my life.
In feb 2003 I lost my best friend, my Grandad The only thing that gives me comfort was he battled through intensive care and didn't give up until the last breath, I'm sooooo glad i was there with him when he passed.
Present day, Ive been in a full time job i enjoy for the past 6 months now, me and the better half are saving for a deposit on our own place and are planning a short break for the summer, that's if there isn't a pitter patter of little feet in the household before 2008!
Feel funny writing this, and emotional, Ive gone from no feeling in the first part, to near on crying in the middle and happiness at the end, excellent topic
Born in June 1979, went to school and did well, was on the football team and loved it.
I don't really seem to remember anything until i was 16, I left school, fell in and out of various jobs that i hated, various driving jobs, warehouse work, all of which was shit.
In the end i didn't do anything for just over 6 years apart from live off savings and enjoy myself, I was out every night of the week spending over Ł200 a week on booze and clubbing and when i wasn't doing that id sit at home and drink, all of which gained me a lot of weight, i was touching 19st
in that time i was not working i met a fantastic lady, lost 6 stone our 6th anniversary was last week and shes a very big part of my life.In feb 2003 I lost my best friend, my Grandad
The only thing that gives me comfort was he battled through intensive care and didn't give up until the last breath, I'm sooooo glad i was there with him when he passed.Present day, Ive been in a full time job i enjoy for the past 6 months now, me and the better half are saving for a deposit on our own place and are planning a short break for the summer, that's if there isn't a pitter patter of little feet in the household before 2008!
Feel funny writing this, and emotional, Ive gone from no feeling in the first part, to near on crying in the middle and happiness at the end, excellent topic
27-12-2006, 07:19 PM
#111
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ill put a brief version of mine up..... nothing really as interesting or commendable as some on here but nevermind that.....
born in 1981, my mum was 17 and dad was 20
1983 my brother was born,
1984, my mum decided that life was better of without me and my bro in it so fucked off and left my dad, never bothered attempting to stick around and make it work, so me and my bro were brought up singlehandedly by my father, who i respect immensely
1987, dad got a gf when i was 7 who i hated immensely, she didnt like me either so had a pretty miserable time of it being blamed for everything i didnt do for years until she left him
1990-1994- used to run for the county and had a few medals, won loads of awards for rising star of the town etc, at this time dad split up with his gf and i was overjoyed as meant i could be happy again
1995- decided that i wanted to be a teenager instead of training 7 days a week, so jacked it in much to everyones disappointment, and annoyance of my father
1997- met the father of my 2 children, who happened to be a psychotic possessive idiot
1998- left school with 9 gcse's and went to college to study towards advanced national diploma, with intentions of going into nursing
2000- my daughter was born when i was 18, i didnt want to give up my life so got a job as nursing auxilliary, which at the time i really enjoyed
2003- had my son, and realised that my life would be a lot better if i got out of the relationship i was in with their father, as wasnt happy and knew i could give the kids a better life if i wasnt with him,
2005- decided that i needed answers to find my mother as was very angry about the whole situation and needed to know the part of my life that was missing, found her on google, sort of maintained a semi decent relationship despite the fact she never bothered with me, helped me feel a lot better about myself
june 2005- met lee, and instantly knew i wanted to be with him he proposed after 6 weeks which i was overjoyed with, my life felt totally complete
march 2006- moved into a bigger house with lee and the kids, really happy with the way our life was progressing
may 2006- found out me and lee were expecting our first child together, which totally overjoyed us both, and we are both totally in love and really happy together, ive never felt so secure with anyone before and im lucky to have someone as wonderful as him in my life
still working as an auxiliary but being made redundant in january, think ill change my career path to give us all a better life
and now weve been together 1.5yr, gonna start booking our wedding next year, im due to have the baby in feb, my 2 kids love lee more than anything, and he treats them like his own which i could never have dreamed of.
overall i think im pretty happy with my life, there isnt anything id change in it at all
born in 1981, my mum was 17 and dad was 20
1983 my brother was born,
1984, my mum decided that life was better of without me and my bro in it so fucked off and left my dad, never bothered attempting to stick around and make it work, so me and my bro were brought up singlehandedly by my father, who i respect immensely
1987, dad got a gf when i was 7 who i hated immensely, she didnt like me either so had a pretty miserable time of it being blamed for everything i didnt do for years until she left him
1990-1994- used to run for the county and had a few medals, won loads of awards for rising star of the town etc, at this time dad split up with his gf and i was overjoyed as meant i could be happy again
1995- decided that i wanted to be a teenager instead of training 7 days a week, so jacked it in much to everyones disappointment, and annoyance of my father
1997- met the father of my 2 children, who happened to be a psychotic possessive idiot
1998- left school with 9 gcse's and went to college to study towards advanced national diploma, with intentions of going into nursing
2000- my daughter was born when i was 18, i didnt want to give up my life so got a job as nursing auxilliary, which at the time i really enjoyed
2003- had my son, and realised that my life would be a lot better if i got out of the relationship i was in with their father, as wasnt happy and knew i could give the kids a better life if i wasnt with him,
2005- decided that i needed answers to find my mother as was very angry about the whole situation and needed to know the part of my life that was missing, found her on google, sort of maintained a semi decent relationship despite the fact she never bothered with me, helped me feel a lot better about myself
june 2005- met lee, and instantly knew i wanted to be with him
he proposed after 6 weeks which i was overjoyed with, my life felt totally completemarch 2006- moved into a bigger house with lee and the kids, really happy with the way our life was progressing
may 2006- found out me and lee were expecting our first child together, which totally overjoyed us both, and we are both totally in love and really happy together, ive never felt so secure with anyone before and im lucky to have someone as wonderful as him in my life
still working as an auxiliary but being made redundant in january, think ill change my career path to give us all a better life
and now weve been together 1.5yr, gonna start booking our wedding next year, im due to have the baby in feb, my 2 kids love lee more than anything, and he treats them like his own which i could never have dreamed of.
overall i think im pretty happy with my life, there isnt anything id change in it at all
27-12-2006, 08:01 PM
#112
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Born February 1980 in Teeside
Lived in Co Durham, had a really good childhood, was quite spoilt had everything i wanted. Started school and hated it, All the way thru school never liked it, so did really crap at school.
Left School in 1996 and started a YTS, Found a good group of mates and went out and had a right laugh.
Left there in 1998 and worked in a factory, really hated that ! Was always out on drink with my mate Andrew.
Got myself a better job in a local Magistrates Court in 2000 and got into a serious relationship, got engaged etc etc everything was cool, then he managed to cheat on me Got rid of him and started going out to cruises and car meets more.
2003 - 2005, Was out every weekend in the car, met loads of mates, who now have been my mates for years ! Between this time was best time for car meets in Newcastle, used to have a good laugh. Met a bloke who i was with for a while, but wasent working so had to get out.
6 months after splitting with him i met Dave in February 2005, had a long distance relationship, managed to see each other every 2 weeks, going up and down the country
Moved down to Surrey to move in with Dave in October 2005, wont say its been an easy as it aint, had trouble from certain part of Dave's past, but i have now learnt to ignore it and get on with living my life with Dave
Got my Cossie in April 2006, one of the best days of my life as i have wanted one for a very long time
So i'm now happy living in Surrey with Dave, we in middle of sorting house the way we want it, decorating etc etc I'm working on my car as well as Dave moving forward with YUM.
And i look forward to getting engaged (When i stop smoking ) and planning our future together
Lived in Co Durham, had a really good childhood, was quite spoilt had everything i wanted. Started school and hated it, All the way thru school never liked it, so did really crap at school.
Left School in 1996 and started a YTS, Found a good group of mates and went out and had a right laugh.
Left there in 1998 and worked in a factory, really hated that ! Was always out on drink with my mate Andrew.
Got myself a better job in a local Magistrates Court in 2000 and got into a serious relationship, got engaged etc etc everything was cool, then he managed to cheat on me
Got rid of him and started going out to cruises and car meets more. 2003 - 2005, Was out every weekend in the car, met loads of mates, who now have been my mates for years ! Between this time was best time for car meets in Newcastle, used to have a good laugh. Met a bloke who i was with for a while, but wasent working so had to get out.
6 months after splitting with him i met Dave in February 2005, had a long distance relationship, managed to see each other every 2 weeks, going up and down the country
Moved down to Surrey to move in with Dave in October 2005, wont say its been an easy as it aint, had trouble from certain part of Dave's past, but i have now learnt to ignore it and get on with living my life with Dave
Got my Cossie in April 2006, one of the best days of my life as i have wanted one for a very long time
So i'm now happy living in Surrey with Dave, we in middle of sorting house the way we want it, decorating etc etc I'm working on my car as well as Dave moving forward with YUM.
And i look forward to getting engaged (When i stop smoking
) and planning our future together
27-12-2006, 09:07 PM
#113
i could write a book, as could plenty of otheres so far, but i don't think i would be able to lay myself open like so many of you have without the possibility of doing some serious porridge, there are terrible things lurking in my past that i could never get to grips with again
you know how they say never tell anyone you've done stuff if you don't want anyone to know about it? i might write it all down in a letter to enclose in my will, but after reading it people will either really love me or really hate me for the things i've done
better to let people decide based on the things i've done since then, on a whole different plateu since juniors been born and i know my ghosts won't come back to haunt me
the biggest thing i've had to overcome lately is the passing of my grandma, we were very very close, and, as one or two people know, i used to go and visit her every time i could, i went to see her to ell her i'd passed my coach test, i went to see her when she was laid up in hospital, i went to see her when she was in a home and spent a few hours with her even though no one else knew i was there (she didn't tell them either) and there was no way i could tell anyone else what we talked about, she was my gran
i've had lots of close mate die, some have died in accidents, some have been murdered, some have died from medical problems and i never felt that way
i didn't even feel that way when my mrs had a miscarriage, and, hard as it is to tell, it's impossible to explain to someone, or for someone to understand the feeling of seeing your little unborn child lying in the bottom of a hospital toilet bowl, there was no comprehension of what to do next, i just sat there in a daze like a zombie collapsed on the floor
even when they said they would not be able to recover the feotus as someone may have possibly missed it and flushed the toilet i was unmoved
it was like being detached from reality and watching everyting from a third persons perspective, like i was watching myself on film, on a big screen
i can't go back to that time because i have no recollection of what exactly happened and sometimes i'll be lying in bed at night and will wake up just to make sure junior is ok and he's breathing and he's ok, not too many blankets on him the heating is fine, there is nothing about to come out of the night and snatch him away from me because i don't think i could cope with that happening
and because he's been ill over the past few days, i've been even more anxious about stuff and don't get to sleep
when i see other people who take their kids for granted it's all i can do to stop myself from freaking out at the parents or taking the kids and giving them a cuddle to tell them that things will work out fine in the end just lke i would if it were my own
bloody hell, this has got longer than i though it would
i still think of my lost baby, i still celebrate the time of it's passing, potential birthdays and all that, think about the things i could have got as presents and all that, brings a smile to my face and tear to my eye but the ying and yang of it brings me peace
i would willingly have done anything i could have possibly could have done not to have had it happen, but moving on hasn't made me forget, it's made me remember and appreciate all the things i've had to cherish in my life and now i appreciate my son even more
this wasn't supposed to be a moody post, but it's that time of year again when i need a little chearing up, junior version 1 ceased to function new years day 2004, and even though no one else remembers my baby, (not even his mother acknowledges it but she understands why i get upset) thats not to say i don't
happy new year folks
you know how they say never tell anyone you've done stuff if you don't want anyone to know about it? i might write it all down in a letter to enclose in my will, but after reading it people will either really love me or really hate me for the things i've done
better to let people decide based on the things i've done since then, on a whole different plateu since juniors been born and i know my ghosts won't come back to haunt me
the biggest thing i've had to overcome lately is the passing of my grandma, we were very very close, and, as one or two people know, i used to go and visit her every time i could, i went to see her to ell her i'd passed my coach test, i went to see her when she was laid up in hospital, i went to see her when she was in a home and spent a few hours with her even though no one else knew i was there (she didn't tell them either) and there was no way i could tell anyone else what we talked about, she was my gran
i've had lots of close mate die, some have died in accidents, some have been murdered, some have died from medical problems and i never felt that way
i didn't even feel that way when my mrs had a miscarriage, and, hard as it is to tell, it's impossible to explain to someone, or for someone to understand the feeling of seeing your little unborn child lying in the bottom of a hospital toilet bowl, there was no comprehension of what to do next, i just sat there in a daze like a zombie collapsed on the floor
even when they said they would not be able to recover the feotus as someone may have possibly missed it and flushed the toilet i was unmoved
it was like being detached from reality and watching everyting from a third persons perspective, like i was watching myself on film, on a big screen
i can't go back to that time because i have no recollection of what exactly happened and sometimes i'll be lying in bed at night and will wake up just to make sure junior is ok and he's breathing and he's ok, not too many blankets on him the heating is fine, there is nothing about to come out of the night and snatch him away from me because i don't think i could cope with that happening
and because he's been ill over the past few days, i've been even more anxious about stuff and don't get to sleep
when i see other people who take their kids for granted it's all i can do to stop myself from freaking out at the parents or taking the kids and giving them a cuddle to tell them that things will work out fine in the end just lke i would if it were my own
bloody hell, this has got longer than i though it would
i still think of my lost baby, i still celebrate the time of it's passing, potential birthdays and all that, think about the things i could have got as presents and all that, brings a smile to my face and tear to my eye but the ying and yang of it brings me peace
i would willingly have done anything i could have possibly could have done not to have had it happen, but moving on hasn't made me forget, it's made me remember and appreciate all the things i've had to cherish in my life and now i appreciate my son even more
this wasn't supposed to be a moody post, but it's that time of year again when i need a little chearing up, junior version 1 ceased to function new years day 2004, and even though no one else remembers my baby, (not even his mother acknowledges it but she understands why i get upset) thats not to say i don't
happy new year folks
27-12-2006, 10:12 PM
#115
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Right as i have read other people past history i thought it only fair to stick mine up so here goes....
Born 1980: Parents didnt have alot and as small children my dad used to be ok so mum tells us.....
Grew up in Putney on a council estate where i witnessed some evil shit and even saw a dead body when i was about 4/5 yrs old....
Nan and grandad lived over the way, never really got on with them as i was always seen as the gobby one, no different now really...lol
We never had much, what we did have my old man found at the rubbish site he worked at...Or stole....I also had Black family even though i am white as a sheet and this was sometimes hard with people at school..... as i say we never had much and many presents at Christmas were stuff my brother had already had and his all from my sister....Family life was ok(i think)
1980-1990: Moved to Bracknell, Berkshire in 87 and things got bad with me and my dad, was beaten quite alot and always told i was shit...One time that sticks in my mind i was 7 and was being shouted at for something i cant now remember, as he was pushing me in the chest(dad) i was walking backwards towards the front door and i trod on my mums plastic plant pots and broke them, all i remember was my dad punching me in the face and when i came round he was standing over me telling me i was a pussy to be knocked out by such a soft punch!!! FFS i was 7.....
He was never in, always working and with other women....
He made us do everything at the house and were never allowed friends over, he was great to everyone else but to us lot he was a cunt, which made it hard to explain how he was to people as they always saw the great happy cockney lad.....
The sort of shit he used to do was sick, we were sent to our bedroom one day for getting dirty in the garden(me and bro) and we started to play with our remote cars, he could here we were making noise and came up and cut the cords on the remotes, smashed up my brothers Walkman and said, "now make some fucking noise"....
Things were still bad up till i was fourteen and after completely alienating my sister and telling her she was a mistake and the worst thing to happen to him, hitting me all the time and making my brother the carbon copy of him my mum finally plucked up the courage and told him to leave....
When he did he took everything and left my mum with me of 14, brother 16 and my sister of 18 who had already long gone.....
I by that time had stopped being hurt by the punches,slaps and kicks and just used to go numb to the pain.....
He left, me and mum moved in to a studio flat which was hard after having a decent sized 3 bed place...
I decided to make my own luck and finished school with decent grades and trained to be a mechanic....Passed in 98-99 and worked in a decent garage and had a good life. Was with a girl from 15 who was great and im still good friends with her even though we arnt together, she kinda went through the same as me with her step dad.....One time i was at hers and he threatened the hit her and i went ballistic, needless to say she moved out there and then and never returned....
We kept buying places together as the market went mad and made a few bob....Moved to Manchester together and decided that to move on we had to move apart...
Jump to now....Living in Manchester with Vicky who i met through my sister, she is great and even though i am a moody shit she puts up with me and we have now been together for 3 yrs.....
Love the gym have a good set of mates, a nice drift bmew e30 a few places(property) and some money in my pocket.....
Have no kids as i don't think i would be much good, im too much like him even though i try hard every day to stay normal and not to take the road he did.....I'm not effected in a massive way, i can deal with what i went through and it has made me the person i am....
My brother still has contact with him and he still lets him down all the time, My sister moved to the usa and seeked help from physiciatrist for what he had put her through, she is now living in Manchester a qualified lawyer and doing extremely well for herself, my mum now bankrupt as she tried so hard to pay off the debt lives in housing accommodation, but she is single and kinda happy....THANK FUCK
Loads i could have put but they are the points of interest im my life....Ive lost a few mates to drugs, had enough fights to last a life time and got my head kicked in more times then i care to remember, but hey so has most of the lads i know so no big deal....I just went through the usual shit as school.....and had the same teenage yrs as the rest of ya, trouble with police, drink and drugs....etc....
So thats me im now 26 and quite normal i think...
Born 1980: Parents didnt have alot and as small children my dad used to be ok so mum tells us.....
Grew up in Putney on a council estate where i witnessed some evil shit and even saw a dead body when i was about 4/5 yrs old....
Nan and grandad lived over the way, never really got on with them as i was always seen as the gobby one, no different now really...lol
We never had much, what we did have my old man found at the rubbish site he worked at...Or stole....I also had Black family even though i am white as a sheet and this was sometimes hard with people at school..... as i say we never had much and many presents at Christmas were stuff my brother had already had and his all from my sister....Family life was ok(i think)
1980-1990: Moved to Bracknell, Berkshire in 87 and things got bad with me and my dad, was beaten quite alot and always told i was shit...One time that sticks in my mind i was 7 and was being shouted at for something i cant now remember, as he was pushing me in the chest(dad) i was walking backwards towards the front door and i trod on my mums plastic plant pots and broke them, all i remember was my dad punching me in the face and when i came round he was standing over me telling me i was a pussy to be knocked out by such a soft punch!!! FFS i was 7.....
He was never in, always working and with other women....
He made us do everything at the house and were never allowed friends over, he was great to everyone else but to us lot he was a cunt, which made it hard to explain how he was to people as they always saw the great happy cockney lad.....
The sort of shit he used to do was sick, we were sent to our bedroom one day for getting dirty in the garden(me and bro) and we started to play with our remote cars, he could here we were making noise and came up and cut the cords on the remotes, smashed up my brothers Walkman and said, "now make some fucking noise"....
Things were still bad up till i was fourteen and after completely alienating my sister and telling her she was a mistake and the worst thing to happen to him, hitting me all the time and making my brother the carbon copy of him my mum finally plucked up the courage and told him to leave....
When he did he took everything and left my mum with me of 14, brother 16 and my sister of 18 who had already long gone.....
I by that time had stopped being hurt by the punches,slaps and kicks and just used to go numb to the pain.....
He left, me and mum moved in to a studio flat which was hard after having a decent sized 3 bed place...
I decided to make my own luck and finished school with decent grades and trained to be a mechanic....Passed in 98-99 and worked in a decent garage and had a good life. Was with a girl from 15 who was great and im still good friends with her even though we arnt together, she kinda went through the same as me with her step dad.....One time i was at hers and he threatened the hit her and i went ballistic, needless to say she moved out there and then and never returned....
We kept buying places together as the market went mad and made a few bob....Moved to Manchester together and decided that to move on we had to move apart...
Jump to now....Living in Manchester with Vicky who i met through my sister, she is great and even though i am a moody shit she puts up with me and we have now been together for 3 yrs.....
Love the gym have a good set of mates, a nice drift bmew e30 a few places(property) and some money in my pocket.....
Have no kids as i don't think i would be much good, im too much like him even though i try hard every day to stay normal and not to take the road he did.....I'm not effected in a massive way, i can deal with what i went through and it has made me the person i am....
My brother still has contact with him and he still lets him down all the time, My sister moved to the usa and seeked help from physiciatrist for what he had put her through, she is now living in Manchester a qualified lawyer and doing extremely well for herself, my mum now bankrupt as she tried so hard to pay off the debt lives in housing accommodation, but she is single and kinda happy....THANK FUCK
Loads i could have put but they are the points of interest im my life....Ive lost a few mates to drugs, had enough fights to last a life time and got my head kicked in more times then i care to remember, but hey so has most of the lads i know so no big deal....I just went through the usual shit as school.....and had the same teenage yrs as the rest of ya, trouble with police, drink and drugs....etc....
So thats me im now 26 and quite normal i think...
27-12-2006, 10:33 PM
#116
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Originally Posted by grimreaper
Originally Posted by big bad al
Born 21st December 1978
had a wicked childhood up until 1990 when i started secondry school i was bullied everyday for 4 years until a lad put me in hospital. When i went back to school i took a hunting knife with me,found him and as i tried to stab him i was stopped by the teachers.The last year i was there i was like a ghost the bullying stopped but no one not even my friends i did have would come near me cos they thought i was a pyscho.
Left school in 1995 and got my first job on a chicken farm but left after a couple of months cos i moved in with my dad which turned out to be a big mistake cos i found out what sort of man he was (alcoholic woman beater)
1997 i started working full time on the farm i'd worked on part time since i was 13 and im still there to this day
2000 after being a 'jack the lad' i settled down in my own house with my first serious GF but we split in 2003 so went back to shagging anything that moved til Xmas of that year when i met Natalie
2004 Nat moved in after 1 month of us meeting,she fell pregnant in May but left me in August and thats when i turned to cocaine,i was seriously depressed and tried to commit suicide twice.
2005 my daughter was born in February but i didn't get to see her much due to me and Nat hating each other
2006 everything going well then got better in October when me and Nat got back together and i kicked my cocaine habit and finally got over my depression
things ain't perfect with me and Nat but we're working through it. i have a problem trusting her cos of her leaving me for someone else in 2004 but in time im sure the trust will come back and she does understand this
Me and Nat both think 2007 will be 'our year' we'll finally iron out the problems in our relationship and become even better parents to our daughter
had a wicked childhood up until 1990 when i started secondry school i was bullied everyday for 4 years until a lad put me in hospital. When i went back to school i took a hunting knife with me,found him and as i tried to stab him i was stopped by the teachers.The last year i was there i was like a ghost the bullying stopped but no one not even my friends i did have would come near me cos they thought i was a pyscho.
Left school in 1995 and got my first job on a chicken farm but left after a couple of months cos i moved in with my dad which turned out to be a big mistake cos i found out what sort of man he was (alcoholic woman beater)
1997 i started working full time on the farm i'd worked on part time since i was 13 and im still there to this day
2000 after being a 'jack the lad' i settled down in my own house with my first serious GF but we split in 2003 so went back to shagging anything that moved til Xmas of that year when i met Natalie
2004 Nat moved in after 1 month of us meeting,she fell pregnant in May but left me in August and thats when i turned to cocaine,i was seriously depressed and tried to commit suicide twice.
2005 my daughter was born in February but i didn't get to see her much due to me and Nat hating each other
2006 everything going well then got better in October when me and Nat got back together and i kicked my cocaine habit and finally got over my depression
things ain't perfect with me and Nat but we're working through it. i have a problem trusting her cos of her leaving me for someone else in 2004 but in time im sure the trust will come back and she does understand this
Me and Nat both think 2007 will be 'our year' we'll finally iron out the problems in our relationship and become even better parents to our daughter
you sound like a good man , what i have got to know you over the past months on PASSION FORD , and i would be honored to call you a friend if we ever met up in real life
cheers buddy!! it would be a pleasure to meet you
17-02-2007, 10:51 PM
#117
WOW!! Some great stories here, sorry ive not been around to hear them... had my own problems since Xmas what with teh death of Nicole's 57yr old father, My 16yr old daughters pregnancy and my 12yr old daughters suicide attempt... Oh, ive been really busy at work too... 
Joe... I could have written that same story about my father. I feel your pain and dissapointment pal.
Joe... I could have written that same story about my father. I feel your pain and dissapointment pal.
17-02-2007, 10:52 PM
#118
Re: [Lets Talk] Birth To present day. Your Highs and Lows...
Originally Posted by Stu @ M Developments
My outlook is now "almost" 100% POSITIVE and i cant fooking wait for 2007 and its various challenges. Bring it on.
17-02-2007, 11:04 PM
#119
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Originally Posted by Stu @ M Developments
WOW!! Some great stories here, sorry ive not been around to hear them... had my own problems since Xmas what with the death of Nicole's 57yr old father, My 16yr old daughters pregnancy and my 12yr old daughters suicide attempt... Oh, ive been really busy at work too...
Although we have met i dont really know you, but if you ever need the shoulder of an "outsider" im only a PM/phonecall away.
Good luck for the rest of 2007 to you and nicole, lets hope things are on the up!
17-02-2007, 11:09 PM
#120
Thanks Andy, appreciated pal. Actually, i think everytime we have met, for some reason if been in a really bad mood too. Sorry pal...
The girls are ok, The eldest is happy, so we have just moved her and her fella out of her bedsit and into a nice house.
The youngest lives with her mum who apparently saw no warning signs, but shes being badly bullied and wont tell us who by. I feel helpkless and very angry.
On a plus point, Stu @ BSC has got us going to Karate to improve her confidence and its helping her no end, but i had to go and learn it with her as an incentive. lesson No: 2 is at at 10am.
The girls are ok, The eldest is happy, so we have just moved her and her fella out of her bedsit and into a nice house.
The youngest lives with her mum who apparently saw no warning signs, but shes being badly bullied and wont tell us who by. I feel helpkless and very angry.
On a plus point, Stu @ BSC has got us going to Karate to improve her confidence and its helping her no end, but i had to go and learn it with her as an incentive. lesson No: 2 is at at 10am.