has just happened

one of my dads pisshead mates has just knocked on the door

the conversation went along the lines of:

pissyhead:"mumble mubble is your dad in mumble mumble?"

me:"yes"

pissyhead:"mumble mumble"

me:"but he's asleep"

pissyhead:"mumble? mumble! mumble mumble <produces fag> just walking home past your house and saw the light on <wink wink> mumble mumble <hint hint> mumble sluring"

pissyhead:"?"

pissyhead:"if you could help me mumble"

me:"let me see"

me:"have we got any matches?"

wife:"we have an electric cooker and a torch, why do we need matches?"

mum:"close the door in his face, we don't want his sort here, your dad would kick his arse if you wake him up, tell him to push off"

me:"no, we don't have any matches sorry"

pissyhead:<looks at fag which he's dropped and it's now wet> "mumble mumble" <approches door> "listen sonny, i would mumble appreciate mumble slur mumble slur" <looks like he's about to camp outside the door

me:<looking around all emberresed i spy a lighter in the picture rail and hand it over to him>

pissyhead:<burns finger and can't light the fag, figures out it's wet, dries it out with the flame, snaps the end off, sparks up, smoke goes everywhere in the house>

me:<close the door in his face, turn lights off>

don't know weather i should laugh or just tell the old man in the morning and see what happens
i know my old dear won't let him come down the stairs without proclaiming it all across the town

 

pmsl, you certainly paint a good picture of the fella/convo

 

if i knew how to use some of the things to make the words different colours and stuff , t would have been much better

i di dend up finding the air freshener and spraying a liberal dose of it, inside AND outside the house, just to make sure