Reasons/Excuses for not going to work tomorrow?
05-11-2006, 11:19 PM
#1
PassionFord Post Whore!!
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Reasons/Excuses for not going to work tomorrow?
Boooooooo! The weekend is over already an I just dont wanna go back to work. 
So come on people lets hear your best/funniest reasons or excuses not to go in!!
So come on people lets hear your best/funniest reasons or excuses not to go in!!
06-11-2006, 12:01 AM
#6
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I shoved a milk bottle up me jacksie. Me boyfreind smashed it good and proper with his size 10 steel toecap boot so I'm running to the bog everry five minutes to shit the shards out. You can take a look if you like.
I swallowed a pair of scissors by accident.
I was picking my nose whilst driving and was rear ended by a dustbin lorry. It caused me to poke me eye out but the main damage was done by trying to scratch the bogey off the back of me eyeball.
I swallowed a pair of scissors by accident.
I was picking my nose whilst driving and was rear ended by a dustbin lorry. It caused me to poke me eye out but the main damage was done by trying to scratch the bogey off the back of me eyeball.
06-11-2006, 12:04 AM
#7
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The key is to make it that bizarre that they dont ask for proof
I did a Wrong Thing and the voices say I have to stay in and cut myself.
The mere sight of your oily, pallid, queasy, bloated face reminds me of a drowned baby and sickens me to the very core of my being.
Work, like, sucks, and stuff... y'know?
I have formed a powerful vacuum between my rectum and my ride-on sex aid and so cannot get off until nanny orders me to "dismount pony!"
I am on eBay bidding for a ticket to be adopted by Madonna.
I am hopelessly depressed by the grey, empty futility of existence and the void of wanton drive-by pointlessness that characterises your puny fucking job.
All my socks are full of cum.
I have to bury all the dead prostitutes that are in my shed they are sectreating ming juice onto the patio and the smell is attracting Kebab sellers
I did a Wrong Thing and the voices say I have to stay in and cut myself.
The mere sight of your oily, pallid, queasy, bloated face reminds me of a drowned baby and sickens me to the very core of my being.
Work, like, sucks, and stuff... y'know?
I have formed a powerful vacuum between my rectum and my ride-on sex aid and so cannot get off until nanny orders me to "dismount pony!"
I am on eBay bidding for a ticket to be adopted by Madonna.
I am hopelessly depressed by the grey, empty futility of existence and the void of wanton drive-by pointlessness that characterises your puny fucking job.
All my socks are full of cum.
I have to bury all the dead prostitutes that are in my shed they are sectreating ming juice onto the patio and the smell is attracting Kebab sellers
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06-11-2006, 12:14 AM
#8
Originally Posted by Matt J
The key is to make it that bizarre that they dont ask for proof
I did a Wrong Thing and the voices say I have to stay in and cut myself.
The mere sight of your oily, pallid, queasy, bloated face reminds me of a drowned baby and sickens me to the very core of my being.
Work, like, sucks, and stuff... y'know?
I have formed a powerful vacuum between my rectum and my ride-on sex aid and so cannot get off until nanny orders me to "dismount pony!"
I am on eBay bidding for a ticket to be adopted by Madonna.
I am hopelessly depressed by the grey, empty futility of existence and the void of wanton drive-by pointlessness that characterises your puny fucking job.
All my socks are full of cum.
I have to bury all the dead prostitutes that are in my shed they are sectreating ming juice onto the patio and the smell is attracting Kebab sellers
I did a Wrong Thing and the voices say I have to stay in and cut myself.
The mere sight of your oily, pallid, queasy, bloated face reminds me of a drowned baby and sickens me to the very core of my being.
Work, like, sucks, and stuff... y'know?
I have formed a powerful vacuum between my rectum and my ride-on sex aid and so cannot get off until nanny orders me to "dismount pony!"
I am on eBay bidding for a ticket to be adopted by Madonna.
I am hopelessly depressed by the grey, empty futility of existence and the void of wanton drive-by pointlessness that characterises your puny fucking job.
All my socks are full of cum.
I have to bury all the dead prostitutes that are in my shed they are sectreating ming juice onto the patio and the smell is attracting Kebab sellers
really have issues
06-11-2006, 12:15 AM
#9
PassionFord Post Whore!!
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Tell them you have an appointment at your local Genitary Urinary (GUM) Clinic and it could take some time as you need testing for EVERYTHING after an 'accident' with a prostitute on Saturday night.
There's no way they'll ask questions, esp if its a woman boss lol
There's no way they'll ask questions, esp if its a woman boss lol
06-11-2006, 12:29 AM
#10
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Originally Posted by Clare
Tell them you have an appointment at your local Genitary Urinary (GUM) Clinic and it could take some time as you need testing for EVERYTHING after an 'accident' with a prostitute on Saturday night.
There's no way they'll ask questions, esp if its a woman boss lol
There's no way they'll ask questions, esp if its a woman boss lol
"I picked-up a galloping dose of cockrot from a teenage rentboy and have to go to the clinic for the wire-brush-and-dettol routine"
They'll be queing up to check that one out, not!!
20-11-2006, 05:45 PM
#12
excuses
I thought it was a bank holiday
I'm sick, sick of the job
I'm on jury service, (standing in the dock really)
I've been abducted by aliens, i'm somewhere between mars and the milky way at the moment, don't know when i'll be back,
I went to a kinky sex dungeon, never again they kept me locked up for a few days,
Luciano
I'm sick, sick of the job
I'm on jury service, (standing in the dock really)
I've been abducted by aliens, i'm somewhere between mars and the milky way at the moment, don't know when i'll be back,
I went to a kinky sex dungeon, never again they kept me locked up for a few days,
Luciano
20-11-2006, 06:03 PM
#15
Legend
I'm playing golf.
You need to call me then, not work.
Originally Posted by Nath
I've still got my hand up my arse and the dog wont take its todger out of my mouth.
I think I need help!
I think I need help!
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