Loads of crappy old jokes, if ya bored:
20-10-2006, 10:19 PM
#1
Loads of crappy old jokes, if ya bored:
Just clearing out my old phone, here's some crappy old jokes for ya:
Which is the odd one out?
1: Toaster
2: Washing machine
3: Dish washer
4: Woman
Answer =
A Toaster... it's the only one that doesn't drip when it's fucked
Did you hear?
Aliens are coming to take away all the good looking people. Don't worry you're safe. I just messaged to say goodbye
To make it stand you must make it wet
To make it wet you must suck it
To make it stiff you must lick it
To get it in you must push it
Damn threading a needle at our age is no joke
Two heroin addicts injected curry powder by accident last night
And were rushed to hospital.
One's got a dodgy Tikka, the other's in a Korma
Q) What's the similarity between John Prescott and an MFI Flatpack kit?
A few screws and the whole fucking Cabinet falls apart
Paddy's in bed with the wife
The phone rings at 3am, Paddy answers and says
"Why don't you ring the fucking Met Office?"
Wife asks "Who's that?"
Paddy replies "Some silly fucker asking if the coast is clear"
Man goes to a fancy dress party
wearing just a jam jar on his penis. Lady asks "What are you?"
He replies "A Fireman. Break class, pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can"
A man gives blood to save his girlfriend's life
They split up and he asks for it back. She throws him a used Tampax and says "I'll pay you back monthly you bastard"
I'll get my coat
Si
Which is the odd one out?
1: Toaster
2: Washing machine
3: Dish washer
4: Woman
Answer =
A Toaster... it's the only one that doesn't drip when it's fucked
Did you hear?
Aliens are coming to take away all the good looking people. Don't worry you're safe. I just messaged to say goodbye
To make it stand you must make it wet
To make it wet you must suck it
To make it stiff you must lick it
To get it in you must push it
Damn threading a needle at our age is no joke
Two heroin addicts injected curry powder by accident last night
And were rushed to hospital.
One's got a dodgy Tikka, the other's in a Korma
Q) What's the similarity between John Prescott and an MFI Flatpack kit?
A few screws and the whole fucking Cabinet falls apart
Paddy's in bed with the wife
The phone rings at 3am, Paddy answers and says
"Why don't you ring the fucking Met Office?"
Wife asks "Who's that?"
Paddy replies "Some silly fucker asking if the coast is clear"
Man goes to a fancy dress party
wearing just a jam jar on his penis. Lady asks "What are you?"
He replies "A Fireman. Break class, pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can"
A man gives blood to save his girlfriend's life
They split up and he asks for it back. She throws him a used Tampax and says "I'll pay you back monthly you bastard"
I'll get my coat
Si
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