This should make you feel better about your computer skills! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: ! ; Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello.. I can't! print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you ha ve a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I! 'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: A re you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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And last but not least...

Tech support:"Okay Bob , let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!


I like number 7 the best

 

Get loads more at www.techtales.com.

Or post your own horror stories.

 

Number 10 made me smile

There all good though

 

 

i see worse every day

had a great one today, PA didnt understand why her laptop couldnt connect to the network....
...YOU HAVE TO PLUG IN THE CABLE YOU SILLY COW

this is the same woman who rang up and told us her laptop was working for a few hours then it switched off and it wouldnt come back on...
...i'm not even going to bother writing the punchline to that one

 

Not IT, but I used to work for a rather large UK cruise company and one day a sweet lil ol' lady rang up and wanted to know if the inside cabins on the ship had balconies. I didn't know whether the laugh or cry.

 

i think i would have done both

as in

laugh....fall off chair

then cry

 

Best one was the one where the guy can't get his machine to power up.

After trying loads of things the tech support asks if it is plugged in to witch the guy replies "I can't see. it's to dark and the powers out in the building"