whats the stupidest thing your mrs has ever said?
17-05-2006, 07:14 PM
#1
whats the stupidest thing your mrs has ever said?
she had to go a long way to beat "why are we visiting this place if they haven't finished building it yet?" (the colleseum in rome) but i think she outdid herself tonight
"is he the manager of aresnal?"
"who?"
"that bloke with the angry face"
"huh?"
"it's all red"
"alex ferguson?"
"thats the one, who does he manage?"
"man utd"
"thats the team that arsenal are playing to night right? the italian one?"
there are not enough
on this forum
"is he the manager of aresnal?"
"who?"
"that bloke with the angry face"
"huh?"
"it's all red"
"alex ferguson?"
"thats the one, who does he manage?"
"man utd"
"thats the team that arsenal are playing to night right? the italian one?"
there are not enough
on this forum
17-05-2006, 07:22 PM
#6
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"if u think about it,without a filling a sandwich is just 2 slices of bread"...she just blurted it out.but actualy thought she was being clever and insightful!
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17-05-2006, 07:24 PM
#8
Professional Waffler
My mates missus on helping some friend move into their house.
Mate 1: Nice house
Mate 2: Yeah, need to get rid of the polystyrene ceiling tiles though in the kitchen.
Mate 1's missus: What's a polystyrene ceiling tile?
Mate 1: Nice house
Mate 2: Yeah, need to get rid of the polystyrene ceiling tiles though in the kitchen.
Mate 1's missus: What's a polystyrene ceiling tile?
17-05-2006, 07:28 PM
#12
my inlaws have a boat on Loch Lomond. one day when going out on a sail it was slightly choppy , the father in law was busy sorting the anchor chain and the mother in law decided she would help. she grabbed the steering wheel and was struggling to keep control. When asked what she was doing , she said she was trying to hold the boat still.
17-05-2006, 07:29 PM
#13
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Upon looking out the window one morning when it was raining she asked
"If I cycle to work will I get wet?"
But doesn't beat my mates missus who whilst watching the TV one night in winter remarked
"I'm shivering like a brick!"
Dear Lord
"If I cycle to work will I get wet?"
But doesn't beat my mates missus who whilst watching the TV one night in winter remarked
"I'm shivering like a brick!"
Dear Lord
17-05-2006, 07:30 PM
#14
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i have to say, it's satisfing knowing there are plenty out there that come out with stupid things like i do at times.
my latest was meant to be a joke/saying i'd heard on teh radio whilst the b/f was in the garage.
It was 4th May and they were saying its a great day to say "May the 4th be with you". So the b/f gets into the car with his mate and i come out with March the 4th be with you!! needless to say they both looked very confused then cracked up at my mistake!! They havent let me live it down since!!!
my latest was meant to be a joke/saying i'd heard on teh radio whilst the b/f was in the garage.
It was 4th May and they were saying its a great day to say "May the 4th be with you". So the b/f gets into the car with his mate and i come out with March the 4th be with you!! needless to say they both looked very confused then cracked up at my mistake!! They havent let me live it down since!!!
17-05-2006, 07:35 PM
#18
Professional Waffler
I poked one of the girls at work in the ribs to make her jump and squeal. She didn't jump at all which I found disappointing. She then announced in the middle of the office that she didn't jump because "she is used to perverts like me sticking things in her!". I nearly wet myself and she went bright red. Classic
17-05-2006, 07:54 PM
#20
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Wifey bought some cards with words on to teach the little lad to understand words spelling etc, unpacks the cards and lays them out for our son to match cards.
Picks one up, looks at me confused and says "dn?? dn's not a word" it was the card with the word "up" she had in her hand upside down FFS!!
Picks one up, looks at me confused and says "dn?? dn's not a word" it was the card with the word "up" she had in her hand upside down
FFS!!
17-05-2006, 07:56 PM
#21
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Originally Posted by st3v3
"will you marry me" 
i did laugh too though!!
17-05-2006, 07:58 PM
#23
Professional Waffler
Originally Posted by Racey
Originally Posted by st3v3
"will you marry me"
i did laugh too though!!
17-05-2006, 08:03 PM
#24
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wow i know i say some silly things but can't think of any recent ones!!
but my friend stephanie says stuff like the above all the time her latest lines are:
do cherries develop in trees or in tins???
and
were people alive in the 1600s??
bless her, she knows what she means but no one else does
but my friend stephanie says stuff like the above all the time her latest lines are:
do cherries develop in trees or in tins???
and
were people alive in the 1600s??
bless her, she knows what she means but no one else does
17-05-2006, 08:05 PM
#26
Wahay!! I've lost my Virginity!!
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A conversation i overheard at work the other week
mate A: are you any good at carpentry?
Mate B: i don't know, i've never fitted a carpet before
The question I asked myself was, where do we find these people!
mate A: are you any good at carpentry?
Mate B: i don't know, i've never fitted a carpet before
The question I asked myself was, where do we find these people!
17-05-2006, 08:24 PM
#29
Years ago a load of us were going to the pictures on a Sunday night...
On the way to the cinema we walked as it was
outside....
I rang up to see about times. Showings were 8.45, 9.10, 9.35 and 10.05
So we decided for the 9.10 showing....
THEN.....
One dumb bird who was with us turns round and says.....
Film isn't that long it is!!
I almost died with laughter!
On the way to the cinema we walked as it was
outside....I rang up to see about times. Showings were 8.45, 9.10, 9.35 and 10.05
So we decided for the 9.10 showing....
THEN.....
One dumb bird who was with us turns round and says.....
Film isn't that long it is!!
I almost died with laughter!
17-05-2006, 08:24 PM
#30
Originally Posted by ballin
ask em how the steering wheel works, guaranteed a good answer 
i've been married almost 3 years now and she still doesn't understand cruise control either "it's a car, how can you accelerate without using your feet? or do you twist the steering wheel like i do on the scooter?"
bless her, she's a good sort though
i still can't work out our washing machine 
one mroe thing, yesterday she was going out when it was raining (to go and buy a sewing machine of all things) and asked "should i wear my coat?"
"no dear, i'll see you back in about 30 seconds"
17-05-2006, 08:25 PM
#31
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Was watching the telly with my fella and the Queen was doing some speech, I wasn't paying much attention...
Him: God, can't believe she's doing that, its just wrong!
Me: What, she's only talking?
Him: She's talking in French though...
Me: Oh, I thought I couldn't understand what she was saying cos she was talking posh
And so many more...
Was shopping with a friend, when she came out with:
"My friend had a baby today, I need to buy it some clothes. How old will it be in 3months?"
Him: God, can't believe she's doing that, its just wrong!
Me: What, she's only talking?
Him: She's talking in French though...
Me: Oh, I thought I couldn't understand what she was saying cos she was talking posh
And so many more...
Was shopping with a friend, when she came out with:
"My friend had a baby today, I need to buy it some clothes. How old will it be in 3months?"
17-05-2006, 08:27 PM
#32
Professional Waffler
pmsl at the washing machine. My missus told me to load the washing machine. I said I would but she'd have to program the video to tape Eastenders. She disappeared and came back a bit later and took the laundry off me and told me to program the video. She was trying to program it with the DVD player remote
17-05-2006, 08:37 PM
#33
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I was driving in to the multi storey car park with my wife and we pass under the metal height restriction thing that they have and she says "if they made that taller you could get higher vans in here" I cracked up and had to explain that it was the lowest height of the car park once inside!! 
17-05-2006, 08:43 PM
#34
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the best one iv ever heard of was a girl that went in to her locle garage and asked for a 701 lid the lad looked puzzeled and asked her to show him she lifted the bonet and pointed at the roker cover and it was then that he realised she ment ( OIL ) filler cap
17-05-2006, 08:51 PM
#35
Professional Waffler
Originally Posted by dave cos4x4
some of them....
mates gf phoned him up once because she had a flat tyre...its not too bad she said, its only flat at the bottom!
mates gf phoned him up once because she had a flat tyre...its not too bad she said, its only flat at the bottom!
17-05-2006, 09:00 PM
#36
Professional Waffler
Don't know about daft comments but ladies are daft to beleive some of what we tell them.
My missus believed me when I said I would still respect her after we slept together
She is going to kill me if she reads that
My missus believed me when I said I would still respect her after we slept together
She is going to kill me if she reads that
17-05-2006, 09:09 PM
#37
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I remember taking my ex to the bank, and she asked for a certain amount out of her account.
When they say to you "how would you like it?" she replied:
"Oh, money please"
She wasn't the brightest spark!
When they say to you "how would you like it?" she replied:
"Oh, money please"
She wasn't the brightest spark!
