Girls wanna know what us men really think?
08-02-2006, 10:30 AM
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Girls wanna know what us men really think?
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a
problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible
in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways and one of
the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell
us how you want it
done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you
have to say during
commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do
that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We
will act think nothing's
wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything
you wear Is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
Or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping.
The End!!
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a
problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible
in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways and one of
the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell
us how you want it
done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you
have to say during
commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do
that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We
will act think nothing's
wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything
you wear Is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
Or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping.
The End!!
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