Has a lot to answer for!

Got off with a couple of birds far too young for me (like im not even sure they were legal) in some dodgy nigtclub down by the beach, fook knows how they got in there in the first place, and ive just got home and have no idea at all whjere my phone is and ive got a vague recolection that ive just let my mates little sisters friend toss me off in the car on the way home

My head is pounding like fook and im really not looking forward to waking up an seeing what it feels ike then

not felt this rough fora long time

if anyone gets a rnadom cal from my phone, its not me
b

 

It was a good night then huh?

 

i cant fooking rmember, and ive only just got in
not been thisfucking wtechjed for a very long time, proper fucking hangin

 

Jack D always answers the questions i ask it lol Wasnt on it tonight but been there many many times before. As has my good friend COWBOI!
As you can tell good night for us too

 

Oh dear, by the sound of it you wernt ordering it by the shot, but by the bottle!

Think of it this way mate. u may have lost ur fone, but at least u got a hand job!

 

By the bottle is the only way nowadays thats what i say! 70cl bottles tend to do some damge in just about every way though

 

Had abottle ofit ay my mates flat beweofe we went out and must havedone best part of an optic of it too at the club, all thecujts i was with just kept handing me it all night

hanging

 

ps

bitch kept mutteringf something about her bofriend and didnt even want to swallow until given no choice

 

looks like it was the biggest optic ever made!

 

Haven't you got a girlfriend?

 

call me a silly billy....but whats an optic

i ONLY do by the bottle

 

chip a motto for u mate!

old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.


dont worry about the boyfriend, just run him down in the custard cossie!

 

custard cossie? surely a cussie?

 

AFPMSL!

Can safely say I've never been quite THAT bad on vodka, even after a litre!

 

nhah, i dumped the mrs last month mate

 

they all fucking bleed if you shag em up arse till tehy split mate

 

Optics are the bottles you see upside-down in bars, with the measuring device at the bottom......the "good" ones come in 1.5 litre versions!

 

so ur mates little sisters friend now has her brown wings im guessing?

 

nah not from me mate, was in back of someones car who just dropped me vack home )thnk it was mates sistes fella) and wasnt option to shag it

 

thats the oens, lads i was with kept giving me pint glasses half full and saying "down this"

 

In that case, I'm surprised you can work out which of the hundreds of keyboards you can no doubt see floating around your room you need to type on!

Don't envy your hangover in the morning!

 

if i was you i'd get a few pints of water down ur neck!

and follow them with a nice kebab!

 

amazinly i still seem to be able to see straignt. onlh one keybroad, although screen is litte fuzzyy
scared to go to sleep cause know whati t will feel like in mroning!

 

think it mgiht be foe the best if it dont drive up the kevav shop rifht now!

 

See straight yeah lol

 

The water may be a good idea, though!

 

ring ur mates sisters boyfriend up and ask him for a lift to the shops and tell him if he does u wont get on his bird again.
and if he dont let him know u cant be held responsable for the concequences!

 

OR get on the JD and do an all nighter.

 

now theres and idea.
give me ur address and i'll come round with a bottle in hand!

 

 

Ohhhhhhh Jack D,s has a lot to answer for with me as well lol

Cut a long story short fell into 6 front gardens tried hitting on a married woman had to look after my mate as he was in a worse state than me and took 5 hours to get home which was only 20 mins away

Oh and forgot where i left my car too

 

chip ur spelling might be a bit better morning fpml
trying to type when wrecked

 

If he makes it out of bed or wherever he ended up

 

can't wait to see the continuation of this later

 

See straight , , Yeah ya spelling was impeccable there Chip

 

AFPMSL

Nice to know I wasnt the only piss head on here last night

 

fuck that lol, his sundays gonna be interesting

 

Looks like Itsmeagain all over again

Its great what you imagine when drunk

The truth...(Chip)

Went to a bar on my own after drinking at home half the day,then went to club and sat in the corner...drinking much JD.....i thought 2 youngs girls came over and i got off with them only to find they were young boys and later found out i was in a gay club.Got taxi home and cant remember clearly but i am sure i let the driver wank me off fore the fare,i think he went to spit but i said no swallow thats your tip.

ROFL

 

fpmsl

 

hopefully its made up phil or we have a possible paedophile amongst us

regards mark