Funny thing happened the other day at work. Enjoy

Had a driver turn up the other day and ive seen him a couple time so we were chatting away.
Whiles i was unloading him we got onto the subjects of my van, cars and engines. I was telling him how much i loves Jays old S2 and how initially it made an impressive 300+hp on the rollers.
This however lead to him telling me his 'mate' had a over 500HP Escort RS Turbo. Now of course i was confused so asked what engine he used, expecting him to say YB, Duratec or even at least a Zetec Turbo but no. He 'had' 500 horses from a CVH!!! When i then explained to him that that sort of power from a 1.6 CVH is pretty much impossible and that the most powerfull CVH i know of is around 360bhp and belongs to Jamsport. He said "seriously its really quick. In the rain he cant drive it cause if he touches the pedal in the slightest he skids off the road". When i politely told him he was talking bollocks he told me its EASY TO DO! I said "what, on a standard CVH?" He said "yer he didnt change much". Well of course i couldn't wait to discover this sort of knowledge so i stopped the forktruck, put the pallet down, turned the motor off and asked how. Now brace yourselves guys as your all gonna feel really stupid after i tell you cause it soo fucking simple but no one else has done it........


......."all he done was turned the turbo down from the cockpit and put a chip on it. THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO"

So there you have it guys. Dont you all feel silly for not doing this? So stop turning your boost up, turn it DOWN! Apparently theres something inside the car that comes as standard that can turn your boost down, the put a 'chip' on it then hey presto, 500bhp

 

wow sick, notted

 

You can't blame the guy... As he's been fed the shit.!

 

try working with a guy who is adamant his NA mr2 cant possibly get traction at santa pod as its sooooo powerful, is running 200bhp cos he has fitted a 5 inch tailpipe with decat, and hes gonna fit throttle bodies as they can be done all in for Ł200 and the ecu doesnt need a remap! ive given up and just nod and smile now!

 

i used to run at york with a load of lads with MR2 Turbos, they launch like fuck, standard ish (boost tweaked) MR2T will do 12`s all day long

a decat and huge backbox on an n/a MR2 will make it sooooooooooo slow, the lack of back pressure will create so many problems its not even worth going into a discussion..........

the best answer is a very swift but powerfull crack to the lower jaw whilst he is talking shit, thus knocking him out and you are free from bollocks for about 2-3 mins

 

naaah, we just roll about laughing when he fails noise tests at track days and grins, thinking it means hes too powerful!

 

Just popping to the garage to get my 500bhp

 

Can the same be done to a cossie engine?

 

Check the tyre pressures on my tardis while you there

 

Ooooo errrrrr. Bet he loves seeing you lol


Didn't Sitechs ERS have massive power before it was written off?

 

I knew someone a few years ago who swore blind their XR3i had bored out pistons, I never did figure out how it all worked....

 

What chip did he use OP?

Was it a Mccain by any chance..good chips apparently.