SOme of you will know that my wedding is a week tomorrow

I'm not really nervous about it at all bar one thing, the fucking first dance

As a rule i cant/dont/wont EVER dance as its not cool

I'm not a big fan of this centre of attention shit with everyone watching me and taking the piss. At our engagement the dj made a cunt of us with a silly song and i was NOT happy

Anyway what the bloody hell can we have as first dance to help me out here? btw she's no dancer either!

Do we have something short and sweet?
Sway together and look like twats?
Learn something like a tango or such?

It was even suggested to have the birdie song or something comical


Any suggestions?

chop

ps no dirty dancing thanks

 

or how about the hokey cokey?

 

you need this.

 

Just have a slow song where you hold onto each other and only move around slightly, and get a couple of mates to "rescue" you by dragging his bird onto the dancefloor halfway through and others will too so you will soon disappear into the crowd!

 

ours was old eric clapton song - smoochy but short so "swayed like twats" for short a time as possible...

Mates was the best - they had a smoochy song picked out but he had a quiet word with the DJ who put "once step beyond" on my madness and he (groom) burst out from behind DJ booth with the full Suggs gear on - class act

 

Just sway around like t@@ts, thats what most people do. Anyway if werythings going well you will of had that much booze you won't care what you look like.
Just enjoy the day.

 

do wat Chip said........do it for a minute or so....then people can get pics then get a mate to come on and save ya lol

 

You'll be fine chop , the missus and i had paul weller - you do something to me.

 

you obviously dont know my mates! they'd far rather leave me there like a right twat and enjoy it becuase they know i hate the dancing!!


so any sensible ideas and short songs to "sway like a twat" too?


KSA
thats a good idea. How long is it? LOL

 

I sympathise totally mate, I'm getting married in just over a year and already this subject is getting on my tits. No interested in dancing either - more of a drinker. She likes to cut some shapes tho, so I'm under a bit of pressure as she's wantin something spectacular.

Brickin it.

I don't like the whole attention thing either, the only thing doing my tits in more than the 1st dance is the photographer as I haven't got the slightest interest in getting my photo taken.

 

Not really sure m8,seemed really quick anyway lol.

 

Well then do the same but get your mum and dad or other relatives to join in, fuck me, surely there must be SOMEONE on the planet who actually would help you out?

 

APMSL!
At least i'm not the only one but at least i dont mind photos thank fuck

PMSL@cutting some shapes. At least my mrs is no dancer either!

 

ah good thinking i'll get the rellys on the go!!!

Now are we supposed to see out the first song or can people join in? I really dont know my wedding etiquette

 

Smack my bitch up..........

 

FPMSL @ above
strictly speakin the first dance is just yours mate, but as me and the fiancee keep saying its our day so we'll do what we fuckin want!
and for that reason, speeches are out !!! ! fookin superb lol

first dance i dont mind, or photos etc its just the standing up in front of everyone doing the same old jokes everyone gets off the net that worried me!

 

lol@smack my bitch up!

ballin
i'm a firm believer in we do what we want at our wedding but you know what some ppl are like with tradition I'd love to start on 2nd song. Come to think of it didnt blur do song called "song 2"?
Poor show cancelling the speeches though

 

Chop that makes 3 of us lol, my wedding is next September and we are already talking about first song/dance i can not dance for shit and she fancys her self as a bit of a mover on the dance floor, may be l will get some lessons before hand, but i doubt you will learn the Tango in under a week mate

My misses made me look a twat when we got engaged last month told the band at a hotel in Perthshire we were at and they dedicated a song to us were we had to dance

Mike

 

mike
i also feel your pain!!
but knowing you guys hate it so much is a small relief because when im all done and dusted you still have it to look forward to


i wish i'd done some lessons but kept putting it off as its such a fooking gay thing to do

 

It is such a homo thing to do but if it surprises her then i will probably try and do it, let me know how much of a twat you felt so i know what i have to look forward to

Mike

 

i'll tell you right now exactly how i'll feel!

my face will feel like its a million degrees, time will feel like it's slowed to 1/4 normal speed, number of people watching will feel like they have gone from 120 to 120,000 and i'll feel like a prize plank who's GAGGING to get a drink in

 

What hotel were you at mike ?

 

fook off is it a poor show cancelling speeches, they are shit! most i have heard are cringe-worthy lol

i will do the quick thanks but no blabbering on trying to be Jack Dee....

"25 years ago you put your daughter to bed with a dummy....now look where we are"
"she always dresses to kill.....its just a shame she cooks the same"

etc etc etc

its all so fuckin shite!

 

KSA Hilton Dunkeld, was great fun we went quad biking and shooting and lots of drinking lol


Mike

 

i found the dance Ok, the worst bit was speech time, i just cant talk in front of loads of people, and to have a mic as well That made things 10 times worse.

I dont recon anyone knew what i was on about

 

Obviously something you have givern some thought to

Mike

 

Nice one m8.

 

How about

Aqua - barbie Girl

you could do a full show then

 

And we went to a few Wiskey brewerys and that bloody exspensive shop up the road


Was perfect as we went shopping in Edinburgh in the morning and l got to buy the ring so worked out well


Mike

 

its been such an emotional day...even the cake is in tiers


mike
given it some thought? never

 

Check this out for a wedding dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPmYbP0F4Zw

 

that is quality

cant see us learning it in a week though

 

thought you would like it! lol,
i like how its just like normal aunties and uncles and the usual bladderd people and dancing! must have taken ages!

This would be good for you aswel because there would be other people up dancing with you!

 

What about the birdy song then

Or Agado

Mike

 

we had inxs-tear us apart fookin awsome but it`s your day mate have wot the fuk you like just enjoy it

 

Why don't you and the soon to be missus have a couple of private dance lessons? Even if it's just so you dont break each others toes!

 

Loads of 1st dance suggestions here

You'll be fine Chop im sure you'll both agree you were superb when you view it on Youtube

 

Speaches are only shit if you have someone shit giving them.

My sisters wedding her husband was genuinely entertaining, both funny and touching, and totally original as well, but he is a funny irish fucker anyway.

Can anyone imagine being bored during a speech by comedy dan for example?
Just not going to happen.


So its not the speech concept thats he problem its you unfunny cunts giving them

 

I'm starting to get nervous just reading this thread. It's a fukin worry I'll tell you. I just want to turn up in my S1 say what I have to say, have ma dinner, hit the bar, and then up to the room for some kinky stuff.

What's wrong with that.

All these things like photies, dancin in front of 150 people all with cameras expectin me to be some kinda fukin Fred Astaire are no for me.

Was out lookin at wedding cars last week, thought och well this'll be at least one bit I might enjoy - no fukin way, even that turned into a stress fest. What do you think about this one, what do you think about that one, I don't know if I'll be able to get in this with my dress on, I don't know if I'll be able to get out this with my dress on, I don't like the colour, what do you mean these ones are already booked? I like the old fashioned ones, I don't like the old fashioned ones.......What do you think? - By this time I was ready to rap it.

Weddings are no fun, and then the bastards have the cheek to charge you an arm and a leg for it.

Can't wait......

 

couldnt agree more, and in a situation where i have 200 odd people most of whom i dont know, and most of whom are far posher than me, i wouldnt really want to attempt my humour as i would probably insult half the audience