Was in the garage office this morning when my boss answered the phone......heard him say " who am i speaking to" after a couple of seconds.
Then he says " Everest..................what..the fucking mountain!!!!!! "

A quality reply to the sales people on the other end of the line and cracked me up !!!!!

Anyone else got any good replys to these pesky callers who call up offering free kitchens or conservatorys or the like ?

 

yeah i normally use the " i'll have two popadoms with that" reply

 

i normally say........................




hang on i will pass you to my mum and pass it to me misses




she ends up on the phone to them for ages as she is to polite to hang up






then i get the silent treatment for a while lol

 

not quite the same but the local cab office a few years ago has a similer number to my old mans,,,, he went on like dads do and got them to change there number as hes had it longer blah blag blag

anyway a few months after he got woke up at 3am by some rude prick demanding a cab in a rude way,,,,, my old man then took his details and said one will be with him but wont meet him there but will meet him at canonbury square due to the one way system and will be a 30 min wait,,,,,,

imagine waiting for 30 mins then call back to find they never got the call

 

my boss normally tells them if they buy some parts of him then he may buy something off them............... but he hangs the conversation out

 

I always say, sorry, do you speak english, this works particularly well if they are actually speaking english and they usually hang up on me!!

Debs

 

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

 

I need a recording like that

 

Rob it aint a recording,,,, the guy keeps a recorder by his phone and records hes conversation with em

 

when these callers ring me up I always say yep I'll have a new kitchen/ windows or whatever it may be ill have the most expensive and can they come round and measure up as I want it done asap
Then just as there closing the call I ask them to bill the council as its their property and they will have to pay for it
They don't call back

 

My old man number used to be similar to the local chinese.

The amount of telephone orders he took.....

 

We have a guy in our office who constantly takes the piss out of customers on the phone, but does it expertly and subtlely so that they don't realise. Earlier this week we had a customer on the phone called Mr Seaman. Good ol Ray picks up the phone, chats to him for a few mins, but I counted three "ahoy there" and 1 "me old hearty" in the conversation Customer never picked up on it

 

Me and a pal, when we were kids, were walking down his street one day when the public phone on the street rang, so I picked it up. Bird on the other end asked if it was the pizze delivery place (which was right next to the phone box, so must have had a similar number which she misdialed)

So I said yes Took her order, told her it'd be about half an hour, any longer than 45mins and it'd be free

 

people phone my work mobile from O2 resellers trying to flog me upgrades all the time (even though its now vodafone, must have been a ported number at some point)

my usual response "I've got more phones that i know what to do with...do you want to buy some?"

gets rid of em usually

 

I had one the other week on my mobile trying to sell me a contract, "how much do you usally spend on top-ups?" he asked, "about £5 every three months, can you do a better deal than that?" i told him.

 

when i lived on the mainland, we used to have people calling for goldfair, a airline of some sort, i guess number was sort of same, i remember 1 day my sister took a call, took booking details credit card number and date etc and told them to pick up tickets on the day they were flying out poor fuckers , still it was funny, used to get them sort of calls aday and night evry now and then

and i never even heard of goldfair and used to live 5 min drive from heathrow

 

usually say sorry mate im just robbing the joint but ill leave a note,

or speak to them for ages an try to sidetrack them away from the deal, told one person i had a hefty coke habit an i lost all my money street racing haha, she was trying to be serious aswell, an saying how she hoped everything worked out for me.

 

''Hello would you like to buy windows/insurance/a thai bride/shares/remortgage your house etc''
''Ohh, sounds great! Can I call you at home?''
''No, only at work''
''Can I call you when you're at home tonight after work?''
''No''
''Then don't fucking ring me when I'm at home''

Or

''Hello would you like to buy....''
''Yes..I have a lot of old Deutsch Marks left to use from a holiday to Berlin about 20 years ago..could you price up in those please..I'd love some windows''

 

My old man once arranged for someone to come out and quote for a new patio as the company had been bugging him for weeks. They will have had a shock when they pulled up outside his building as its a Multi Storey flat and he lives on the 13th floor! Needless to say they didnt knock on the door!

 

i've had countless calls from people trying to get me a better deal on phone calls to india recently, the thing is, they natter away for like 5 minutes before you get a chance to get a word in and then i say "sorry, could you repeat that please"

and then i tell them it's a business line

and they hang up

got a call from a woman about putting an ad into yellow pages for dojj motorsport and i was seriously considering it as she said it would be free, but i told her th etax man was after me for unpaid company car tax and she said she'd send me some paperwork instead as the call was being recorded

poor cow

 

would be great to have one day at work with the gloves off! unfortunately a company director's office is next to mine and she can hear everything i say!!

 

Pure genius