The Sludge

Good: You're pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets.
Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.

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Good: Your husband is not talking to you.
Bad: He wants a divorce.
Ugly: He's a lawyer.

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Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

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Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.

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Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

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Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.

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Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!

Rab