Taking a Shower...Man vs. Woman
> > > > ++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > > >
> > > > How To Shower Like a Woman
> > > >
> > > > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
> > > > according to lights and darks.
> > > >
> > > > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
> > > > If you see husband along the way,
> > > > cover up any exposed areas.
> > > >
> > > > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
> > > > make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> > > > Get in the shower.
> > > >
> > > > Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
> > > > long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
> > > >
> > > > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> > > > with 43 added vitamins.
> > > >
> > > > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> > > > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
> > > > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
> > until
> > > >red.
> > > > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> >
> > > > Rinse conditioner off hair.
> > > > Shave armpits and legs.
> > > > Turn off shower.
> > > > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> > > > Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> > > > Get out of shower.
> > > > Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> > > > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> > > > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> > > > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> > > >+++++++++++++++++++++++
> > > >How To Shower Like a Man
> > > >
> > > > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
> > > > and leave them in a pile.
> > > > Walk naked to the bathroom.
> > > >
> > > > If you see wife along the way,
> > > > shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> > > > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> > > > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
> > > > Get in the shower.
> > > > Wash your face.
> > > > Wash your armpits
> > > > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> > > > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> > > > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> > > > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> >
> > > > Wash your hair.
> > > > Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> > > > Pee.
> > > > Rinse off and get out of shower.
> > > > Partially dry off.
> > > > Fail to notice water on floor because
> > > > curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
> > > > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> > > > Leave shower curtain open,
> > > > wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> > > > Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
> > > > If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
> > > > and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> > > > Throw wet towel on bed.
> > > > ++++++++++++++++++++++
> > > > If there is anyone among you
> > > > who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
> > > > there is something so very wrong with you...

 

lol, so true.

Another time, I was laughing so loud the missus asked what was up,
I just said, I can piss on the toilet refresher when sitting down. She wasn't impressed, I was

 

So fooking true,

I even go as far as seeing how far away from the toilet i can stand and still get it down the pan......Im nearly out the room when it starts to slow down and i have to sprint to stop the floor getting a covering..........

So wrong but so right

 

Proper tears

 

arofpmsl sooo true