The Fridge light
09-12-2010, 02:05 PM
#42
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The light always comes on when the door is open, unless the fridge is broken or switched off.
09-12-2010, 02:14 PM
#43
Simples, when you open the door and need the light, switch the plug socket to "on" and when you close the door you can swit h the plug socket to "off" thus ensuring that the light illuminates only upon instruction by your finger.
If you are still concerned about the light remaining on despite your constant chastisments towards it's wastefull behaviour, open the door and keep the plug switched "off" to check if th light is illuminating without your express permission.
And to keep it under manners, remove all the items inside the frIdge and place them in the garden, being empty will remind the fridge who is boss and being without light it will be reminded further that you are not the sort of gentleman to be trifled with.
If you are still concerned about the light remaining on despite your constant chastisments towards it's wastefull behaviour, open the door and keep the plug switched "off" to check if th light is illuminating without your express permission.
And to keep it under manners, remove all the items inside the frIdge and place them in the garden, being empty will remind the fridge who is boss and being without light it will be reminded further that you are not the sort of gentleman to be trifled with.
09-12-2010, 02:19 PM
#45
We have yet to ascertain if this is a stand alone fridge or a combination fridge freezer unit. In which case, simply beheading it will not work as you will be removing the crown of the appliance to expose the inner working of the freezer compartment, these are not fitting with illumination orbs and so your experimentation will reslut in naught but exposing to the world your folly in being simpleton after neglecting to research the aformentioned mechanical conptrations that keep cold things cold and only illuminate said stored cold items whenceform said owner wishes to gaze upon their beautfull bounty.
09-12-2010, 02:21 PM
#46
We have yet to ascertain if this is a stand alone fridge or a combination fridge freezer unit. In which case, simply beheading it will not work as you will be removing the crown of the appliance to expose the inner working of the freezer compartment, these are not fitting with illumination orbs and so your experimentation will reslut in naught but exposing to the world your folly in being simpleton after neglecting to research the aformentioned mechanical conptrations that keep cold things cold and only illuminate said stored cold items whenceform said owner wishes to gaze upon their beautfull bounty.
WHAT..............
THE.................
FUCK????????????????????
09-12-2010, 02:44 PM
#47
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Alternatively, and a suggestion that i'm surprised hasn't been offered yet, you could:
1, Fit an inverter to your cars electrical system
2, Strap said fridge to your bumper and plug lead into said power supply
3, Ensure your milk remains cool and moist, and your cheese remains chilly
4, Drive car into nearest 'INSERT WORD' at speed sufficient enough to severally damage the fridge and take you with it
Now, seeing as you are, with any luck 'no more', the forensic scientists should be able to confirm to us whether fragments of your large free range egg shells were embedded in the shards of hot glass from the bulb - thus confirming if your poor groceries were unable to veg when you were tucked up at night.
If the scientists are too busy to confirm either way at least the world is a safer place - by that I mean of course there is one less faulty fridge on the grid.
You haven’t fathered any children yet – have you?
Tom
1, Fit an inverter to your cars electrical system
2, Strap said fridge to your bumper and plug lead into said power supply
3, Ensure your milk remains cool and moist, and your cheese remains chilly
4, Drive car into nearest 'INSERT WORD' at speed sufficient enough to severally damage the fridge and take you with it
Now, seeing as you are, with any luck 'no more', the forensic scientists should be able to confirm to us whether fragments of your large free range egg shells were embedded in the shards of hot glass from the bulb - thus confirming if your poor groceries were unable to veg when you were tucked up at night.
If the scientists are too busy to confirm either way at least the world is a safer place - by that I mean of course there is one less faulty fridge on the grid.
You haven’t fathered any children yet – have you?
Tom
09-12-2010, 06:29 PM
#50
Testing the future
09-12-2010, 07:06 PM
#52
i have simply implied that if you wish to use your eyes to view chilled goods at your home, you should have the ability to control the subjects that supply the chill to said goods, be that with kind words of weightily weighted socks, with weighty objects inserted into them
09-12-2010, 07:36 PM
#53
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Tom
09-12-2010, 08:19 PM
#55
One simple, if a little time consuming solution, would be to use the freezer as a spy!
Over the course of a few months, treat the freezer really well, regular de-icings, fill it full of nice posh food, and caress it as you would a loved one. Once you've got the trust of said freezer ask it politely to quiz the fridge, discretely, about it's intentions, and whether it is indeed taking the piss out of you via some kind of secret illumination.
Tread carefully, as freezers are renowned for being double agents, and may well be in cahoots with the fridge, and also mug you off!
Over the course of a few months, treat the freezer really well, regular de-icings, fill it full of nice posh food, and caress it as you would a loved one. Once you've got the trust of said freezer ask it politely to quiz the fridge, discretely, about it's intentions, and whether it is indeed taking the piss out of you via some kind of secret illumination.
Tread carefully, as freezers are renowned for being double agents, and may well be in cahoots with the fridge, and also mug you off!
10-12-2010, 07:47 AM
#58
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I gave your problem more thought last night Caffe, and came up with another possible solution for you as i noticed no one jumped on the fridge-on-bumper method - though i'm not sure why myself?
Those of us who went to school might remember light travels at approx 300,000,000m/s, which i think gives us a window of opportunity! Coil somewhere in the region of that length of fibre optic cable in your fridge with one end taped on the light (black-out the rest of the bulb cover), and the other facing the door.
Now in theory if you've crammed in enough cable you should get a full second to witness whether the end of the little cable lights up after you open the door!
That my friend is the answer - its full-proof!
Thank you, i'm here most of the day
Tom
Those of us who went to school might remember light travels at approx 300,000,000m/s, which i think gives us a window of opportunity! Coil somewhere in the region of that length of fibre optic cable in your fridge with one end taped on the light (black-out the rest of the bulb cover), and the other facing the door.
Now in theory if you've crammed in enough cable you should get a full second to witness whether the end of the little cable lights up after you open the door!
That my friend is the answer - its full-proof!
Thank you, i'm here most of the day
Tom
10-12-2010, 08:05 AM
#59
But why wait a full 1/60th of a minute to view the light? The dastardly deed will have been done and even the great Sherlock holmes would struggle to make a case for you, the owner, not catching the culprit, the rascally fridge, after giving it a huge lead of some 186,000 miles after you have not only laid the trap bit sprung it as well.
You would be well deserving of a pat on the bonce with a leaded weighted blunt insrtument for your foolishness rather than a hearty handshake and a warm mug of ale and the local inn.
It would be much more feesable to use a shorter length of cable so that the criminals could be apprehended whilst in the act of illegal illumination without due care and attention, leading to not only charges of electricity tampering but also wastefulness of energy and potential harm to human kind due to the extra supply demanded by this waste and it's effect of poluting the atmosphere with noxious substances, the wasted electricity could be harnessed to create life in imamate objects or even bring dead people back to life as has been shown by young victor these past years.
You would be well deserving of a pat on the bonce with a leaded weighted blunt insrtument for your foolishness rather than a hearty handshake and a warm mug of ale and the local inn.
It would be much more feesable to use a shorter length of cable so that the criminals could be apprehended whilst in the act of illegal illumination without due care and attention, leading to not only charges of electricity tampering but also wastefulness of energy and potential harm to human kind due to the extra supply demanded by this waste and it's effect of poluting the atmosphere with noxious substances, the wasted electricity could be harnessed to create life in imamate objects or even bring dead people back to life as has been shown by young victor these past years.
10-12-2010, 08:26 AM
#61
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10-12-2010, 09:36 AM
#63
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10-12-2010, 10:20 AM
#64
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I think we need some pics of said experiments, personally my fridge is too small for me to get in, not that i am "big boned" by any stretch of the imagination, just that i have a small, ever illuminated fridge unit.
10-12-2010, 11:37 AM
#70
cant believe no body has thought of this one!!!!
ok................................................ ...........
it has been "apparently" scientifically proven that the human head can see, hear and speak for up to 2 mins after it has been beheaded with a clean quick cut.................
grab the wife, swiftly cut her head off and shove it in the fridge, (prefferably in a baking tray or similar, to avoid spillage)
shut said fridge door and re open within 1 minute!!
aske her if light goes off.!!!!!!!!!!!
you have now succesfully completed 2 tasks........................
1) is the fridge light staying on when said door is closed
2) A PEACEFULL FUCKIN CHRISTMAS AT FUCKIN LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ok................................................ ...........
it has been "apparently" scientifically proven that the human head can see, hear and speak for up to 2 mins after it has been beheaded with a clean quick cut.................
grab the wife, swiftly cut her head off and shove it in the fridge, (prefferably in a baking tray or similar, to avoid spillage)
shut said fridge door and re open within 1 minute!!
aske her if light goes off.!!!!!!!!!!!
you have now succesfully completed 2 tasks........................
1) is the fridge light staying on when said door is closed
2) A PEACEFULL FUCKIN CHRISTMAS AT FUCKIN LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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