RS Grant

iTrader: (1)

I'm interested to hear from anyone that has/does suffer from uncontrollable anger.. I've had a couple of occasions in the past month where I've literally lost control.

One case happened tonight on the way home, I completely boiled out and looking back, I need to sort this out now before I get in serious trouble.

Tonight I undertook a Honda Jazz as I was turning left at the next roundabout... as I turned off a roundabout I glanced over to see the passenger staring at me and flipping me the finger. So I stood on the brakes and swung it round and took off up the dual carriageway after them.. pulled past in outside lane (I was in a Merc Vito Van) and moved into the middle of the road, braked to a standstill and put the van at an angle over the lanes, took my belt off and opened the door...... when he saw this, he went up on the kerb and took off.

Jumped back into the van and chased him up the road, stopped another couple of times, blocking major roads etc.. absolutely blind with rage, all I could think about was hauling this little bell end out of the car and smashing his face in. (Anyone that knows me will know that I'm not that sort of guy, specially over something so ridiculous).

Took a minute to myself while about 10-15 cars that had been held up drove past in both directions.. then I pulled out and started to drive home.. within 15 seconds, another huge wave of anger came back over me and I turned back round...... went through 3 different villages looking for the car and had given up, still pissed off, but turned round and was heading home (again) when they passed me going in the original direction.

Turned round again and saw them disappear down a side road.. followed them in, where they'd parked up trying to hide behind a people carrier. Parked tight up behind them, got out, he locked the car I hammered on the window telling him to get out.. driver looked petrified (sp?), dog was going tits at the window and the passenger was on the phone....... went round to the passenger side (JUST stopped myself punching the window ), verbally abused the little shit, told him to get out the car.... he held up his phone.. "Emergency Call: 18:32.. 18:33.. 18:34.."

Suddenly realised the cop shop were likely to be en route and all rage instantly vanished.. jumped back into drivers seat.. full beam on.. reversed out street.. took some choice back roads home and came into the house absolutely grey and feeling terrible with what I'd done.


I could have given a short account of what happened, but I wanted to get it all out my system and also so you could see that I'm not over-reacting... this is a problem and tonight was worse than the last time, so want to nip it in the bud before it spirals any more and the end result is either me being in prison or in a box if I pick on the wrong person.

I've gone through a few personal problems recently, biggest of which was my best friends little sister being knocked down and killed @ New Year.. so I'm more stressed than normal, I dunno if this is directly related to this anger or just a factor that magnifies it?!!

Is it a case of going to the doctor? Will they refer me and I'll hear from someone in 9 months time.... or is this sort of thing dealt with swiftly?


Cheers,
Grant

JK99

If people say you're not usually that type of person it's possible you've just been bottling things up for so long and it came to a head recently.

There is help out there and the Docs will be quick to do something about it - maybe just talking will help.

I'd also considering taking up some a sport or doing some training where you can get rid of pent up aggression.

Sorry to hear you're having these issues but you've taken the 1st step to addressing them by realising you need to do something about it.

Joel

J1mbo

iTrader: (1)

not exactly helpful but thats not so good fella, i get to the stage where i want to just go crazy but can control myself just about,

it may have no relavance but do you normally bottle things up because i do and i get to the point where you have to get everything out like and normally when your (im) angry i do this

if im way off track ignore me

but all the best sorting it out, telling others about it is good cause you recognise the problem so hopefully can calm your self down

RS Grant

iTrader: (1)

Thanks Joel, thats the thing mate... I work pretty hard at the gym 3-4 times a week and have done for the past few months, focusing on becoming fit enough to play rugby again next season so I'm pretty dedicated to that. I am thinking about taking up some sort of meditation or physical martial art etc because I'm led to believe that they really help train your mind and give greater control over emotions etc.


Cheers,
Grant

mrjenrst

welcome to my world mate, seriously.i get tunnel vision thats a real light grey round the edges and all i can see is the cunt i wanna kill, with a nasty metallic taste in my mouth.

RS Grant

iTrader: (1)

Jimbo, nah I don't tend to bottle things up.. if something annoys me or upsets me then I normally don't have a problem expressing this. Usually get it out in the open, deal with it and move on.... that said, over past couple of months, I have become a little more closed, so it could well have something to do with that.

Previously (over past number of years) I have had incidents of road rage like this where I'll take exception to a gesture or manouvre.. and let the offender know I'm not happy, however, I've always had a lid on it (if that makes sense)..... like, I'll know where the line is and wont cross it.


Cheers,
Grant

RS Grant

iTrader: (1)

Tunnel Vision is the perfect way to describe what happened tonight... all I could think about was getting this boy out the car. I had no regard for my safety or his safety in the process and when I came home, sat down and thought about it...... its a scary thought, hence why I need to sort it out soon.


Cheers,
Grant

thebigyin

once you do this to the wrong guy and he batters the living fuck out of you , you will then be able to control yourself as you will have experienced the consequences of your actions

a sense of perspective is what you need, learn from what happened to you tonight to help you keep a grip next time.

thebigyin

that metallic taste thing, i get that when im getting to the point of letting my temper go.

RS Grant

iTrader: (1)

Mate, if I got a kicking for it.. then that would stop me in my tracks and I'd of learnt the hard way but its the thought of me getting a knife put into me, dying and leaving my family behind that worries me...... all for the sake of some guy calling me a wanker or telling me to fuck off?! Its ridiculous!!

Tonight was severe (hence the post!) so I'm hoping that I can tap into that memory if I feel the red mist beginning to decend next time.


Cheers,
Grant

mrjenrst

Mate, i seriously dont know what triggers mine. Last time i lost it i was going to work on a night and 3 blokes in a modeo cut me up, i chased them for a couple of miles and even thought about hiting there back end to make them crash.

thebigyin

hopefully the memory of it will kick in next time you feel the anger rising cos as you say things can get out of hand quickly and before you know it you are in fuck street having been done in or done someone else in, who needs it?

mrjenrst

Its when i'm on one i get it, honestly dont know why though

mrjenrst

Nail and head, not as simple though mate

CRAIG HAYTER

today Grant i got my golf gt back running good and then it started going shite so i started smashing itmust be something in the iar today m8ty

ST_BEAN

1st things first mate... Youve made the 1st step in relising that you do have certain issues that trigger you off...What normally happens to most people is they bottle it all up for so long its natural for them to do it. You may have had a rough time lately with some personal business i.e marriage breakdown losing a loved one etc. These are common causes as people that go threw a hard time end up lashing out at anyone who upsets them very slightly

Theres a few ways you can deal with it,
no1 go to your local gp and explain the situation
or
no2 this is the way i recommend people deal with stuff as i work with people that have certain issues ... Find a new hobby i.e boxing (Most common one) martial arts etc

For 15mins a day mate have a good old knock around with the new boxing bag, not many people realise it but once youve taken your anger out on the boxing bag youve really let your bottle spill If you do start to feel angry, try n think of things that make you happy i.e cars sex women tits blah blah blah


good luck with getting better mate if you wanna chat mate your more than welcome to pm me matey

Diamonds.

iTrader: (2)

not just that way could be you doing that to someone else and there family getting left behind. in rage anything could happen even when you say you wouldnt. i would defo call your doctor tomorrow and make an appointment. tell him the story and say your worried you could flip and something bad might happen. dont be embarresed about or anything just think the last person he spoke to might of had his fingers up his/her arse lol. also look up on the net and ways of calming yourself next time that happens. maybe think and it hard when situations come up of how you feel right after what happened tonight and your family. it might just get you to click back next time without you chasing after someone or doing something you WILL regret.

also your saying your going gym are you taking anything like steroids or supplements? dont have to say if you are but if so then give it up sharp. keep the gym going but with out the "extras"

but defo give the Dr a call

mk3matt

harsh mate,

i have had the red mist go down on me before, once spent nearly 45mins looking for this tw@t who over took me in a 30 throgh town forcing me up the kerb.


never found him, wasted loads on petrol and felt a muppet afterwards.

on the other side to that, down southend once, a few lads in a punto pulled out in front on my mate in his landrover. one of them did the wanker sign. and he promptly slammed his deffender straight into the side of it. then screamed is bollox of at them.

i think we all have anger issues to an extent however, perhaps tonight you just pushed it a little to far. if you think its gna happen again, pull over. stop or whatever. i find that is someone is a muppet, 9/10 i can happily just move over or whatever and let them get on with it.

i personally wouldn't suggest any councelling at this point, but ulitmatly this is down to you.

a now ex gf had anger issues, she went to councelling and it helped so much, it was beyond belief... but do you think your at that point?

mk3matt

another way to look at it btw..


imagine if it was your mate, mum, dad, son or daughter in the car you were chasing?

do you want to be that bloke? hope they didnt get your plate btw!

BazW

Get it in check before you go up against the wrong bloke...it happened to me. I got in a row with a pikey and the cunt started throwing punches when I wasn't looking and checking where he'd caught my car. Ended up with a broken jaw (got twatted mid sentence) and lots of lumps on the side of my head

He wasn't a hardcase or anything like that, in fact he legged it when I hit him back, but he was just the sort of nasty cunt to jump you when you're not ready...made me have a word with myself anyway as it could have been a lot worse especially if he'd not been on his own

simon170

I had this when I was quite young. I lost it once. Just once. But it was enough for some REALLY horrible things to happen.

I had to see a counselor or my life would have gone down a very different road, and dread to think how I would have ended up. Dead or inside are most likely.

Seeing a counselor was the best thing I ever did. My advice would be to get refered to one as soon as possible.

Best of luck dealing with this Grant. Hopefully at the end of it all you'll see, as I did, thats its just not worth it.

underdarkskies

Think your right to get this sorted. I went a bit like this when our daughter died, I had bottled it all up and suddenly exploded at my fiance, screamin and shoutin at her tellin her it was all her fault. I smashed up a photo of us. She was terrified, she grew up in foster care after coming from a disgustingly violent abusive family and me acting like that freaked her out. I went and got some help at GP.

Big Will_

Or, as an alternative, pay and go privately. I did about 2 years ago when i was having a big "whats it all about" coupled with a lot of anger and depression. The guy i saw delved deeper and deeper and deeper into my mind than i thought anyone ever could.

Traced a lot of it down to me dad dying when i was six and me being bullied through school. I was bottling everything up and it was starting to boil over.

Also, as someone has already suggested, buy a punchbag and stick it in the garage or go along to local boxing classes. Beating the hell out of an inanimate object is far better than some cocky kids face

johnandhissaffy

iTrader: (1)

go ask your doctor about adhd i know you might think your to old but i have it and what you have just said seems that sort of think mate im being honest with you im almost 21 and am still taking medication and i think if you ask about ,talk to a few people that know about it. it might come down to that mate only a though i was like that once since iv been on medication i feel better in myself pm me if you need to have a bit more of a talk about it i know you must think i sound stupid about it coz im younger than you but i might be able to help you out hope this helps
cheers johnandhissaffy

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

I think theres a lot more impact of your personal problems than you care to admit (to yourself not us).

Your doing plenty of excercise so thats not the issue.

You admit your stressed. With many people your a lot more stressed than you realise and often you dont realise your stressed out until your actually badly stressed out!!!

Youve got a bit of a temper anyway. Its not that surprising that your temper is short when under stress. Not surprising in itself, the fact that your completely loosing it is a bit worrying.

You could find yourself an anger management course which might help a bit but to be frank, long term your probably better off learning to get a bit more in touch with your emotions and feelings, learning what triggers you off, learning to properly relax etc.

You sound quite a highly strung person!!

You could go to GP but its likely to be a long wait. Youll be better off probably looking online for anger management groups etc and perhaps trying some relaxation stuff. Might seem a bit touchy feely but you dont need to prescribe to all the yoga shit etc but just learn some of the techniques to help you unwind etc.

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnose...ing_with_anger

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_...olent_impulses

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_...anaging_stress

http://www.mind.org.uk/relaxation

asd123

from this last episode... that expression Spacek's character made at the mention of the casino was so blatant... what's our guesses as to what's in it for her?


















deadwood 1-3 series

Jay,

iTrader: (4)

i have adhd and asbergers spent most of my life angry violent and loosing it at the drop of a hat .Councilors just made it worse for me as it felt i was being patronised by people that never seemed to understand any long story short it took a friend that stook around as i lost a few of it over the years who kept saying you on self destruct and your killing all the love that friends and family have you and he kept on saying it until it sunk in ! im not cured by far but when i get in a bad way those words go through my head and it helps to calm me

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

I was really bad as a kid as I would take loads of shit then flip out proper psycho. Ive beat people up with chairs, hockey sticks, dented locker doors on my brothers head etc etc etc But had to change as when i was around 17 a few kids got killed that year with being kicked repeatedly in the head while on the floor in fights and id done similar to other kids before and it scared me enough to turn it in on myself instead. but that dont work long term either

Gazzonator

iTrader: (9)

I have more or less exactly the same problem and I have done for years.

When I'm calm, I will talk to absolutely anyone, try to have a laugh and a joke, I will help anyone out if I can etc, basically fairly relaxed but as soon as anything, no matter how slight or insignificant, even so much as niggles me, that's it, I'm just in full uncontrollable rage mode.

I don't go around thinking that I'm hard, can take anyone on etc, anyone who knows me will vouch for that, it's just when I get like this I just lose total control and go nuts.

I have tried to see my GP but basically said there's nothing wrong and wouldn't do anything to help.

People have said to just to walk away from whatever is pissing me off but for some reason I just can never seem to be able to.

I have to get this sorted though, it's getting beyond stupid now.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

If the thought of the police coming and telling you off made you shit yourself and scurry home crying, then next time you get angry just think of the police again yourself.

Anger is a fairly useless emotion in a modern society, certainly in its extremes anyway, so its definately something you need to control one way or the other, or (as you realised here) someone else will end up controlling it for you, either by locking you up or by kicking the shite out of you.

rabmc

You crazy man.

When this happens to me i tend to go home and have a chat to my best freind.

Mr smirnoff, he always understands me..

Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

I don't want to make a mockery of a serious subject but you can take it like the best of them....( i hope )


What you need is to get laid mate! Lose that virginity for once and for all and the stress relief will be amazing.

I know you're ginger but someone will take on the job. If you're stuck we'll have a pf whip round and get you off to the dam

Chop, like Asda, Always HTH


ps on a serious note good luck with your choice. These thing shappen and doesnt bear thinking about what could happen should the other guy be bigger or have a knife

Chip

iTrader: (3)

I did one of those "driver education courses" as an alternative to possibly getting points on my license a few years back after an RTC.

The guy taking the course was telling us a (supposedly true) story about something that happened when he was a copper and had to deal with.

Guy got involved in a road rage incident with an old fella of about 70.
Started shouting at him and threatening him so the old boy drove off, the other guy following him, beeping and flashing etc.
Old guy turned into a dead end road, and the bloke pulled up behind him, and boxed his car in.
Bloke goes to the drivers door, and opens it and yanks the old boy out the car to give him a beating.
As he does so, the old guy stuck him with a knife and killed him.
the bloke never expected that!

Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

fucking hell! did the old guy get time? you wouldn't expect that, more like the old man to wee some more on himself

ESCYSCOTT

iTrader: (1)

Look at your diet too, i remember Stu having a story about his intolerence to caffeine! Do you drink a lot of coffee, tea or fizzy drinks etc.......I know if i drink a lot of coffee i get very highly strung and lose my rag easy and if I don't drink it I get a bad head and get quite depressed sometimes. Viscous circle!

Best advice, go to the docs and they'll assess all your lifestyle etc.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Was classed as self defence apparently, not sure why he had a knife etc though or what sort of knife it was.

neilgf

You ever considered that the anger your having whilst driving is partially related to the loss of you mates sister to a young drunk driver? Sorry to bring it up...

Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

Well done sherlock.

neilgf

oops missed that bit.