Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

AFPMSL

C4llyT

If you're described as morbidly obese, that's hardly a little overweight, but dangerously so.
Yeah, bit overweight, bit life threatening but heh

Edit/ See you're Maria again, that's better

Ollie.

I havent read the replies on this thread but i have no sympathy for the fat cunt. He shouldnt have let himself get like that in the first place.

Dangerous Malcolm..

I didn't notice you'd posted this last night.

All I can say is that's awful, what a shit start in life.

Kamike

Awful way to grow up

It's Czech Mate

I havent ready any of the replies but

If two couples are ready to adopt one child, one couple is healthly and of average weight and meet the criteria and the other couple are clinically obese ( bearing in mind all the associated health problems and shorter life expectancy ) yet still meet the adoption criteria who would you give the kid to?

Bearing in mind he may well go into a loving family and be well looked after with both couples, yet with one of the couples he may have to watch his carers health deteriorate and the quality of his care go down, or even worse watch them die

To minimise the risk i'd say the healthy couple everytime.

Kamike

But there is a shortage of people wanting to adopt and foster, seems like the authoritys would rather leave the child in care than adopt them to a fat family. Bit unfair on the children IMH

It's Czech Mate

If they are the only couple who could take the child and they meet the criteria then then his health problem should be examined accordingly, if his health problem wont adversely affect the welfare of the potential fosterchild then sure, let the kid into a stable happy home

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Well the fact that being told they would prefer him to lose some weight has now made him decide he doesnt want to adopt anymore it appears, seems to show how little his heart was in it anyway IMHO, so whatever the reason for the decision not to let him adopt, it looks like its still the right outcome if he doesnt IMHO

Chip

iTrader: (3)

@ the irony of spelling it that way in this case

St3V3_C

Almost word for word what I was going to post.

Maria - I'm really sorry to hear you had such a hard time , but I think the intentions in this case are right - I see it as nothing more than a kick up the ass for this guy to improve his own life.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

Based on the figure for his BMI versus the max of 40 allowed, it wouldnt even take a month of healthy eating and moderate exercise for him to fall within the rules.
Thats FAR less effort than a woman goes through in pregnancy, so if he isnt even prepared to do that, he doesnt deserve a kid IMHO as he clearly isnt ever going to inconvenience himself in the way that a good father needs to anyway!

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

Maria i can see your point but if he were to suffer a massive heart attack and die not long after the child becomes attached to them as a family, how much damage might that do to the child???

The health screening for potential foster parents and people wishing to adopt is quite right in my opinion. Its just a shame the press have gone skitz on the fact hes overwieght where as in reality its more likely to be high blood pressure, risk of diabetes, risk of heart attack etc thats the problem.

As im sure you understand all to well, an adopted/fostered child needs the love and care AND the continuity and routine of that. Many children from broken homes have problems related to attachment and clinging when forming relationships, not to mention heavy associations of guilt.

Imagine how a child would feel having been unwanted and unloved finally getting the love they need. Some children would push it away thinking its false or they dont deserve it or because people mean pain/aggro to them, some children would get very very attached both in a healthy and abnormal way leading to love as time grows, some will get clingy not wanting to leave in case the good stuff is taken away. But ultimately the true love will shine through and a child will understand that despite thier behaviour. (of course i accept there will be some children so severly traumatised because of thier past that they are totally unable to relate to others without appropriate psychological treatment and therapy).

Now imagine the parent dies. Even for a child from a healthy family background it would be hard, but for a fostered/adopted child i imagine it would be yet another devastating stab in the back, yet another blow to thier already shattered self esteem and confidence and statistically far more likely to cause quite serious additional psychological problems

Social services has a duty to try (and often get wrong!) and minimise the harm to children and that includes continuity of care for a child.

You know how you felt being pushed pillar to post from quite frankly shit foster parents and it led you to suicide. Social services may well have been shit in your case but I imagine you having had continuity and love for a while would have changed you a bit and then for it suddenly to be all shattered and taken away by a death would make things a lot worse. Social services these days have to try and mitigate against that with thier "extensive" checks on potential adopters including health.

Its unfortunate you read straight into the hands of the media spin.

Chip

iTrader: (3)

I think that confusing foster parents and people who adopt is a bad idea too.

I know people who foster, and they deliberately dont let themselves get too attached as its only a temporary arragement and getting attached would be bad for both parties, where as people I know who have adopted are totally the opposite and have thrown their heart and soul into it.

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

Chip some people do foster the same child over several years. That may not be the "purpose" of the fostering system but it does happen.

Also some children very easily become attached even to foster parents in a very short time. It is widely known in social care that repeatedly uprooting children and moving them around every few months is detrimental to their psychological wellbeing. Even the fostering system is NOT meant to be like that with foster care meant to be a short term stepping stone to a more permenant solution be it adoption or care homes or returning to family home.

Unfortunately the fostering system is yet another poorly funded poorly managed sector of social services in many areas.

Children with extremely challenging behaviour may end up being passed from foster parent to more foster parents regularly until the appropriate child needs are met, but thats NOT meant to be a policy for all children to be shunted around every 5 minutes but unfortunately it happens.

Maria.

Chip - Foster carers can have a child from an hour to a lifetime.... they arent all temporary.

Warren - yes i completely take on board what youre saying.

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

Good as long as your not wielding the ban stick

What ive found interesting this week in my studies is how the fostering agency system was supposed to save money and simplify the process but in reality screws things up. TBH im not surprised bringing private companies into things has made it go down hill. Its seen widely across healthcare and social care that where theres profit to be made, excessive cuts happen and barely minimum standards are met. Criminal really when these organisations are given money to bring up kids and they take the minimum effort approach. Even cattle seem to have more welfare rights