How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant...
13-05-2008, 02:59 PM
#1
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How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant...
Marry it! 
Here are some other Brave male jokes I just got sent....
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it.
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of boobs in there.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why did God create woman ? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men...until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Here are some other Brave male jokes I just got sent....
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it.
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of boobs in there.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why did God create woman ? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men...until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
13-05-2008, 03:11 PM
#3
Why did God create woman ? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
13-05-2008, 03:14 PM
#5
Black Country RSOC
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a few more.....
Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some action. Eager to please, I sent her my ironing. That should keep the Bitch quiet for a while
--------------
90% of women have had intelligent DNA inside them.
Unfortunately, 50% of them spit it back out.
--------------
If a motorcyclist runs into a woman, who is to blame?
The motorcyclist is. He shouldn't have been riding in the kitchen.
---------------
Why did God create Eve?
Adam demanded it, as soon as he discovered that he couldn't suck his own cock.
---------------
An Essex girl noticed her partner had L and R written on his socks. When she asked why he said it was so he knew which sock was for his left and his right feet. "Oh" she replies "Is that why my knickers say C&A?"
----------------
Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some action. Eager to please, I sent her my ironing. That should keep the Bitch quiet for a while
--------------
90% of women have had intelligent DNA inside them.
Unfortunately, 50% of them spit it back out.
--------------
If a motorcyclist runs into a woman, who is to blame?
The motorcyclist is. He shouldn't have been riding in the kitchen.
---------------
Why did God create Eve?
Adam demanded it, as soon as he discovered that he couldn't suck his own cock.
---------------
An Essex girl noticed her partner had L and R written on his socks. When she asked why he said it was so he knew which sock was for his left and his right feet. "Oh" she replies "Is that why my knickers say C&A?"
----------------
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13-05-2008, 07:43 PM
#14
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Location: Essex
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why did the woman cross the road?...never mind that who let her out of the kitchen!
what do you do if your washing machine breaks down.....give her a slap
what do you do if your washing machine breaks down.....give her a slap
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