i am curntly in possesion of a variety of items that require their packaging opening i order to liberate their contents

but

i am also at the disadvantage of being alone in the office as well as being hampered by the fact i only have one useable hand in with to facilitate the freeing of said contents

so any ideas on how to open a gottle of lucozade with just one hand?

or a bag of crisps?

or the sandwich i bought yesterday?

i nearly had to wait for assistance yesterday in order to go for a pee as i couldn't unbuckle mt belt or unbutton my trousers (the wife reattached the button last night nd i m wearing more suitable atire today to lessen the chances of this happening again)

thank you for reading and please don't move it to the muppet room, i am after serious input here

 

come on peeps, i'm starving here

not to mention thirsty as fook

 

crisps can be done with one hand.
lucozade.. use your teeth.

 

put the lucozade bottle between ur knees and twist and drink..

put the crisps on the table and use a knife to put a cut init

and the sandwich throe it in the bin cus its prob off

 

tried the teeth
my jaw now hurts
tried using the door jamb, but you still need 2 hands, one to hold the bottle one to close the door

i've got a stanlet knife somewhere so i was thinking of litaraly hacking the top off, or at least creating a small opening in the lid but knoing my luck i'll be going back to casualty in an ambulance because i won't have any fingers left to dial 999

 

try my ideas

 

lucozade between my feet and it opened

 

STAB A HOLE IN SAID BOTTLE THEN SHAKE THE GUTS OUT OF IT WITH YOUR GOB OVER THE HOLE. JOB DONE

 

so partly my idea worked

 

it's a bottle of lucozade, not moet

 

tried the legs, kept slipping on the material of my trousers

will use sir stanley of knife to get into the pack of wotsits and later into the sandwich expirey date og thursday so its all good

 

only if its refrigirated tho i think

yes i have actully contributed to a well know member of PF

 

correct

as if it was a Moet i would not have rececomended my method
above, as MOET COMES IN A GLASS BOTTLE

 

Another quality reslut!
How did you cope before you had internet access? Its like the fookin chronicles of dojj on here!

 

https://passionford.com/forum/muppet-room-33/

 

put crisp packet on table. put hand on top of packet. apply pressure in small increments until a "pop" noise is heard. i think you could open them 1 handed from there.

 

i'm in an office
surrounded by walls
and a cumpoter on the table in front of me
and all my work is finished, until i need to do some more
and i've read every single book and magazine dotted about the place
i've even exhuasted all the places i can visit on the interweb via the company computer
which is why i'm here

i would have psoted there lyn but i did want a serious answer
some of the ones i got were "hit it with a meat cleaver"