Dan

Some of these are classics! Especially the last one!

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco?s Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco
Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning
you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Billabong

No. 9's my favourite I'm not banned yet!

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

Turbo Pez

Nash

iTrader: (3)

Thats quality

geoffxr4

Excellent

Stavros

Genuine?

Or made up funny email that gets sent around the country for years and years?

You decide.

My moneys on the 2nd one

Dan

Who fucking cares Steve it's funny!

Stavros

No its not, i find it sexist towards men.

Im gonna sue, and i dont mean be a well known male cosworth tuner and have a sex change.

Your all evil, and you brought down the WTC buildings too, tho Graham S1 told me that bit.

Gaz 88

Physio

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

Awesome

Dan

tregmatt

iTrader: (3)

Billabong

And if you combine no9 with an Alkaseltzer chewed in the mouth, that's a store clearer

ram

iTrader: (4)

i shop at the banbury tescos. il keep an eye out for a man darting about humming the M.I tune