Joke............
08-02-2007, 01:23 PM
#1
10K+ Poster!!
Thread Starter
iTrader: (2)
Join Date: May 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 11,383
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Joke............
Subject: Retirement
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for her to
get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income
and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started
working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home
from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the
club so eating out is reasonable, but I'm ready for some home-cooked
grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we
finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table
for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
to bed.
Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a
nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a
while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other.
Signed,
John.
EDITOR'S NOTE:
John died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Callaway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that John somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for her to
get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income
and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started
working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home
from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the
club so eating out is reasonable, but I'm ready for some home-cooked
grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we
finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table
for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
to bed.
Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a
nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a
while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other.
Signed,
John.
EDITOR'S NOTE:
John died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Callaway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that John somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
