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Classic quote funnies...some are quite good aswell!

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Old 10-08-2006, 05:00 PM
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st3v3
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Default Classic quote funnies...some are quite good aswell!

CLASSIC QUOTES

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a
good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a
date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which
increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief
among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a
rope."
Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The
other eight are unimportant."
George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a
sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men
dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or
where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no
matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip
out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that
women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting
that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So
what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show
me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." !
Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten
who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and
natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until
you get older. Little things like being spanked every
day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money
for in later life."
Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the
same."
Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of
getting married."
George Burns
Old 10-08-2006, 05:20 PM
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dojj
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Default Re: Classic quote funnies...some are quite good aswell!

Originally Posted by st3v3
" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the
same."
Oscar Wilde
Old 10-08-2006, 05:40 PM
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Rab
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