Baked Beans Very Very funny
21-02-2006, 01:09 PM
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Baked Beans Very Very funny
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent
that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from
work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that
I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small
diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to
walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached
home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three
large orders of
baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a
seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He
made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to
answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized
the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air
around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I
quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap
and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with
myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold,
and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!
that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from
work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that
I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small
diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to
walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached
home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three
large orders of
baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a
seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He
made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to
answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized
the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air
around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I
quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap
and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with
myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold,
and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!
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