Was down the pub with a few mates recently, got speaking to a guy who is interested in buying my Dad’s car (2WD Saff)

This brain dead prick at the next table pipes up “Cossies eh, I know loads about them, like”

Conversation goes something like this:

Guy: What kind of Cossie is it”
Me: 2WD Sapphire
Guy: Ah, they are crap, better with a 4x4. They have 400 brake…..that’s why they are called 4x4 you see, it is 400bhp x 4 cylinder engine.....
Nothing to do with the running gear at all then?
Guy: (continues)…. I had a 500 brake Saff 4x4, had been chipped and everyfing…
Me: (realising the guy is a twat) Ah well, each to their own eh. I prefer 3 doors anyway
Guy: Have you got one like?
Me: Yeah, standard-ish 3 door
Guy: 3 door, what’s that?
Me: The hatchback one…
Guy: I’ve got a Cossie as well, the Granada one. Flying machine it is. Has 3 turbos
Guy: Is it an RS500? Cos that’s the only one that is a hatchback….. They made 500 of them all in black and they all had 500 brake ye know…and they all had roll cages…cos they were for rallying like…..
Me: Are you sure?
Guy: Yeah man, my mate had one chipped to 800 brake, was rapid like…

Me: That’s interesting……

What is it with these fucking bell ends???

 

Loads of them everywhere mate

 

Dave.

 

Fcukin knob head!!!

Some people just aint got a single clue

 

FPMSL i work for on the ford parts counter and get werdios telling me shit like this all the time

very true what you have said though

 

Nice of him to educate you,

bet you is well clued up on cossies now init

 

Load of those Chavs around.

Have you always noticed though if anyone ever asks you what car u have, and you say cosworth they always know someone whos had one

 

Well to be fair, they arent exactly rare

 

Yeah I now know "everyfink" (whatever that means) after being educated by the twat
Don't forget, all you guys with 3 doors (all 8000 ish of them), they are all fakes unless they are RS500's

I thought I would leave out the bit about fitting a Cossie engine in my MK2, converting my 3 door to RHD and rebuilding several of my mates Cossie engines as obviously I've not got a clue

 

 

Thing is, the guy was about 50...!! (or maybe he had a hard paper round) Proof if any was needed that you never grow out of being a knob..

 

im 19 and i no more than that bloke

 

I know but everyone who speaks to me. Might as well said i had a Ford Escort 1.3L as less people would have had them

Funniest thing i heard (bit of topic now) Was when i was driving my car about 2 years ago a taxi driver shouts over at the lights and says ah i know that car. Thought ok maybe, he says yeah u got it from so and so from X a couple of weeks ago. I was like erm no mate i have had this car for about 2 years before and i know the last owner who had it for 8 years But he went on to explain how i was wrong and he was right, fookin ass monkey.

 

Don't know if you were there tone but I remember being in one day talking to shaun and some twat pulled up in an escort cossie rep. you could tell by the tapping and engine note that it was a 1.3 ohv but the bloke kept trying to convince it was real

 

i have to work with one of them
everyday i hear the same rubbish

 

steve you must pop down one day i must know you

i think i can remember that was it black if so it was a 1.8 diesel the guy order a fuel filler neck for a escort cosworth and bought it back saying it was wrong for his car would not fit

 

I live in a small town and i'm one of the only two people with a cossie, needless to say every saturday night i get the usual people talking the same shit to me about how fast their 'chipped XRfwee' is and how it does 160 miles an hour!

 

Love it, hear that up here all the time

 

Rhys - do you always find that the other persons is better no matter what? I know people who are just like that.

 

Theirs some classic quotes on this thread

 

There should be a thread for comments people have heard about cossies!

Mine wasnt so much comments but other drivers, mainly trucks. I used to commute to Bournemouth daily on the M3, M27 etc in my pinto and would get the odd mooron pull out in front of you which I can live with. The cossie however going the same speed which I used for a month doing that run had more trucks pull out in front of me than in any other car.

Any ideas why? No faster most of the time, same time of day as well?

The only benefit was being able to gun it after they pull back in with the road being clear.

 

Think u jus answered ure own Q their they wanted to see a cossie givin it large probs

 

Could well be the case, wouldnt have thought people thought like that though? Good suggestion though

 

You've gotta love pubs for some of the things you hear and the people that come out with it even believe what their saying

Its amazing how many people think all whale tails are 500's and all of them have 500bhp

 

yea most people i speak to think RS500 means there 500 hp and according
to all the local people i meet theres at least 50 500+bhp cossies in garages up the
valleys cos all there uncles m8s got one

 

LOL @ Rob
No disrespect to our Welsh friends on here, but is that "uncle" gag a welsh thing?? Lad I work with is welsh (bless him ) and he's got so many uncles who have got or done so many things it's untrue!!!
or maybe he's only got one, who's done absolutely everything?

 

since getting the cos last week, i've heard nothing but 400bhp from a couple of people - kinda wish they would shut their dirty fuckholes as it is pising me right off - also when people expect you to talk about your car - if i want to talk about it i will, but i'd rather it kept quiet and only mentioned once in a while - keeps it special to me that way

 

i got a rs2000,its called a rs2000 because it has 2000 bhp and its a mk5 so they only made 5
cheeRS gary
AKA shrek

 

fpmsl

I've had similar. A guy in our local was chatting to me about cars and said he had an "X ARGHH Freee Eye bruv all chipped up to free undred brake"

Had another 17 year old knobber with a Corsa tell me he had whooped SCC's demo car. I thought to myself I couldn't see Rob wasting his time racing a Corsa (especially not a Max Poo style one). Then he starts talking about this black RS Turbo with sunstrip. It then dawned on me the prick was claiming a race win against my car His face dropped when I told him I owned said car.

His engine spec was enough to make me quake Corsa 1.4 with a filter and a pair of the most tacky exhausts you have ever seen

Every pub has it's twats mate. I tend not to bother chatting cars in the pub as you always come across a prick who knows "loads bout mota's"

 

I meet a guy once we was chatting about cars, He told me his mate's got a
Toyota Ski-line it's been chipped to 800 bhp,

I nearly smacked him there and then
I think he needs to stop playing "need for speed underground"

 

Being young (17) i have to deal with people like this on a daily basis, some of them even friends who think they know more about cars than me because they bought Max Power .

Occasionally i'd start conversations about cars to people who actually know their stuff, but other than that i try to refrain from even talking about fords. Theres been a few times people have said:

Q- What's a good car?
A- Well a Cosworths pretty good
Q- A what
A- There usually reworked cars based on Fords in particular
Q- (Face drops) A ford?!
A- Ehh, yes. Is there a problem?
Q- Well its a Ford innit, Saxos are well better.
A- At this point i usually have a rant about Fords success in touring cars, rallying, Le mans blah blah blah

and still the majourity of them would have a Saxo, Corsa or similar since "i can put a healthy body kit on, get ma ICE in get eh tunes hefty bouncin' plus it'll still be faster than any ford"

What is it with some people? If i didn't know much about cars i'd shut my mouth once i found i was out of my depth in the convo.

 

Ahhhhh,,, Mummy's little Saxo soliders..

 

Quality post people I'm LMAO here

 

Agar - the good thing is these fanny's wll be poncin around in mummy's saxo/corsa/polo etc etc etc and we'll be in "hefty nice briefs" pasting them when their 4 chaved up in the town doin traffic light grand prix's

 

my mate rekons he can buy chip for his 1.1 205, that will give him 20 bhp HAHA

roudn here most people respect the cosworths and know there propa cars espesh when modified!!!!

carl

 

If I think i'm about to be cornered and bored by one of those clueless pricks - I just tell em i've got an old sierra.

They leave me alone then!!

 

I got a rouse 304r because it got 300lfb torque and 4wd