monday morning joke
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From: stockton on tees
monday morning joke
just to cheer you up on a monday morning
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place,and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet,cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in thebedroom,with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touchedby the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all alongthe bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf,
and huge, enormous bears runningall the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for anobviously masculine guyto have such a large collection of Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his sensitive side.but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and,
after awhile, she finds herself thinking,'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips
He responds warmly.They continue to kiss, the passionbuilds,
and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom
where they rip off each other'sclothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion,more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive nightof raw passion with this sensitive guy,they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gentlystrokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,strokes her cheek,looks deeply into her eyes,and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
steve
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place,and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet,cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in thebedroom,with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touchedby the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all alongthe bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf,
and huge, enormous bears runningall the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for anobviously masculine guyto have such a large collection of Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his sensitive side.but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and,
after awhile, she finds herself thinking,'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips
He responds warmly.They continue to kiss, the passionbuilds,
and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom
where they rip off each other'sclothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion,more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive nightof raw passion with this sensitive guy,they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gentlystrokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,strokes her cheek,looks deeply into her eyes,and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
steve
Last edited by The Youth.; Oct 5, 2009 at 10:13 AM.
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Shotgun Bunter
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From: CRAWLEY
Lol, not heard that before. Got sent this in an e-mail this morning too...
A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a dog and a cat.
The fire-fighter walks over to take a closer look: 'That's a lovely fire engine,' he says admiringly.
'Thanks,' says the little girl. The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the cart's strings to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.
'Little colleague,' says the fire-fighter, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.'
The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks into the fireman's eyes and says:
'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a fucking siren, would I?'
A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a dog and a cat.
The fire-fighter walks over to take a closer look: 'That's a lovely fire engine,' he says admiringly.
'Thanks,' says the little girl. The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the cart's strings to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.
'Little colleague,' says the fire-fighter, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.'
The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks into the fireman's eyes and says:
'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a fucking siren, would I?'
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