thursday joke
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toodle pip !
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 379
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From: cardboard city
thursday joke
Job Vacancy.
A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Gloucester and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.
Interested he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk.
The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies, "Uh - yes here it is... OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist.
You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions.
Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination.
There's an annual salary of £45,000 but I'm afraid you'll have to go to Cardiff ."
"Oh why, is that where the job's based?"
"No - that's where the end of the queue is"
A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Gloucester and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.
Interested he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk.
The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies, "Uh - yes here it is... OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist.
You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions.
Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination.
There's an annual salary of £45,000 but I'm afraid you'll have to go to Cardiff ."
"Oh why, is that where the job's based?"
"No - that's where the end of the queue is"
Thread Starter
toodle pip !
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 379
Likes: 0
From: cardboard city
and another
A Woman was out golfing one
day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband
the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and
he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he
will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild
heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good.
Male readers :
Please scroll down.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
..
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women never listen...now run along and put the kettle on, there's a love.
A Woman was out golfing one
day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband
the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and
he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he
will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild
heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good.
Male readers :
Please scroll down.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
..
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women never listen...now run along and put the kettle on, there's a love.
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From: Cannot be identified by the information given.
Originally Posted by foreigneRS
for the first joke i thought the punchline was going to be
"no, that's were all the cunts are"
"no, that's were all the cunts are"
Would of been better if it was said like that lol
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