I went to the Patent Office to register some of my inventions.

I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that
had to be filled out.

She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.



I said, "A folding bottle."

She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"

I said "A Fottle."

"What else do you have?"she asked me.

I said "A folding carton."

"And what do you call it?"

I said "A Farton."

She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products! And of them
sounds kind of crude."

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office
without even telling her about my folding bucket.

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmmm not bad

 

 

 

 

i was stopped the other night for alleged drink driving
but i refused to blow into the bag so they took me down the station
they took a urine sample as they had to wait for the doctor and left me in a cell
as they banged the door closed, i don't know what happened, but it didn't shut properly and was unlatched
after a while the noise died down and i took a peek outside and there was no one there
i walked out and had a look around and spotted the urine sample on the shelf so i pocketed it
i put on a helmet and jacket and made my way out of the station and wasn't stoppped by anyone
i got home and thought "phew, made a clean getaway"
until plod knocked on my door and arrested me again
i'm out on bail at the moment
but the police want to do me for taking the piss

 

 

5000 israeli troops have entered jordan.....early reports say she is tired and a bit sore











sorry that was terrible

 

ROLF
PMSL

 

lololol

 

rapidly turning into the shit joke thread

 

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

" Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

 

I like shit jokes ,,keep them coming

 

did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil

 

smackhead walks into the jobcentre and tells the assistant hes desperate for a job....the assistant replies"thats fortunate,we have just got one in for a chauffeur for a multi millionaire to look after his twin nympho daughters,on overseas trips with a salary of 200k a year"the smackhead says "your bullshitting me....." the assistant replies "you fucking started it!"

 

 

PMSL!!