Do something for yourself then, book something private like my mother did. Dont necessarly relay on the NHS as the single source of getting sorted.

And I can't believe there is no one out there, you are friends with and can confide in? i'm sure there is someone you get on with.

I would try and get out and about, rather than sitting at home.

Anyway best of luck mate, do something about it rather than being a 'victim of it'