I'm at work catching up with my paperwork and my phone rings the conversation went something like this...

"Hello Stuart Speaking."
"Ello Mate, I'd like to talk about a business I want to start and been told your the man to speak to."
"Sure, I'd be happy to, tell me about what your looking to do?"
"I want to buy a night club."
"Ok, have you got an idea of what one?"
"Dont know."
"Ok, how much are you looking to spend buying one and do you have any money to put towards it?"
"Erm, I dunno how much, how much does a night club cost? And I dont have any money."
"Ok, its probably a good idea to have a look at some places, get an idea how much you need to spend. But, if you dont have any money where are you going to get it from?"
"The bank."
"So you want 100% of the money to buy your business from the bank?
"Yeah."
"Ok, do you own your own home?"
"No, I live with my parents."
"Ok, so you dont have any money or assets? Where are you going to get money for stock? Refurbishing? Staff?"
"Erm, Dunno."
"Do you have any experience in working or managing a nightclub?"
"No, but my mate is a DJ."
"Ok, so you don't know anything about running a nightclub, have no money or assets what so ever and you want all the money to do this from the Bank?"
"Yeah."
"I don't think we can help you at this time, I recommend going on our website and looking up business planning guides and starting there. Once you have a plan, and you know how much money you need to spend, give me a call and we can talk further."
"Ok mate, thanks!"

I wasn't really sure if it was a wind up or not