Went through this with a close friend of mine, he was 27. It ruined me totally.

I just gave loads of cash to the hospice every day i went, several times a week. They do an amazing job, not gonna type it all up as it will all come back.

I was an absolute mess. Floods of tears the second i left, uncontrollable and up to then i was quite cold and very incontrol of my emotions.
I'd be all normal and matey when i was with him, immensely difficult, but it's what i-he needed. Just a bit of a laugh and act like nothing was the matter.
He drifted off to sleep while talking to me and i started to break down. He started to come round and i had to quickly get my act together and act normal so he wouldn't notice.
Loved the fella, i visited him once and had a black eye from scrapping and he was more concered about me and telling me to behave, even though he was falling to pieces before me. That crushed me a bit and made me take stock.

It's impossibly tough, but if you can go and be upbeat, do it! Got a lump in my throat thinking through it all again now, but it's what mates and family are for.


Go, smile, be strong. Then when you get away from the place, let it all out. I dreaded every day and every step i made towards the hospice, but it had to be done.

It's a horrible thing but a test we sometimes have to face.