mate your just going through a shite time at the min, you need your friends for help here tbh aswell as doctors, ex partners aint a help and,,,,, tbh you sound like you do alot of selfish things though when things go bad you seem to depend on people........maybe you need to think about applying yourself better and work harder thinking of others too and you might not think soo bad of yourself perhaps

im going through a tough time but having mates around helps me alot,,, also as sad as it sounds having mates with problems also helps to forget about yours

brief example of my life,,,,,, 4 months ago i had a home, partner, little girl i lived with and not a single money worry and a fair bit of cash in the bank, working in a department i was requested to work with very low working hours,,,, now im living back with parents, got no savings left that i could live on for more than a month or 2, was asked to leave my last job due to my nature of being straight to people as in i dont kiss arse and aint got a clue whats going on in my life either,

im also luck i have a unit of good mates who look out for me, some more than others tbh but i hope in a few months my life will start to move forward again as there aint much further i can go back tbh

good luck anyway and hope things sort themselves out,,,,, just remember it may feel like your the only one but some people have things much worse too im afraid