i got caught speeding the other day. The policeman pulls me over and asked what i was rushing for. I told him i was late for work. He replies "So what do you do for job then?". I reply "Well i'm and arsehole stretcher". "Arsehole stretcher?" he replies, "what do you do then?".

"Well" I replied, "I lube up my finger, a slide it in the customers arsehole, then 2 fingers, 3, 4 then my whole fist. Then i added another finger, 2,3,4 eventually putting both hands in. Once i'm at this stage i keep pulling and pulling until we end up with a 6ft arsehole."

The copper replies "What do you do with a 6ft arseholes?"










So i reply "Give him a uniform and a speed gun"