From one of my all time fav films - What's Up Doc

Howard: Sir, my name is Howard Bannister and I'm from Ames, Iowa.
Judge Maxwell: No excuse.
Howard: No, sir, it all started when I bumped my head in the taxi... on the way in from the airport.
Judge Maxwell: Are you pleading insanity or amnesia?
Howard: Neither. I went to the drugstore to get something for a headache... the druggist tried to charge me for a radio. She said her husband would pay for it. But I didn't, of course.
Judge Maxwell: Of course.
Howard: She ripped my jacket and when Eunice came along...
Judge Maxwell: Who's Eunice?
Howard: Eunice is my fiancée.
Judge Maxwell: You have a wife AND a fiancée?
Howard: No, sir. But, she kept calling me "Steve."
Judge Maxwell: Your own fiancée calls you "Steve?"
Howard: No, sir, my wife. Or rather, the one who ISN'T my wife.
Judge Maxwell: What does the one who isn't your FIANCEE call you? Howard?
Howard: No, sir, the one who isn't my fiancée doesn't call me Howard and the one who isn't my wife doesn't call me Howard because the one who isn't my fiancée is also the one who isn't my wife. The other one who ISN'T my wife, the one who IS my fiancée... she doesn't call me "Steve." She calls me Howard. Do you see?
Judge Maxwell: Let's just skip over this part, and move on.
Howard: That night at the banquet she was there again.
Judge Maxwell: Who was there, your wife or your fiancée?
Howard: Neither.
Judge Maxwell: There's a third?
Howard: No, sir, the one who isn't either. Everyone was calling her "Burnsy."
Judge Maxwell: Why?
Howard: That's short for Burns, Eunice's last name.
Judge Maxwell: Eunice WAS there.
Howard: No, sir, BURNSY was there. Or rather, the one who ISN'T Burnsy.