Originally Posted by Thrush
I DO know both sides of the story and not just one side. My father made a concious descision to leave my family as it wasn't what he wanted and he chose a "better" life elsewhere.
I was 19/20 when he left. My older brother is 3 years older, my sisters are 3 years and 6yrs younger than me. I do not know WHY they have accepted him back where I can't - I don't talk about it with them either.
At least he stayed in what was an unhappy marriage for him until you and your brother and sisters were teenagers/adults and didn't your mum when you were all youngsters.
Why do I not want to see him? Cos I am as stubborn a fucker as he is, and I also stand behind decisions I have made. If he really wanted to leave so badly, and didn't want anything to do with us, then he should have some fucking integrity and stay the fuck away. Not fuck off to suit himself THEN decide he still wants to see us kids. Bollocks - as I said, close a door, then it should remain closed.
People say and do things then regret them after giving it more thought. You have really answered your own dilemma Thrush.... you're just being a stubborn fucker and that is over-ruling any logical thinking and you are not willing to show any humility to forgive him and put things behind you.
On the other side of the coin, I still feel he DOES owe me, and I want to keep the money to show that. It's not about the money per say - the item in question could be a fucking frog for all I care - it's the principal. I am a very moral person, but often confused
Ermmm... what exactly does he OWE you? You were an adult when he left and able to stand on your own two feet, you didn't need him to support you, so why does he owe you anything? You claim your stubborness is stopping you and if you have morals like you claim, you should return the money and make it perfectly clear - you want no contact or gifts. Sadly, marriages do break up, so accept that and get on with your own life.