im drinking more now than i used to. i used to drink alot like night out etc but i take that as me growning up and that etc.

ive calmed down in the past year cause well i couldnt afford to do it lol

but now im drinking like right now too chill me out cause if not ill be all over the place. its not great drinking so much infact im sick of drinking but im also soooo fucked off of feeling dodgy too so hence i got the stella on the go..again


earlier today i had to pick my stepdad up it only a 10 min drive and local place ive always been to. got in the S2 which i love driving but started feeling crap after 3/4 mins. my heart was going nuts felt like i couldnt breathe and was going to pass out. i wanted to go home again. but i carried on and wasnt too bad in the end but was shaking to fuck. when i saw my stepdad i say the same thing as i always do "im ok aint i?" "i aint gonna die" sounds stupid but unless like a lot of you know you cant flick that switch in ya head that its a panic attack.