johnandhissaffy

iTrader: (1)

to natehall and benjaminsamy
massive repect to you both you've made your loved ones proud

cabrio zo

My hardest thing was watching my Mum go through treatment for colorectal cancer, not so much chemo effects, but worse the horrendous radiation burns on very sensitive areas, she really was going through hell too see her in so much pain, upset and essentially giving up was definitely the hardest thing

I'm in tears now read all of everyone elses stores

cjwood555

mate my daughter was born 1minute into new years day... so as she was approaching her birthday you were putting your little lad to rest. i can't bear to try to imagine how that must've felt for you and so sorry for your loss. i'm sure he felt loved completely while he was here, and that's the best thing you can give.

DanW@FastFord

iTrader: (1)

.

-beefy-

iTrader: (6)

fair play mate , just rember we live there memorys thru our lives !

theres not a day goes by i dont think of my old man , was my birthday thursday , ended up taking his picture over to the club and having a drink with him ..... what a plonker i am lol


the only thing that got me thru the week between him passing and the funeral was making him proud , and giving him a good sendoff ,

im glad i can stand here today and say he got that , people still mention it today who attended when they see me

not long ago a very very good friend of my mothers and our family lost her battle with cancer ,

her 3 sons and daughter all in there 40's came to my house and personally sat down and asked me to speak at her funeral , having attended my fathers ..

i did , over ran by bout ten minuites but its had to sum up a 75 yr old woman in ten min - no chance !!!!!

think every person at the funeral shook my hand or hugged me ,




my mum said its one of the most proudest times of her life , watching her son stand there and do it twice ,


ive got to admit ....that made me feel pretty damm good ....

fordrallycar

iTrader: (4)

Mine was having to leave my 3 kids after my ex wife told me she was seeing some one else
I will never forget there faces when i told them

cabriolet

crap its hard to even type loosing my brother in law and lifetime best friend and loosing my mum / travelling buddy best friend scrap yard mate she travelled 100 thousand miles with me loss dont come close and i feel for all in what must be the best thread ever gotta go wipe the snot and mess off and pull myself together cabriolet

Mint FRST

iTrader: (1)

Some amazing stories here...

Being an emotional type of guy very easy to well up to a lot of these.

Myself, well there are a few which include death of loved ones and carrying coffins etc etc but blaming myself for for a serious injury via an attack to a loved one (Which wasnt any fault of my own) and it completely changing your family relationships there on in afterwards has to be it.

Not a day goes by thinking 'what if?' etc etc. Knowing the culpret got away scott free and knowing alot about him after the event like his address etc etc doesnt help...

benjaminsarmy

its very sad and congrats on yr new born
my son was with his nanny and grandad and the mother , i was at home getting ready i was around 20mins away from her pearents house it was new years eve so i decided to get ready and meet my bird and everyone at her mums as i got there parked up my bird let me in the door and as i came in to the front room theres was my son as i went to sit down within 2mins of being at her mums my boy seemed to be going red/greay in the face my bird noticed this right away and rush to see what was wrong with him as she lift him my boy just went all floppy and there was no responce .we called 999 but sadly before they could arive im sure he had already gone but they still tryed to recover him for 45 mins before heding of to the hospital ,, my gut feeling was very very upseting as i felt to hurt anyone in my way and felt so hopeless ,,, now i have too bare the flash backs and distant memories that i had from my 1mnth old baby boy ... RIP baby archie ...
this is what i thought for my boy well my poem
"These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part."

Less.

got a tear in my eye reading your last post Benjaminsarmy

benjaminsarmy

arr bleess you

cossie891

iTrader: (1)

Benjaminsarmy I am so sorry for ure loss I couldn't imagine anything like that ure post has made tears streaming down my face and I'm a grown man that never cries
I really don't know wot to say and that poem. Jesus it is amazing

oriurbo

I am with everyone else there really can't imagine how that feels couldn't bear to lose my kids my heart goes out to you. me and my missus both sat and cried together reading your poem i feel for you good luck for your future RIP.

natehall

iTrader: (2)

my heart goes out to you benjaminsarmy, however I know what you mean about little things like a poem making you feel better.

we have a song that makes us think of Oliver..

Ronan Keeting - When You Say Nothing at All

due to his disability he couldnt communicate with language - but he still communicated without saying anything at all.

also we had one coping strategy I still use today...

Whenever someone asked how we are feeling, we said were fine.

we didnt tell them what it meant in our heads when we said it:

Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional/Exhausted

botters

iTrader: (2)

+1 really got me that

benjaminsarmy

thank you and please take a moment for us all heres yr one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuJrEBtmM1Q

STAFFY OWNER

Benjaminsarmy, i don't know what to say but i want to say something, words just seem insignificant. All that springs to mind is how much respect i have for you. I can't ever recall you bad mouthing anyone on here and you always seem to be so upbeat and cheery. I just can't imagine where you dig up the strength and courage to deal with something that must still be as raw as a gaping wound.
Huge respect especially to you Ben and also to everyone else dealing with difficult/heart breaking situations.

benjaminsarmy

thanks staffy
https://passionford.com/forum/genera...357-r-i-p.html
this was my thread back then

benjaminsarmy

all up from now https://passionford.com/forum/genera...had-to-do.html

CharlyC85

OMG Lads & Ladettes! Ive just joined Passion Ford and the first thread Ive read has me balling my eyes out! I didn't think men could be so sensitive, it's really heartwarming to know.

Please do not place judgement - The hardest thing i've ever had to do was have an abortion at 15, not that I felt I had a choice in the matter. Even now 10 years on I cannot seem to forgive myself. My current partner since just after then is my rock and soul mate, been engaged 4 years and he's 8 years older than me, but wierdly there no children running round our feet, I think I subconsiously feel that I'm not worthy or deserve such a blessing. The guilt will never go away. Not nice.

On a happier note; I recently had a very hard time with my pet house rabbit Bruno when he sufferred symptoms of EConicoli a parasite that affects his brain and kidney causing head tilt, eye twitching, moving in circles from disorintation, and seisures causing him to barrel roll uncontrollably until I managed to settle him. This was not nice to see, especially to an animal you love. The vets had prepared me for the worst and didn't think he'd make it, which then made it harder for me to care for him like this as we wondered whether it would be fairer and kinder to put him to sleep. The good bits comming; After two and a half weeks with him on the sofa (luckily I wasn't working at the time) he started to show signs of improvement. I wasn't going to give up on him as easily as the Vets and I'm so glad I didn't. Now; three months on, he has fully recovered with absolutely no sign of any symptoms whatsoever. A happy ending but it was very very emotionally hard being responsible for the decisions.

Thanks for sharing.
CharlyC85

D.K.

Thats a really nice poem sorry for your loss.

Hardest thing ive ever had to do was watch my 6 week old son take his last breath in my arms as all the machines were switched off, its been 3 years now but still get the flash backs and feels real all over again.

benjaminsarmy

Doug

Benjaminsarmy massive massive respect to you sir !!!

my wife claire and I lost a little boy in may last year that is the single most hardest thing that we have had to deal with , Our children should out live us ! not the other way round !!! ,
Life sometimes deals us a real sh*t hand and it sould'nt be like that life is difficault enough as is ,
The second hardest thing is watchin his identical twin brother grow up and wishing that he was still here and what if , What would he be like, Would he be the same as alfie in every way ?
god bless jack mommy, daddy and alfie miss you and love you dearly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx





Regards Doug.

benjaminsarmy

Coldo

After reading some of the stuff posted already, i feel almost embarrassed at mine.... however losing over 8stone/56kg has been the hardest thing ive ever done.

Changed my life dramatically for the better, people treat me totally differently nowadays, i can do more things physically, feel better mentally and obviously look much better, i'm a new man.

Incidentally, i had to write a 750 word report on "the hardest thing ive ever done" at a job interview last month, which made me brick it and think of the above.

Darylc.

iTrader: (1)

I've made my family promise that if I end up like that, switch it off as it's not a life.


dunno what to say to that.


I suppose mine would be a few years back when my dog died, and putting up with the aftermath. I knew it was coming, he's was seriously ill all week, yet the week before he was a typical fun loving happy dog. We decided if it got really bad, we'd put him down. I was in school and my parents had promised that if they decided to have him put down they'd get me first so I could say goodbye. They didn't and, tbh, I still haven't truly forgiven them, though I don't hate them for it now, I did at the time. At the time my life was proper shit (Don't really want to go into why) and he was literally my only friend. The school sent me to a physciatrist or whatever the hell he was and I just said fuck all to him. About a month later I was kicked out of that school and sent to another where things got so much better. Now I feel so much better and cant even remember who I call the old me. I only vaguely remember the events, even though it was only just over 2 years ago.

R.I.P Jerri (we still have that squeaky steak and I still have your lead)



The major thing that still lives from that time though is a hatred of rats. the vet said it was a disease spread by rat bites that killed him. A week or 2 later i saw a rat in the garden, so I stuck a shovel that was nearby through it's neck. Even now, if I see a rat, I wont use poison, I'll shoot with an air rifle, aiming for its stomach or whatever, so it doesn't die instantly. A close mate of mine's sister had a pet rat or mouse (i forget which, didnt matter to me though) and asked if I'd look after it while they weere on holiday and I couldnt as I didn't trust myself with it.


My story seems petty compared to what some of you have been through so maximum repect to you

-beefy-

iTrader: (6)

at then end of the day ,

peoples relation to there hardest thing is what they think it is ,

i would never judge anyone and say ," well that aint that hard "



coldo , fair play mate - personally being a big lad ( around 24 stone ) i couldnt dream of the effort , commitment and sheer determination it took to loose that amout of weight , i know from working in weight loss camps in the usa that shedding weight and more importantly keeping it off is no walk in the park ,


there aint a smiley for " give yaself a pat on the back " , but if there were id post it bud

rocky_robin

What's the hardest thing that I've done?

Lay my baby daughter into her grave.

Even though thats 2-1/2 years ago, I still shead a tear everyday (in private).

Adrian

Same for me this, seeing my mother (She was 38) dying in a hospital bed at 13 (39 now) and saying goodbye to my father at the chapel of rest (he 55 and I was 33). Was asked by brother to carry his coffin but couldnt do it, and in the end neither could he.

Ciderwoman

Really heartrenching stories here. It really shows how much crap someone can go through in a life. My hardest thing well i guess its been a couple of main things the first one was when i 8 my dad died 3 days after christmas, i felt like i had to be strong for my mum and my 5 year old sister, i used to hate going to school and seeing peoples dads there and now a days it really winds me up when there are dads out there who dont pay an interest in their child cus some people dont get the option if they have their dad around.
The other hardest thing is when my daughter was born it was painful and emotional and when she was delivered it was the happest time in my life, the midwife looked at me with a worried look, which scared me shitless i wondered what was wrong i could hear my daughter crying and then they gave her to me, and then the midwife told me she would get a doctor. long story short after a few hours was told i had a healthy baby girl but seems she was one of a twin and the other had'nt made it developed right when it was about 8 weeks, we had no idea there was a 2nd so it was a hard situation yes i was up set but i never knew about it and we also we had this gorgeous daughter. That was a really hard situation to deal with.



Love to all the little ones who never had to chance to live a life that we sometimes take for granted. RIP little angels.

Benni

The fact that the doggy was your only friend tells me a dog is much more than a just a dog. He's a mate, a best friend and much more. RIP Doggy.

Benni.

benjaminsarmy

**caz**

I have just read this whole thread, and it certainly has bought a tear to my eye

so much courage from you all, to deal with and get through some VERY difficult times!

I have had 4 funerals to go to in my time, the first was 15 years ago...i was 10 and it was my grandad's funeral. Still to this day i can picture everything from that day, not a day goes by that i dont think about him or wish he was still here. Breast cancer took him from us and we had to watch him deteriorate(sp), that was extremely hard and even now find it hard to understand how quickly it all happened, being 10 years old,

4 years ago today, my friend James Sackett was taken from us. I cant even find the words right now, today is a very sad day and i dont know what to say or what to write i just wish he was still here now, where has 4 years gone? miss him so much, miss his laugh, his smile, his wobble when on his bike, his love for dr pepper and skittles, he would have been 25 last week, he was certainly one in a million, i know he is up there riding with the angels xxxxxxxxxxxx R.I.P xxxxxxxxxx

natehall

iTrader: (2)

I dont think its the hard times that maketh the man(or women)

its how we deal with them.

there have been many a time ive found myself at rock bottom, getting maid redundant dec 2008 a week before christmas, and not being paid what was owed to me in wages, we had literally been living hand to mouth the week before waiting for payday so we could go shopping - and not getting paid not only mean we couldnt afford to pay the bils, but we did not have a penny in the bank to put even a loaf of bread on the table.

with a lot of luck, one of the clients asked me to do a job freelance for him, it was only a job for Ł200, but he paid via bank transfer immediately and it meant we could go out and buy some food, my father in law helped us out by lending us enough money with a cheque - you ever tried clearing a cheque over xmas - 2 weeks )to pay the bills till the end of Jan 09, and my mum turned up at my house with about 10-15 bags of food from morrisons, all within 24 hours of it sinking it we wasnt being paid.

only one of my friends offered any help - now the only person I class as a friend.

This is by far not a patch on the christmas Ollie died in terms of an emotional low, however our response was not to lie back and wallow in self pity over yet another shit xmas, but to build a business which to this day supports us and allows me to keep the roof over my head!

All of the lows I have had, from being diagnosed disabled, to both my brothers having a severe disability and one dieing, almost being shoved on the sideline, the one thing that keeps me going is the fact I will not be put down and kept down - I refuse to give up on my targets (I believe a dream is just your first way of saying it will never happen) and will achieve every single one of those targets.

My First Target - Find a box of tissues to dry my eyes from this thread and what everyone is going/been through.

Darylc.

iTrader: (1)

completely true

benjaminsarmy

thanks for the support some of you guys are like real mates
thanks for yr time

Retro Al

iTrader: (1)

Hardest thing for me is keeping my head when some wanker killed my brother in a rta,he was found guilty of causing death by dangerous driving
He was let off due to a blood illness(wtf!),the fact he smiled at my mum when he walked out of court didnt help
If i didnt have 2 young boys to bring up and probably would have killed him,in fact if i ever get cancer i shall be hunting the cunt down

benjaminsarmy

sorry to hear that mate that is hard as losing anybody that you love its a thing we all have to experiance one day
keep yr chin up mate and trust karma

barriegti

driving my dads scooby back from ross on wye after he swaped it for his td5 disco on swapz v reg td5 for a scooby 02 reg wrx sti not impressed ha ha ha ha

Westy

iTrader: (1)

#
not read whole thread but saw this..... respect mate! I would have got him killed!

You done well to control it