The single hardest thing you've ever had to do ?
25-08-2010, 08:43 PM
#41
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April 25th 2005, was one of the hardest days of my life, when my dad died of lung/liver cancer, watched him age what looked like 30 years in 6 months.
There must have been nearly 500 at his funeral, and alot of them were my friends which he new from when i was a kid, through growing up, to lads and lasses from the pub, i broke down in the car when we got to the crematourium, i didnt realise how many would turn up to pay there respects.
I dont fear many people, but i always had a healthy fear and massive respect for my dad, and i would hope he would be proud of the man i am today.
There must have been nearly 500 at his funeral, and alot of them were my friends which he new from when i was a kid, through growing up, to lads and lasses from the pub, i broke down in the car when we got to the crematourium, i didnt realise how many would turn up to pay there respects.
I dont fear many people, but i always had a healthy fear and massive respect for my dad, and i would hope he would be proud of the man i am today.
25-08-2010, 08:47 PM
#42
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Separating from my wife and son although we are still very good friends.
Having to identify the body of my 17 year old stepson.
Loosing one of my best mates in February this year to suicide. Still can't believe he's gone, just wish i'd known what was going on in his mind as i'm sure i could have stopped him even if it was just by not letting him out of my sight until his head cleared - RIP Brian mate you bloody idiot.
Beefy you truly are a rock for your family, i wouldn't have been able to hold myself together. A few years back when my dad was diagnosed with cancer i was a blubbering wreck just at the thought of loosing him, luckily after a long hard struggle he beat it.
My thoughts go out to everybody on hear that has had hard times & tough decisions to make.
Having to identify the body of my 17 year old stepson.
Loosing one of my best mates in February this year to suicide. Still can't believe he's gone, just wish i'd known what was going on in his mind as i'm sure i could have stopped him even if it was just by not letting him out of my sight until his head cleared - RIP Brian mate you bloody idiot.
Beefy you truly are a rock for your family, i wouldn't have been able to hold myself together. A few years back when my dad was diagnosed with cancer i was a blubbering wreck just at the thought of loosing him, luckily after a long hard struggle he beat it.
My thoughts go out to everybody on hear that has had hard times & tough decisions to make.
25-08-2010, 08:56 PM
#43
Where to start...
I've had a few mates die, but the 3 that stick out are the one who passed away after spinal cancer absolutly ravaged him to the point where he was amputated from the waist down in order to try and stop it, one who passed away while playing hockey of a heart attack or his brother who was shot dead.
As a personal family thing the first one was my uncle passing away and I was thr last person to see him alive after he had bowel surgery, my nan passing away in hospital or when I found out the mrs had a miscarriage, I actually collapsed in the hospital and ended up laying in another ward.
I don't think that I could survive another day like that, looking at your baby laying there...
I've had a few mates die, but the 3 that stick out are the one who passed away after spinal cancer absolutly ravaged him to the point where he was amputated from the waist down in order to try and stop it, one who passed away while playing hockey of a heart attack or his brother who was shot dead.
As a personal family thing the first one was my uncle passing away and I was thr last person to see him alive after he had bowel surgery, my nan passing away in hospital or when I found out the mrs had a miscarriage, I actually collapsed in the hospital and ended up laying in another ward.
I don't think that I could survive another day like that, looking at your baby laying there...
25-08-2010, 09:04 PM
#44
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stu , as said before massive condolences to you and also fellow posters ,
mine has to be loosing my dad , he got diagnosed in the november , i gave up my job in the january when he got really bad , spent every day taking him to the hospital ect ,
lol rember one night i snuck him out the hozzy... wheelchair n all at about 1 am in the evening , for fish n chips pmsl we drove around for an hour trying to find a chippy ..that was the last time me n him had a chuckle
anyway ,couple of weeks later , he passed away on fathers day 2009 , id spent the evening before sat in his room with him watching him struggle to breathe ,holding his hand ect . 8 am the next morning i left to go home to get sum sleep upon the orders of family ect ,
i got woken up @ 10:25 am by my mum to say he had passed away ....
my dad lived 5 min from me but that walk seemed like it took an hour
when i got to his house i closed his eyes , sat in the room whilst everyone came and said there goodbyes , held my brothers whilst they broke down in tears , and had to help carry him down with the funeral directors ,
i organised the entire funeral , he got a massive turnout me and some close family carried him into the crem
i conducted the full 45 minuite ceramony including talking about his life , intrducing three friends who spoke about him , played his songs and even the final committal and closed the curtains in the chapel , all without breaking down ,
even now i kinda dont know how i managed , at the time it didnt seem real ,i wanted to do him proud so i kept it together ,
looking back , it has to be the single most hardest thing ive done , and its only a year or so on the harsh reality of loosing my dad and best mate is sinking in .......
i really do feel for folk who have lost people , and i can also relate to sapphlover loosing a ex partners child , as been in your situation aswell fella word for word ,
beef
mine has to be loosing my dad , he got diagnosed in the november , i gave up my job in the january when he got really bad , spent every day taking him to the hospital ect ,
lol rember one night i snuck him out the hozzy... wheelchair n all at about 1 am in the evening , for fish n chips pmsl we drove around for an hour trying to find a chippy ..that was the last time me n him had a chuckle
anyway ,couple of weeks later , he passed away on fathers day 2009 , id spent the evening before sat in his room with him watching him struggle to breathe ,holding his hand ect . 8 am the next morning i left to go home to get sum sleep upon the orders of family ect ,
i got woken up @ 10:25 am by my mum to say he had passed away ....
my dad lived 5 min from me but that walk seemed like it took an hour
when i got to his house i closed his eyes , sat in the room whilst everyone came and said there goodbyes , held my brothers whilst they broke down in tears , and had to help carry him down with the funeral directors ,
i organised the entire funeral , he got a massive turnout me and some close family carried him into the crem
i conducted the full 45 minuite ceramony including talking about his life , intrducing three friends who spoke about him , played his songs and even the final committal and closed the curtains in the chapel , all without breaking down ,
even now i kinda dont know how i managed , at the time it didnt seem real ,i wanted to do him proud so i kept it together ,
looking back , it has to be the single most hardest thing ive done , and its only a year or so on the harsh reality of loosing my dad and best mate is sinking in .......
i really do feel for folk who have lost people , and i can also relate to sapphlover loosing a ex partners child , as been in your situation aswell fella word for word ,
beef
Benni.
25-08-2010, 09:13 PM
#45
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Some sad storys.
Mine is going to my Great grandad for the last time when I was young as his was dying of cancer. Never forget him shaking my hand and walking out looking back at him.
One of my best mates had a really Bad motor bike accident was we was 16 (Peds) A mental poll came off a lorry and hit him in the head
was in a coma for a while. and parents would let us see him for a year. first day I see him never felt so gutted and angry. Recovered really well now and only has minor brain damage. Still comes all the show with me 
Mine is going to my Great grandad for the last time when I was young as his was dying of cancer. Never forget him shaking my hand and walking out looking back at him.
One of my best mates had a really Bad motor bike accident was we was 16 (Peds) A mental poll came off a lorry and hit him in the head
was in a coma for a while. and parents would let us see him for a year. first day I see him never felt so gutted and angry. Recovered really well now and only has minor brain damage. Still comes all the show with me
25-08-2010, 09:17 PM
#46
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mine would have to be letting my lifetime golden retriever go.... poor guy had a good 16 years, that day really did break my heart. never felt like that before in my life, was a wreck for weeks just because every day he wasnt there. will never forget him infact im naming my house when i build it after him... *bracken* RIP
25-08-2010, 10:05 PM
#47
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i lost my dad when i was 17 and that never really sank in it was all sureal, never cried that much(dont know why) then 2005 i lost my mom to lung cancer .Now she was my rock and i owe so much to her . , Well the hardest thing for me was going into the hospital room and seeing her lying there looking empty and soul less after only a few hours of leaving her at home to go to work ,i was expecting the worst but rushed in because i needed to see her and just colapssed to the floor screaming, i did'nt want to leave her side (That was one of the worst thing's/times in my life) i arranged her funeral and picked the coffin which was called the same name as the kitchen style i baught and fitted for her two years previous .I picked the songs for her cerimony and picked the flowers for the day.
But she taught me a verse when my dad passed away that preppared me for the bad day's and it goes like this
GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE , COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN , AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I sure do know how the pain feels from loosing some one / some thing you love. All The best David
But she taught me a verse when my dad passed away that preppared me for the bad day's and it goes like this
GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE , COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN , AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I sure do know how the pain feels from loosing some one / some thing you love. All The best David
25-08-2010, 10:24 PM
#48
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some really touching words in this thread, the hardest thing for me was probably watching the very strong woman that was my grandmother deteriorate due to dementia.
25-08-2010, 10:31 PM
#49
my hardest time was deciding not to go and see my grandad on the wednesday night in hospital because i was young and stupid and just wanted to go out with my mates and get stoned on the park, i told my mum i would go see him on thursday night after school.
he passed away on the thursday morning, i will never forgive myself for that act of selfishness
he passed away on the thursday morning, i will never forgive myself for that act of selfishness
25-08-2010, 11:19 PM
#50
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I was 12. I read a poem I'd written for my nana at her funeral. She knew she was going home to Bristol to die and didn't tell any of us.
Was 13 years ago but i still remember the way she smelled and everything.
Currently dealing with my nan going slowly mad in a psychiatric ward. That's harder for my mum though.
I'm usually very good at dealing with crisis and tragedy. It's seeing other people I love on pain that I can't deal with!
Was 13 years ago but i still remember the way she smelled and everything.
Currently dealing with my nan going slowly mad in a psychiatric ward. That's harder for my mum though.
I'm usually very good at dealing with crisis and tragedy. It's seeing other people I love on pain that I can't deal with!
26-08-2010, 12:01 AM
#51
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I suppose in some ways i'm very lucky, at 27 i've still got all 4 grandparents and have never experienced a death that has 'greatly' affected me.
However, having read the posts from various people above a can understand the magnatude such an event must have on somebody.
The hardest thing i've ever done, was admit to myself and then onto my family that i have an addiction, all the lies, theft and general 'junky' behaviour that they'd (i'd) been denying for so long was true.
Too watch the collapse of my immediate close family, the rifts forming and the subsequent re-building of relationships has been immensly difficult for me.
Not quite death, but i've done so much damage that i realise, and so much i can't yet comprehend, that to many of my closest relations i am dead, and as an effect of my own doing, they might as well be.
However, having read the posts from various people above a can understand the magnatude such an event must have on somebody.
The hardest thing i've ever done, was admit to myself and then onto my family that i have an addiction, all the lies, theft and general 'junky' behaviour that they'd (i'd) been denying for so long was true.
Too watch the collapse of my immediate close family, the rifts forming and the subsequent re-building of relationships has been immensly difficult for me.
Not quite death, but i've done so much damage that i realise, and so much i can't yet comprehend, that to many of my closest relations i am dead, and as an effect of my own doing, they might as well be.
26-08-2010, 12:32 AM
#52
couple of things.
going to my mums funeral when i was 11 and remaining composed was damned hard. She'd been ill for years and had had two failed kidney transplants, was brain damaged and wheelchair bound and couldnt look after herself so on balance it ended her suffering yet i still wanted her back. I wont forget when she was rushed into hospital, went into cardiac arrest, came back for a bit, said "I'm still here" with a look of disapointment on her face, gasped then died.
I used to think it was my fault she said that although i know different now.
Another massively hard thing has been making life or death decisions not for me but in the forces when youve got other peoples lives in your hands. The very first time you make a decision like that is the hardest decision you can make. But at the same time you HAVE to make a decision and stand by it despite your fears otherwise people will get hurt if you are indecisive or weak. so damned if you do, damned if you dont. Gets easier after the first time though as you have the confidence and experience to know you can make the right decision under pressure.
the other hardest thing ive had to do is asking for help when i realised i was going nuts. Things hadnt been right for a while and being both physically ill with a lung infection hadnt helped and i hadnt realised how ill i was. Id got to the point when on watch on the submarine i would climb up the conning tower and just think i could solve everything by letting go the ladder and falling the full hieght or "falling" off the bridge. I still hadnt worked it out by then and it was only when i went on a car meet in ireland for a weekend break that i cracked up totally and tried to commit suicide one evening. Got caught though and spent the next couple of days finding the courage to go to the doctor on base and admit i had a problem. On one hand i didnt want to let down the Ship's Company as we were going back to sea later that week yet on the other hand things just couldnt carry on as they were. No way would i have survived another few weeks at sea especially as i was cutting myself by then to cope with the shit in my head and in a close environment at sea i doubt i could have hidden that yet on balance i shouldnt try to hide it as it would have been dangerous for me to still be in that environment, so in the end it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do to tell the doctor what happened. I was totally devastated when he pretty much immediately said he was pulling me off boat for at least 6 months yet at the same time glad i wasnt putting anyone at risk.
going to my mums funeral when i was 11 and remaining composed was damned hard. She'd been ill for years and had had two failed kidney transplants, was brain damaged and wheelchair bound and couldnt look after herself so on balance it ended her suffering yet i still wanted her back. I wont forget when she was rushed into hospital, went into cardiac arrest, came back for a bit, said "I'm still here" with a look of disapointment on her face, gasped then died.
I used to think it was my fault she said that although i know different now.
Another massively hard thing has been making life or death decisions not for me but in the forces when youve got other peoples lives in your hands. The very first time you make a decision like that is the hardest decision you can make. But at the same time you HAVE to make a decision and stand by it despite your fears otherwise people will get hurt if you are indecisive or weak. so damned if you do, damned if you dont. Gets easier after the first time though as you have the confidence and experience to know you can make the right decision under pressure.
the other hardest thing ive had to do is asking for help when i realised i was going nuts. Things hadnt been right for a while and being both physically ill with a lung infection hadnt helped and i hadnt realised how ill i was. Id got to the point when on watch on the submarine i would climb up the conning tower and just think i could solve everything by letting go the ladder and falling the full hieght or "falling" off the bridge. I still hadnt worked it out by then and it was only when i went on a car meet in ireland for a weekend break that i cracked up totally and tried to commit suicide one evening. Got caught though and spent the next couple of days finding the courage to go to the doctor on base and admit i had a problem. On one hand i didnt want to let down the Ship's Company as we were going back to sea later that week yet on the other hand things just couldnt carry on as they were. No way would i have survived another few weeks at sea especially as i was cutting myself by then to cope with the shit in my head and in a close environment at sea i doubt i could have hidden that yet on balance i shouldnt try to hide it as it would have been dangerous for me to still be in that environment, so in the end it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do to tell the doctor what happened. I was totally devastated when he pretty much immediately said he was pulling me off boat for at least 6 months yet at the same time glad i wasnt putting anyone at risk.
26-08-2010, 01:14 AM
#53
one of two things spring to mind.. but they are both so related that ill mention them as one.
Kissing my 10 year old brother goodby for the last time before they closed the coffin lid before the funeral, and then giving a eulogy for him at the funeral!
Kissing my 10 year old brother goodby for the last time before they closed the coffin lid before the funeral, and then giving a eulogy for him at the funeral!
26-08-2010, 01:28 AM
#55
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We were taking at work today about the hardest thing that we have all ever had to do, and it made me think. I've had some tough decisions to make and had to do some really difficult things (as have we all) but this one was the toughest for me. As some of you may know, my dad died suddenly on 7th January this year, and he was buried on the 22nd which was a Friday. On the Tuesday (19th) I went and physically saw my dad for the last time at the funeral directors and actually said 'goodbye' to him, knowing that I would never see him again. That was THE hardest thing I have ever done.
So guys, what's the ONE toughest thing you've ever had to do ? Please keep this clean and sensible topic, and maybe we can all learn something
So guys, what's the ONE toughest thing you've ever had to do ? Please keep this clean and sensible topic, and maybe we can all learn something
Last edited by benjaminsarmy; 26-08-2010 at 01:33 AM.
26-08-2010, 06:06 AM
#57
nate , benjamin ,
my deepest and most sinceerest condolences guys ,
not singling you to out , but having to lay to rest a younger brother or a child for me would be unbearable ,
people say i was brave doing what i did ,
you two are on another level guys ,
i take my hats off to both of you !
beef
my deepest and most sinceerest condolences guys ,
not singling you to out , but having to lay to rest a younger brother or a child for me would be unbearable ,
people say i was brave doing what i did ,
you two are on another level guys ,
i take my hats off to both of you !
beef
26-08-2010, 06:58 AM
#58
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couple of things.
going to my mums funeral when i was 11 and remaining composed was damned hard. She'd been ill for years and had had two failed kidney transplants, was brain damaged and wheelchair bound and couldnt look after herself so on balance it ended her suffering yet i still wanted her back. I wont forget when she was rushed into hospital, went into cardiac arrest, came back for a bit, said "I'm still here" with a look of disapointment on her face, gasped then died.
I used to think it was my fault she said that although i know different now.
Another massively hard thing has been making life or death decisions not for me but in the forces when youve got other peoples lives in your hands. The very first time you make a decision like that is the hardest decision you can make. But at the same time you HAVE to make a decision and stand by it despite your fears otherwise people will get hurt if you are indecisive or weak. so damned if you do, damned if you dont. Gets easier after the first time though as you have the confidence and experience to know you can make the right decision under pressure.
the other hardest thing ive had to do is asking for help when i realised i was going nuts. Things hadnt been right for a while and being both physically ill with a lung infection hadnt helped and i hadnt realised how ill i was. Id got to the point when on watch on the submarine i would climb up the conning tower and just think i could solve everything by letting go the ladder and falling the full hieght or "falling" off the bridge. I still hadnt worked it out by then and it was only when i went on a car meet in ireland for a weekend break that i cracked up totally and tried to commit suicide one evening. Got caught though and spent the next couple of days finding the courage to go to the doctor on base and admit i had a problem. On one hand i didnt want to let down the Ship's Company as we were going back to sea later that week yet on the other hand things just couldnt carry on as they were. No way would i have survived another few weeks at sea especially as i was cutting myself by then to cope with the shit in my head and in a close environment at sea i doubt i could have hidden that yet on balance i shouldnt try to hide it as it would have been dangerous for me to still be in that environment, so in the end it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do to tell the doctor what happened. I was totally devastated when he pretty much immediately said he was pulling me off boat for at least 6 months yet at the same time glad i wasnt putting anyone at risk.
going to my mums funeral when i was 11 and remaining composed was damned hard. She'd been ill for years and had had two failed kidney transplants, was brain damaged and wheelchair bound and couldnt look after herself so on balance it ended her suffering yet i still wanted her back. I wont forget when she was rushed into hospital, went into cardiac arrest, came back for a bit, said "I'm still here" with a look of disapointment on her face, gasped then died.
I used to think it was my fault she said that although i know different now.
Another massively hard thing has been making life or death decisions not for me but in the forces when youve got other peoples lives in your hands. The very first time you make a decision like that is the hardest decision you can make. But at the same time you HAVE to make a decision and stand by it despite your fears otherwise people will get hurt if you are indecisive or weak. so damned if you do, damned if you dont. Gets easier after the first time though as you have the confidence and experience to know you can make the right decision under pressure.
the other hardest thing ive had to do is asking for help when i realised i was going nuts. Things hadnt been right for a while and being both physically ill with a lung infection hadnt helped and i hadnt realised how ill i was. Id got to the point when on watch on the submarine i would climb up the conning tower and just think i could solve everything by letting go the ladder and falling the full hieght or "falling" off the bridge. I still hadnt worked it out by then and it was only when i went on a car meet in ireland for a weekend break that i cracked up totally and tried to commit suicide one evening. Got caught though and spent the next couple of days finding the courage to go to the doctor on base and admit i had a problem. On one hand i didnt want to let down the Ship's Company as we were going back to sea later that week yet on the other hand things just couldnt carry on as they were. No way would i have survived another few weeks at sea especially as i was cutting myself by then to cope with the shit in my head and in a close environment at sea i doubt i could have hidden that yet on balance i shouldnt try to hide it as it would have been dangerous for me to still be in that environment, so in the end it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do to tell the doctor what happened. I was totally devastated when he pretty much immediately said he was pulling me off boat for at least 6 months yet at the same time glad i wasnt putting anyone at risk.
big respect to everyone else on here aswell thats had to hold there shoulders high and crack on with the situation they have had to deal with.
26-08-2010, 07:11 AM
#59
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
Lost a great mate when we were 18. We had all been out the night before for my bday then some of us went to the RS show the day after. Remember getting calls from people that never usually calling me saying my mate was dead!
Turns out he'd gone down the cliffs and fallen off the rocks and broken his neck. Tragic thing was his younger bro was first to him and tried to save him.
Couldn't bring myself to see his body but seemed to be the person people felt safe breaking down with so had to support many people in that time which was hard.
Toughest thing tho was watching my mates younger bro lower him into the ground. What strength it must've took.
Miss you pal - hope you're up there fishing and having a laugh.
Turns out he'd gone down the cliffs and fallen off the rocks and broken his neck. Tragic thing was his younger bro was first to him and tried to save him.
Couldn't bring myself to see his body but seemed to be the person people felt safe breaking down with so had to support many people in that time which was hard.
Toughest thing tho was watching my mates younger bro lower him into the ground. What strength it must've took.
Miss you pal - hope you're up there fishing and having a laugh.
26-08-2010, 07:21 AM
#60
PassionFord Post Troll
Making the decision whether or not to turn my wife's life support machine of was pretty much THE hardest decision of my life.
I surely hope i don't have to make a decision harder than that again
I surely hope i don't have to make a decision harder than that again
26-08-2010, 07:35 AM
#61
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Leaving the ex and my young daughter
See her every weekend and all is amicable but eats away at me every hour of every day not being with my special girl
See her every weekend and all is amicable but eats away at me every hour of every day not being with my special girl
26-08-2010, 08:21 AM
#62
Amazing topic... so many heart wrenching stories here, hats off to you guys, all of you.
I have sat here and pondered this one and I dont really have a single event, but can think of four main ones so will share them all...
1) Splitting up with my wife Nicole in Jan this year and having to come to terms with the fact that my daughter Ella (18mth old then) will no longer be in my life every single day and will likely one day have a new man living with her as a father figure who she may regard as daddy due to her young age.
2) Creating a presentation slideshow for Nicole's fathers funeral. He was like my own father and I loved him dearly... somehow it was so so painfull to put together. Tribute here:
3) Watching Nicole make the decision to have her horse put to sleep and standing there holding them both as he sank down to his knees and died. Never again thanks.
I have sat here and pondered this one and I dont really have a single event, but can think of four main ones so will share them all...
1) Splitting up with my wife Nicole in Jan this year and having to come to terms with the fact that my daughter Ella (18mth old then) will no longer be in my life every single day and will likely one day have a new man living with her as a father figure who she may regard as daddy due to her young age.
2) Creating a presentation slideshow for Nicole's fathers funeral. He was like my own father and I loved him dearly... somehow it was so so painfull to put together. Tribute here:
3) Watching Nicole make the decision to have her horse put to sleep and standing there holding them both as he sank down to his knees and died. Never again thanks.
26-08-2010, 08:51 AM
#63
Watching the woman I loved most in the world be consumed by a serious mental illness and not being able to stop it happening.
Helplessness is a horrible feeling.
However I've never suffered the way that some people in this thread have as Ive always had great family and friends around me, I dont think anything you go through with others around you to help you can ever compare to suffering on your own like some people have had to, so in that context, ive yet to have to do anything truely hard in my life.
Helplessness is a horrible feeling.
However I've never suffered the way that some people in this thread have as Ive always had great family and friends around me, I dont think anything you go through with others around you to help you can ever compare to suffering on your own like some people have had to, so in that context, ive yet to have to do anything truely hard in my life.
26-08-2010, 09:10 AM
#65
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Every hair on my body is stuck up like the spikes on a hedgehog - some truely sobering and touching stories - my condolences go out to all you guys, families and friends.
Tom
Tom
26-08-2010, 09:43 AM
#66
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Jesus there are some real heart wrenching stories on here
I have thankfully only had to hard things to do in my life....
1) When i was 10 years old at my grandads funeral I was asked by my Nan to put a white rose in his coffin at the funeral....but the coffin was an open one and something i will never forget as i regarded him as a god at that age and to say my final goodbye was terrible at that age.
2) Watching my Dad slowly fall into major depression, including 4 nervous breakdowns and 3 suicide attempts.... the same as chip really as i was helpless to change anything,
I have thankfully only had to hard things to do in my life....
1) When i was 10 years old at my grandads funeral I was asked by my Nan to put a white rose in his coffin at the funeral....but the coffin was an open one and something i will never forget
as i regarded him as a god at that age and to say my final goodbye was terrible at that age.2) Watching my Dad slowly fall into major depression, including 4 nervous breakdowns and 3 suicide attempts.... the same as chip really as i was helpless to change anything,
26-08-2010, 10:05 AM
#68
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Mine was similar.. Grandad had a heart attack and spent 3 days in intensive care on meds to keep him alive. He ended up too reliant on meds so they had to be withdrawn. I sat by his side for the remaining 3 hours he had left on his own steam (but sedated) watching his blood pressure drop and drop and drop untill he passed away. I camped (not literally) at his bedside from the moment he had his attack till the end. Devastating does not even describe it!
26-08-2010, 11:00 AM
#69
) so its probably harder to spot someone whos mentally ill as opposed to just a bit unhinged! Plus as the "boss" theres even more pressure to deal with it yourself rather than ask for help.
26-08-2010, 12:16 PM
#71
escort rst cosworth rep
26-08-2010, 12:27 PM
#73
stu , as said before massive condolences to you and also fellow posters ,
mine has to be loosing my dad , he got diagnosed in the november , i gave up my job in the january when he got really bad , spent every day taking him to the hospital ect ,
lol rember one night i snuck him out the hozzy... wheelchair n all at about 1 am in the evening , for fish n chips pmsl we drove around for an hour trying to find a chippy ..that was the last time me n him had a chuckle
anyway ,couple of weeks later , he passed away on fathers day 2009 , id spent the evening before sat in his room with him watching him struggle to breathe ,holding his hand ect . 8 am the next morning i left to go home to get sum sleep upon the orders of family ect ,
i got woken up @ 10:25 am by my mum to say he had passed away ....
my dad lived 5 min from me but that walk seemed like it took an hour
when i got to his house i closed his eyes , sat in the room whilst everyone came and said there goodbyes , held my brothers whilst they broke down in tears , and had to help carry him down with the funeral directors ,
i organised the entire funeral , he got a massive turnout me and some close family carried him into the crem
i conducted the full 45 minuite ceramony including talking about his life , intrducing three friends who spoke about him , played his songs and even the final committal and closed the curtains in the chapel , all without breaking down ,
even now i kinda dont know how i managed , at the time it didnt seem real ,i wanted to do him proud so i kept it together ,
looking back , it has to be the single most hardest thing ive done , and its only a year or so on the harsh reality of loosing my dad and best mate is sinking in .......
i really do feel for folk who have lost people , and i can also relate to sapphlover loosing a ex partners child , as been in your situation aswell fella word for word ,
beef
mine has to be loosing my dad , he got diagnosed in the november , i gave up my job in the january when he got really bad , spent every day taking him to the hospital ect ,
lol rember one night i snuck him out the hozzy... wheelchair n all at about 1 am in the evening , for fish n chips pmsl we drove around for an hour trying to find a chippy ..that was the last time me n him had a chuckle
anyway ,couple of weeks later , he passed away on fathers day 2009 , id spent the evening before sat in his room with him watching him struggle to breathe ,holding his hand ect . 8 am the next morning i left to go home to get sum sleep upon the orders of family ect ,
i got woken up @ 10:25 am by my mum to say he had passed away ....
my dad lived 5 min from me but that walk seemed like it took an hour
when i got to his house i closed his eyes , sat in the room whilst everyone came and said there goodbyes , held my brothers whilst they broke down in tears , and had to help carry him down with the funeral directors ,
i organised the entire funeral , he got a massive turnout me and some close family carried him into the crem
i conducted the full 45 minuite ceramony including talking about his life , intrducing three friends who spoke about him , played his songs and even the final committal and closed the curtains in the chapel , all without breaking down ,
even now i kinda dont know how i managed , at the time it didnt seem real ,i wanted to do him proud so i kept it together ,
looking back , it has to be the single most hardest thing ive done , and its only a year or so on the harsh reality of loosing my dad and best mate is sinking in .......
i really do feel for folk who have lost people , and i can also relate to sapphlover loosing a ex partners child , as been in your situation aswell fella word for word ,
beef
I actually welled up reading that mate, you are a good man.
26-08-2010, 12:59 PM
#75
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some real sad stories there hats off to you all especially the ones with children involved as a dad myself i couldnt imagine life without my kids
I lost my grandma on my mums side about 12 years ago but never really understood it at the time.
Late last year my grandad died of cancer fought it for 3 years and looked so ill he was a farmer all his life tough as boots fit as a fiddle always on the go never in his whole life had he visited a doctor or hospital he didn't do ILL untill the cancer got him.
One sunday all the family arranged to go and see him at home as his condition was getting worse we all visited, chatted and said our goodbye's for the last time that night he passed away it was like he had said goodbye to everyone and that was his time.
It was more difficult as im older and have my kids now and im supposed to be strong for them.
I lost my grandma on my mums side about 12 years ago but never really understood it at the time.
Late last year my grandad died of cancer fought it for 3 years and looked so ill he was a farmer all his life tough as boots fit as a fiddle always on the go never in his whole life had he visited a doctor or hospital he didn't do ILL untill the cancer got him.
One sunday all the family arranged to go and see him at home as his condition was getting worse we all visited, chatted and said our goodbye's for the last time that night he passed away
it was like he had said goodbye to everyone and that was his time.It was more difficult as im older and have my kids now and im supposed to be strong for them.
26-08-2010, 01:00 PM
#76
26-08-2010, 01:08 PM
#77
Some very touching stories here guys.
I think that lowering my gran into her grave, having to let go of that cord, watching it fall for what seemed like a lifetime and then land on top of her coffin last Friday was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She was one of my best friends that has been SO close to me for my whole life. So having to say goodbye, knowing that I'll never see her again, is very tough to deal with.
Cheers,
Grant
I think that lowering my gran into her grave, having to let go of that cord, watching it fall for what seemed like a lifetime and then land on top of her coffin last Friday was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She was one of my best friends that has been SO close to me for my whole life. So having to say goodbye, knowing that I'll never see her again, is very tough to deal with.
Cheers,
Grant
26-08-2010, 01:12 PM
#78
stu , as said before massive condolences to you and also fellow posters ,
mine has to be loosing my dad , he got diagnosed in the november , i gave up my job in the january when he got really bad , spent every day taking him to the hospital ect ,
lol rember one night i snuck him out the hozzy... wheelchair n all at about 1 am in the evening , for fish n chips pmsl we drove around for an hour trying to find a chippy ..that was the last time me n him had a chuckle
anyway ,couple of weeks later , he passed away on fathers day 2009 , id spent the evening before sat in his room with him watching him struggle to breathe ,holding his hand ect . 8 am the next morning i left to go home to get sum sleep upon the orders of family ect ,
i got woken up @ 10:25 am by my mum to say he had passed away ....
my dad lived 5 min from me but that walk seemed like it took an hour
when i got to his house i closed his eyes , sat in the room whilst everyone came and said there goodbyes , held my brothers whilst they broke down in tears , and had to help carry him down with the funeral directors ,
i organised the entire funeral , he got a massive turnout me and some close family carried him into the crem
i conducted the full 45 minuite ceramony including talking about his life , intrducing three friends who spoke about him , played his songs and even the final committal and closed the curtains in the chapel , all without breaking down ,
even now i kinda dont know how i managed , at the time it didnt seem real ,i wanted to do him proud so i kept it together ,
looking back , it has to be the single most hardest thing ive done , and its only a year or so on the harsh reality of loosing my dad and best mate is sinking in .......
i really do feel for folk who have lost people , and i can also relate to sapphlover loosing a ex partners child , as been in your situation aswell fella word for word ,
beef
mine has to be loosing my dad , he got diagnosed in the november , i gave up my job in the january when he got really bad , spent every day taking him to the hospital ect ,
lol rember one night i snuck him out the hozzy... wheelchair n all at about 1 am in the evening , for fish n chips pmsl we drove around for an hour trying to find a chippy ..that was the last time me n him had a chuckle
anyway ,couple of weeks later , he passed away on fathers day 2009 , id spent the evening before sat in his room with him watching him struggle to breathe ,holding his hand ect . 8 am the next morning i left to go home to get sum sleep upon the orders of family ect ,
i got woken up @ 10:25 am by my mum to say he had passed away ....
my dad lived 5 min from me but that walk seemed like it took an hour
when i got to his house i closed his eyes , sat in the room whilst everyone came and said there goodbyes , held my brothers whilst they broke down in tears , and had to help carry him down with the funeral directors ,
i organised the entire funeral , he got a massive turnout me and some close family carried him into the crem
i conducted the full 45 minuite ceramony including talking about his life , intrducing three friends who spoke about him , played his songs and even the final committal and closed the curtains in the chapel , all without breaking down ,
even now i kinda dont know how i managed , at the time it didnt seem real ,i wanted to do him proud so i kept it together ,
looking back , it has to be the single most hardest thing ive done , and its only a year or so on the harsh reality of loosing my dad and best mate is sinking in .......
i really do feel for folk who have lost people , and i can also relate to sapphlover loosing a ex partners child , as been in your situation aswell fella word for word ,
beef
very touching story beef loads and loads of repect for you mate
26-08-2010, 01:28 PM
#79
A lot of these stories have really touched me - especially benjaminsarmy's - my heart goes out to you.
when i started posting my post warren hadnt replied, and by the looks of it, it took me 45 minutes to write that - and i still had tears streaming down my face just typing that. I will finish what i was trying to write this morning.
Since he died in on the 8th december 2005, we have been looking at a fitting way to put a memorial in place, a plaque wouldnt fit, a website wouldnt fit, however when Jen Fell pregnant last year, and wsa due on the 9th december - it all seamed too much of a coincidence and so we decided Oliver was going to be our sons middle name (if it was a boy - we didnt want to know the sex). on the 18th December (some 9 days over) Jen gave birth to a 10lb 1oz baby boy, and he so he was named Thomas Oliver Hall.
when i started posting my post warren hadnt replied, and by the looks of it, it took me 45 minutes to write that - and i still had tears streaming down my face just typing that. I will finish what i was trying to write this morning.
Since he died in on the 8th december 2005, we have been looking at a fitting way to put a memorial in place, a plaque wouldnt fit, a website wouldnt fit, however when Jen Fell pregnant last year, and wsa due on the 9th december - it all seamed too much of a coincidence and so we decided Oliver was going to be our sons middle name (if it was a boy - we didnt want to know the sex). on the 18th December (some 9 days over) Jen gave birth to a 10lb 1oz baby boy, and he so he was named Thomas Oliver Hall.
26-08-2010, 01:39 PM
#80
nate , benjamin ,
my deepest and most sinceerest condolences guys ,
not singling you to out , but having to lay to rest a younger brother or a child for me would be unbearable ,
people say i was brave doing what i did ,
you two are on another level guys ,
i take my hats off to both of you !
beef
my deepest and most sinceerest condolences guys ,
not singling you to out , but having to lay to rest a younger brother or a child for me would be unbearable ,
people say i was brave doing what i did ,
you two are on another level guys ,
i take my hats off to both of you !
beef