It's one of my best mate's birthdays, and i was supposed to be with him on a bender in Manchester tonight. Due to severe cash problems ,i can't make it.

He's in lap dancing joint, and got her to call me. She sounded nice, really well spoken. She said that she wanted to show me her butterfly, and that she wanted to get naked, but couldnt cos i wasn't there. Then she proceeded to beg me to come down, and that she'd make it worth my while

 

Why the fuck are you still here!???

 

Are you gone yet or are you hunched over a speeding fist at the thought of it????????