Must be some scary/funny storys!

I always remember a poster at my dads old garage where some guy had routed his amplifier lead in through his passenger window and always left it open a little bit!!

Look forward to hearing some good storys!

 

nothing spectacular but i had to laugh at the guy whuo turned up in a suzuki swift beautifully dressed with wooden spoilers and side skirts lol he thought it were the dogs nuts lol, must of been a fencer

 

one of my mates used samco hose on his fuel lines for his let nova saloon luckly it just perrished & leaked a lot of fuel while he was driving to pod for pvs

 

last month had a guy come in and his "pub no it all mate" had put some brake pipes on for him as it failed its mot on them, he had cable tied the pipes to the exhaust, fookin unreal !!!

 

Once mot'd a ka from pumaspeed the bloody thing had the front chassis rail deeplt hacked into to allow 1.7 engine, not rewelded just simply left wide open

Amazingly it passed elswhere without work carried out

 

206 when they were new, someone deided to repaint it.................................by can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Had one the other day on a fiat punto an old dear had just recently bought, knocking from suspension front and rear, broken coil spring on the front and burst shocker on the rear.

Fitted new spring and in the process of changing the rear shocker i happened to brush against the brake pipe going to the wheel cylinder, fluid started to leak from it straight away, strange i thought and cleaned all the muck off for a better view of it thinking it was a badly corroded pipe only to find that the threaded shroud of the cylinder where the pipe threads into had previously been broken off somehow and they had tried to repair it by cross threading the brake pipe into the cylinder and sealing it all up with some sort of liquid metal type stuff

Fucking dodgy bastards, would risk someones life rather than replace a 15 quid wheel cylinder !!!!

 

One year old Porsche Cayenne Turbo($265000NZD here), had a radar detector fitted to it and guy was changing cars and wanted it transferred. I traced the wiring back to the fuse box for it's switched live.

Dodgy cunt had soldered the wire to the top of a blade fuse in the fuse box, to make matters worse he must have soldered to the outlet side of fuse and I can only assume he blew a couple as it should have been a 10A fuse in that slot and had a 30A......

 

once saw a young apprentice at a garage putting spark plugs in a golf vr6 with an air gun!!

 

very very wrong

 

hahahahahaha

 

A lad who was on the same mechanics course as me was sent to change the spark plugs on a diesel lol... And he went to do it...

 

lol sent a few lads on with that


when i were a nipper i had to grab the ht lead to see if it were working.........it was

 

lol

He was also sent to remove and refit the prop on a R5 Van
Now at work, new lads get sent round the factory for a glass hammer, and tarten paint etc etc...

 

when i were 16 i waited in the stores for a long stand....never turned up

 

When I was young and learning, I got sent next door to the neighbouring unit to borrow a left handed screwdriver. Was years ago. Burst out laughing as soon as I got back

 

Not really a bodge but a huge f*ck up.A young lad at our bodyshop was replacing a crash censor in a 55 reg merc.For those of you not in the know,the crash censor is a control box fitted next to the gearstick under the carpet.It has ball bearings in it and when the vehicle is hit in the left side the bearings move to a contact on the side of the control censor and the left side seat airbag goes off e.c.t.

Anyway a young lad was replacing this crash censor WITHOUT disconnecting battery,he wanted to lisen to the radio LOL.
As he unbolted the censor with the ignition ON,all the bearings inside made contact censing a MAJOR CRASH.He set off DASH BAGS ,SEAT BAGS ,DOOR BAGS,ROOF BAGS and STEERINGWHEEL BAG.
That means as well as the airbags it needed a new roof lining,seats,door casing and dash board.
TOTAL BILL Ł7000. Yes he was sacked.
Made one heck of a bang LOL.

 

mercury grey minter Not really a bodge but a huge f*ck up.A young lad at our bodyshop was replacing a crash censor in a 55 reg merc.For those of you not in the know,the crash censor is a control box fitted next to the gearstick under the carpet.It has ball bearings in it and when the vehicle is hit in the left side the bearings move to a contact on the side of the control censor and the left side seat airbag goes off e.c.t.

Anyway a young lad was replacing this crash censor WITHOUT disconnecting battery,he wanted to lisen to the radio LOL.
As he unbolted the censor with the ignition ON,all the bearings inside made contact censing a MAJOR CRASH.He set off DASH BAGS ,SEAT BAGS ,DOOR BAGS,ROOF BAGS and STEERINGWHEEL BAG.
That means as well as the airbags it needed a new roof lining,seats,door casing and dash board.
TOTAL BILL Ł7000. Yes he was sacked.
Made one heck of a bang LOL.












Bet he needed to change his undies after that .

 

im sorry but i would of pissed myself laughing at that one

 

suprised he wasn't knocked out by the airbags going off if they hit him.

 

I heard about someone who set off every air bag in a A4 putting on a tow hook 7k bill or somthing too... Rage!!!

JAmes.

 

That's what I thought.

Benni.

 

did you get a big weight instead?




I once got the bloke who does the ordering to phone BOC and ask em to come out and sharpen my gas axe!

 

Setting my timing to full advance.....

Dettings it tits off for 2k miles

 

I seen a fuel line repaired with hose pipe, it was injected as well, friday I "fixed" some lights on a mates van(LDV) as he said they were crap, been through two ministry mot's, (as is 3.5 tons) they said each year they're all like that, the bloody bulbs were in 120 degrees out, he now says they are a lot better, be interesting to see the beam on the beam setter!!
I rebuilt same guys skoda 130 rapide engine, a wet liner engine, as skoda garage had put two tallest liners at either end, so gasket popped.
Prior to this when we worked together his car(then) was a fiat 127, that blew a headgasket, but we only needed it to last another two weeks, so went to change the gasket, the last bloody bolt was corroded solid, so we levered head up, and used a junior hacksaw balde to cut through it, assemble with new gasket minus 1 bolt and liquid metal all around edge of cylinder head, did 10 miles each way to work, used 4 litres each way, we kept stopping to fill up.
I got caught out with sky hooks, and on base by my buddy with a left handed smoke shifter, I knew he was winding me up, so I went and did what I want, only to be told there IS such a thing, still don't know if it's true!!
tabetha

 

remember the nugget from the pug 106 forum
who chopped 3 coils off his springs, then got the zip ties out,



he should have lowered his car the proper way

 

Airbags don't usually go off unless the vehicle is moving above a certain speed

unless srs systems are different(i would say not due to regs)

Bet the boss was'nt happy

 

Just a few of my "finds"

Cable ties holding up an exhaust is a fairly common one!
Sawdust in a transit diff to help quieten it.
2 headbolts missing in a nissan 200
Exhaust manifold welded to the head on nissan 200
2 headgaskets on top of each other to try and lower compression, same nissan 200
Rear brake pipe disconnected and clamped with vice grips for a year because of a leaking cylinder on a toyota carina.

 

i had the similar thing when i was working for peugeot.our mastertech top guy was demonstrating to another tech how good the wiring was now on a 306 airbag ecu but tappin it on the tunnel as it had previously had a loose wire.next thing tons of smoke and noise as all airbags n pretensioners had gone off.what a melon

 

when i got my celica back after being cossie converted there was a block of rubber cable tied to the underside of the accelerator pedal . after spending Ł5500 id have expected something a little more technical.

 

There was a guy on the sr20 forum a while back that used a samco to join his turbo elbow to the frontpipe then wondered where the funny smell and gooey mess was coming from

Pics have gone now though

 

Why is he taking a class 7 vehicle to VOSA for testing? He could save money and find a garage that does class 7 tests as VOSA will spank him full fee and a lot of garages don't. We charge about Ł10 less than recommended full fee for example.

Only vehicle with a GVW of greater than 3500kg have to go to VOSA. If it is 3500kg or less, then a class 7 test centre can do it.

 

how about where a rubber fuel pipe and metal fuel pipe join on my car?on the way to the last drift event i was distraught to find i used 60 litres of fuel in approx 35 miles due to the two pipes being held together with electrical tape!!!!!!!!!luckily i had a spare jubilee clip and some spare fuel in the boot!!!!!!!!!

 

I never saw the car but my boss at the time had kept the discs and pads from a Carlton that a guy had fitted himself.....As the discs were so worn he used the worn out pads to space the new pads out a bit, the disc face had worn down so that it scalloped at the ends and you could see the cooling fins through it as well!
Crazy shit was it was a taxi as well!
Starting out on my lonesome in the next couple of weeks so I'm sure i'll see a fair few more home repairs and fuck ups soon!

 

:shoc ked:

 

Must be a few pigoens about

 

I actually know of someone who tried to use imulsion paint instead of a headgasket on an old jag. Was my dad's mate when they were kids. My dad almost wet himself everytime he told the story, especially the bit where the guy had actually assembled it and went to start it....

 

Big ones Pete lol

Paul

 

I hear of a guy who bought a lotus eclat that the previous owner had used sealer for EVERY gasket in the engine :s I bet he was miffed too when it wouldnt start up

JAmes.

 

PMSL