took 6 bouncers tonite
and guess what still not barred.
the head doorman said fuck that iam not putting thenm two out and waqlked off!
funny as fook.and i was in a good mood!

 

ur ether a huge mo fo or ur like the big mafia daddy man around ur way lol which one is it?

 

iam only little honest!
and i dont speak italian!
some little shite called me a dickhead at the bar so as there was only 12 of them and two of us so i started.
funny how they never followed me out though.
maybe its time i started to take my medication again!
SERIOUSLY THOUGH DONT YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN SOME LITTLE DICKHEAD SAYS "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

 

pmsl aye thats annoyin reply with..."no u think ure special....BANG" on the floor, then remind them their not that special

 

your fookin cool man

 

was he dressed in burberry???

mouthy gobs shites deserve all they get.

 

good on ya mate

 

wasnt spiky was it

 

The bouncers must have been pussys Timothy as i would have had you out on your arse

 

the doormen must be gay pmsl, do you know who i am is a classic lol only
spoken by the true nob jockey

 

drunk tim

 

Did you know who he was?

 

lol quality- everyone knows who I am so they dont have to ask and I dont need to say lol

 

the best reply is "yeah a fucking knob *SMACK*" and walk away.

 

So everyone in the whole of brum knows you?

They all go, hey, its Peter Kay

 

Fuck off Steve - but yeh most people know me... theres only a few million here

 

Mate if I was still working doors I wouldn't give a fuck who you were - you'd be on the floor

 

next time i go to brum im gonna stop and ask random people if they know you shings

 

ha ha ha ha... and I am gonna go up to people and say "itsmeagain"

fpmsl

 

GULP!!! new pants please!

 

Itsmeagain, Think i might try that 1 too!!!

SOrry jake,its a good ice breaker anywya!!

Pete..

 

FPSML

Might work

I went out the other week looking for a really fat and minging bird to take back to my mates-

We needed someone to do the cleaning before his parents came home

 

ah....mouthy bastards, don't you just love 'em - other such classics as:

"I know where you fcuking live!"

"Me and my mates are going to fcukin do you!"

"Your dead, fcuking dead"

"Im going to kill you"

...the joys of fri-sat nights eh?

 

Not meant to sound scary dude, jsut the way it is.... Spent two years on and off on the dorrs - fully lisenced(sp) up One thing I leart more important than anything - don't matter how big how ugly and how drunk, they are going out by any means nessecary My boss at the time taught me that if you think twice about taking the coont out, then you ain't gonna be able to - if you don't thkn and jsut DO it then you win

I ain't no half pint at 6'2" and about 14/15stone either

 

I tell people where I live-

99.9% of people who say they're gonna do something dont.

Its the ones that dont say anything you need to watch.

 

Sid - thats my fave "your dead, fucking dead ya hear!"

Cracks me up every time.... The ammount of times I heard that after chucking someone out and they usually stumble off in that kind of walk backwards/sideways way not wanting to turn their backs on you

 

I know what you are saying Thrush but then

my mate Brian is about 5.5 and about 14-15 stone and he does the doors in Tamworth- and did National day in his 3 dr. lol

And you wouldn't play "I'm pissed lets fight with him" so really it doesn't matter,

You're right if you have to think twice you will loose but then if you think corrrectly the first time you do there doesn't need to be a fight.

 

Shings - don't get me wrong I don't like fighting at all and think it is always the LAST thing that needs doing.... I don't want to fight with no one - tbh, I am scared of fighting

But there are plenty of ways to eject someone without even needing to go as far as fighting

 

bouncers should be given full permission to beat the shit out of every gobshite that ruins peoples nights

 

I haven't had a fight since I left school and that was 7 years ago-Dont see the point people get hurt.
I have stopped more than I care to remember and saved countless mates from getting a kicking so many times. good to see they've grown up a bit now and I dont do it anymore.

What we need is AJ's input- but he's prob doing the doors somewhere PMSL

 

My mate (guy who taught me bouncer ropes lol) did jsut that tho, and nearly went to court.... bunch of guys were refusing to leave a place (this is when I worked the bar not the door) and when the girl I was on bar with went over to collect their drinks one spat at her Well Danny, bouncer, just jumped straight in (he was dating said bird) and grabbed one by the wrist. Unfortunately the guy he grabbed took a swing with the other arm.... Big mistake

Danny snapped his wrist round the wrong way (broke it) then hed butted the guy and bust his nose then whacked another guy who was trying to get in on it in the ribs and cracked two of em (ribs I mean)

Oops

They left, but pressed charges Fortunately didn't end up in court tho....

 

Exactly, pretty much same here (not fought since school days I mean)

Tho I will admit to taking a good kicking a few years ago outside a pub with me mates It all kicked off and I tried to sort it out as usual but some cock whipped me with a belt (big fucking metal buckle) round the head I was like "wtf just happened?" but by that point I slammed on the floor and given a good kicking

Oh well ,shit happens

 

U asked for that- but you know if thats the sort of shit you like.

LOL

 

im thinking about goign on the doors in a few months mate, after christmas. any wise words?

 

Rudey- some cock whipping him by the looks of it

 

Shings - shaaaaaaat it fag

xr-stu - yeah don't get the crap kicked out of you on the first day

Rudey - not a lot, I jsut watched and learnt really well tell a lie, I just watched mostly did have a few scraps and took a few punches, but on the whole it was ojay.... Not my thing tho, and I'd rather be in the bar than outside it

 

^^^ Amen to that

 

im already a fucking target mate, im 6'9" with a shaved head so stand out like a bulldogs bollocks been involved in a few incidents where theres been bottles and glasses involved. i usually end up coming off worse as im a good easy target. broken noses and gashed up hands/head ahoy