I was is in the queue at Tesco's when I noticed that the rather
dishy blonde behind me has just raised her hand and smiled hello to me.

I was rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to me, and
although familiar I couldn't place where I might know her from, so I
say "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of
one of my children!"

My mind shoots back to the one and only time I had been unfaithful,
"Christ!" I say "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I
shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"



.



..



...


"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"