Not long ago someone I know, and a mate of his, both stopped their cars outside a bar and popped in for 2 mins, came out - 2 fucking clamps on each car! Luckily he ran a plant hire firm, so he got a lift back to his place, came back with a petrol angle grinder, fired it up, damn thing packed up! Went back to his place, got another angle grinder, set about the clamps...

By this time people from the bar were on the street outside clapping, the gimps from the clamping firm were present and making endless empty threats and general whining, all 4 clamps cut off, threw them in the Albert Dock (this was on the road past the dock in Liverpool), drove off to copious applause. Posted a letter through the door of the clamping company offering to pay for replacement clamps. Went to the police station and reported what he had done to the clamps, and that he was happy to pay for the clamps and had informed the clamping company of this, thus avoiding prosecution I believe, and as far as I know has heard nothing since. Quality