Was driving through Clapham Junction the other day and this youngish guy in a boxster comes hooting up the right side of me and clips this battered old vectra that was going the other way. Made a bit of a bang.

Anyway, the traffic slows for lights and next thing this vectra is hollering back up the road beeping and flashing and pulls up behind the boxster which is now a car in front to the right of me.

Young jamaican looking girl gets out, all gerry curls and nails and starts screaming as she's walking towards the drivers door and this bloke gets out.

My m8 anna was in the car with me and saw this guy get out, built like a brick toilet and she started drooling [I ain't never fancied a bloke, but if I did, I would be his b!tch] and all of a sudden this mental girl is fluttering her eye lids and apologising for screaming.

Anna asked me to crash into him so she could get his phone number.

Not proper road rage, but it was rather amusing.